TMSHelp Forum

TMSHelp Forum

All Forums

TMSHelp

TMSHelp General Forum

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Note: You must be registered in order to post a reply.
To register, click here. Registration is FREE!

Screensize:

UserName:

Password:

Format Mode:

Format:

Message:

* HTML is OFF
* Forum Code is ON

Smilies

[quote][i]Originally posted by Singer_Artist[/i]
[br]Hi All,

PTSD has always fascinated me because it is something that can affect any of us, not just soldiers of war..
The constant high level of stress I have been under for awhile now feels like it is catching up with me..I am feeling light headed, my neck is acting up and tightening up, occasional heart skips and chest pains etc (TMS Gremlin taking hold)..I am afraid I am going to 'collapse' for lack of a better term..I am holding myself together for my dogs sakes..I have to care for them while they are healing, especially KC..

For the first time in over 3 weeks I have to go somewhere for 3 hours..It's a long drive back and forth and I have to stop in and pay my respects..A dear friend's girlfriend died of cancer..I am entrusting my roomie/bro to watch the dogs and feed KC his little special meal while I am gone..But it does make me a nervous wreck because he has made mistakes b4..I think they will be okay and I know i will be calling checking from my cell while on the road to the memorial service..I am making it where he won't have to administer any meds..just give one small meal..But even that has a certain art to it, in KC's case..The dogs are on different diets too and want what the other one has..So i have to separate and feed in different rooms and their noses are 1000 times better then ours!

I am having to watch KC every time he goes out the doggie door to make sure he doesn't vomit..(electrolytes etc..) Thank God today, so far so good..But yesterday we were worried we might have to take him to hospital again for IV..There is a gal bladder issue from the pancreatitis that is still unresolved as well..He is seeming more and more like his old self..playing, etc..Thank God!! It has, however, been an awful roller coaster..so until I see true progress and get a good blood work report regarding his gal bladder/liver, etc..i just cannot relax..

(Oh Art, I looked into Kava, but didn't get it because there was a big warning on the bottle about if you have something going on w/ your liver and don't know it, etc..) So i am sticking to Valerian root and homeopathic Calms Forte..also magnesium when my heart skips beats helps alot..I SOUND NUTS DON"T I???

KC Doodles is a big dog, we think he has some wolfie in him too..And he is only able to hold down under a can of dog food a day..When he vomits we have to put him on a fast and it's a nightmare seeing him so hungry and foraging for food everywhere..Just heartbreaking, the whole thing..Forgive my repeating myself, ventilating does help..and your replies have helped me alot!

I am procrastinating on dropping the bomb on my boyfriend for fear he will lose it completely when I tell him it's over..
I am also worried about how I will feel after I go through with telling him..It will still be a big loss, even though I am the one doing the breaking up..I still love him and I miss the great times we shared just 5 months ago in NYC..I just don't see an end to his current hell he has been in and it has dragged me down with him..

I am just wondering what may happen to me (TMS wise) after my doggie is finally well again and then I realize that my b/f is no longer there..He may also call me hysterical like he did when I tried to break it to him so gently recently and then I took it back..I cannot stand hurting someone but yet I know I have to FINALLY think about ME too!

Then I wonder what happens if he gets his life back together and is back to the old, fun him and I am gone..? That is when my spirituality comes in and I think that if it's God's will, we will find our way back to one another..QUite honestly, I dread the thought of being single again (perhaps that is part of why I have avoided ending things w/ him this long)..But..The best part is that I can breathe easier and not hear about all this hellish stuff going on in his life on a daily basis! I cannot handle worrying i am going to get a call from someone telling me that he has hurt himself, etc..The love of my life died on me when I was 19 and that has left a horrible mark on my soul...I love my b/f now very much and want him safe and happy..He is really on the verge of falling lower and lower..I don't see anything changing for the better in any area..I just cannot handle the negativity anymore..

I want to surround myself w/ positive people from this day forth! Thanx for listening..I am just so scared about telling him..I dread hurting someone I do love..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen
[/quote]

Check here to include your profile signature.

T O P I C R E V I E W
Singer_Artist	Posted - 05/06/2007 : 11:50:19 Hi All, PTSD has always fascinated me because it is something that can affect any of us, not just soldiers of war.. The constant high level of stress I have been under for awhile now feels like it is catching up with me..I am feeling light headed, my neck is acting up and tightening up, occasional heart skips and chest pains etc (TMS Gremlin taking hold)..I am afraid I am going to 'collapse' for lack of a better term..I am holding myself together for my dogs sakes..I have to care for them while they are healing, especially KC.. For the first time in over 3 weeks I have to go somewhere for 3 hours..It's a long drive back and forth and I have to stop in and pay my respects..A dear friend's girlfriend died of cancer..I am entrusting my roomie/bro to watch the dogs and feed KC his little special meal while I am gone..But it does make me a nervous wreck because he has made mistakes b4..I think they will be okay and I know i will be calling checking from my cell while on the road to the memorial service..I am making it where he won't have to administer any meds..just give one small meal..But even that has a certain art to it, in KC's case..The dogs are on different diets too and want what the other one has..So i have to separate and feed in different rooms and their noses are 1000 times better then ours! I am having to watch KC every time he goes out the doggie door to make sure he doesn't vomit..(electrolytes etc..) Thank God today, so far so good..But yesterday we were worried we might have to take him to hospital again for IV..There is a gal bladder issue from the pancreatitis that is still unresolved as well..He is seeming more and more like his old self..playing, etc..Thank God!! It has, however, been an awful roller coaster..so until I see true progress and get a good blood work report regarding his gal bladder/liver, etc..i just cannot relax.. (Oh Art, I looked into Kava, but didn't get it because there was a big warning on the bottle about if you have something going on w/ your liver and don't know it, etc..) So i am sticking to Valerian root and homeopathic Calms Forte..also magnesium when my heart skips beats helps alot..I SOUND NUTS DON"T I??? KC Doodles is a big dog, we think he has some wolfie in him too..And he is only able to hold down under a can of dog food a day..When he vomits we have to put him on a fast and it's a nightmare seeing him so hungry and foraging for food everywhere..Just heartbreaking, the whole thing..Forgive my repeating myself, ventilating does help..and your replies have helped me alot! I am procrastinating on dropping the bomb on my boyfriend for fear he will lose it completely when I tell him it's over.. I am also worried about how I will feel after I go through with telling him..It will still be a big loss, even though I am the one doing the breaking up..I still love him and I miss the great times we shared just 5 months ago in NYC..I just don't see an end to his current hell he has been in and it has dragged me down with him.. I am just wondering what may happen to me (TMS wise) after my doggie is finally well again and then I realize that my b/f is no longer there..He may also call me hysterical like he did when I tried to break it to him so gently recently and then I took it back..I cannot stand hurting someone but yet I know I have to FINALLY think about ME too! Then I wonder what happens if he gets his life back together and is back to the old, fun him and I am gone..? That is when my spirituality comes in and I think that if it's God's will, we will find our way back to one another..QUite honestly, I dread the thought of being single again (perhaps that is part of why I have avoided ending things w/ him this long)..But..The best part is that I can breathe easier and not hear about all this hellish stuff going on in his life on a daily basis! I cannot handle worrying i am going to get a call from someone telling me that he has hurt himself, etc..The love of my life died on me when I was 19 and that has left a horrible mark on my soul...I love my b/f now very much and want him safe and happy..He is really on the verge of falling lower and lower..I don't see anything changing for the better in any area..I just cannot handle the negativity anymore.. I want to surround myself w/ positive people from this day forth! Thanx for listening..I am just so scared about telling him..I dread hurting someone I do love.. Hugs and God bless, Karen
5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
Singer_Artist	Posted - 05/07/2007 : 18:22:35 Thanx Art, I will reconsider Kava..if I need to..Right now I am using Chamomile tea, Bach flower remedies and Calms Forte homeopathic remedy..I know what you mean about Valerian, it's just not strong enough.. Shawn, I am definitely a goodist, no doubt about that..and a perfectionist too..I have oftentimes in my life put others b4 myself and it has hurt me alot..I am dealing w/ guilt now over telling him I want to be just friends..He is very upset and let me know about it..I am just meditating, praying and focusing on my dog who needs me..I told him if he wants to call as a friend for support, I am here..I have alot of internal unconscious rage about my goodism.. Thanx for writing! Hugs to you both! Karen
shawnsmith	Posted - 05/07/2007 : 16:51:16 quote: Originally posted by Singer_Artist .I cannot stand hurting someone but yet I know I have to FINALLY think about ME too! If am read your postings correctly there appears to be a fair amount of goodism in your personality characterisitics. You seem to be someone always caring for others even when it hurts you personally because, as you said above, you "cannot stand hurting someone." This places a lot of pressure on the individual and contributes to inward rage. *********** Sarno-ize it! ***********
art	Posted - 05/07/2007 : 16:07:07 Karen, I of course respect your decision re kava. Just know, for what it's worth, that I've done a ton of research on the subject. That liver warning is based on a few isolated cases, none of which were in the U.S as I recall (it's been 3 or 4 years since I got interested)... Polynesians have been safely using kava for thousands of years and there's not a single case of liver problems among people using ground Kava from Hawaii..I'm convinced it's as safe a drug as you're ever going to find...It's also amazingly effective...Valerian root is really not very effective.
Singer_Artist	Posted - 05/06/2007 : 12:25:49 Thanx Shary..I have thought of that..Yes we are codependent..but there also is real love as well..I have had various combinations of both in past relationships through the years..He and I share some special things I have never had w/ previous lovers..I will miss that part, very much..I want to stay best pals with him, but once when i asked him if he would continue to be my friend if we ever ended, he said he could not..That he loves me too much and cannot be 'just' friends..Appreciate your input..I used to go to Codependents Anonymous meetings too, they were fantastic..When my dog recovers, I may start again.. Hugs, Karen
Shary	Posted - 05/06/2007 : 12:18:54 Karen, I sympathize with your decision to end your relationship. I know it's a painful decision for you. But judging from your post, it sounds to me like more of a co-dependency thing you have going on rather than real love. Consider this for a moment: You might not be any better for your boyfriend than he is for you. There is a distinct possibility that you will BOTH be better off without each other, except maybe as casual friends. With that in mind, try not to stress out over it by making yourself the bad guy. Best of luck to you!

TMSHelp Forum

Snitz Forums 2000