| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| scoob48 |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 10:32:12
I've been working with the mindbody approach to my chronic pain for years, but one thing I haven't done is get rid of my chiropractor, massage therapist, or Feldenkrais practitioner. I am ready to do that, but I am scared! There are two parts to my fear--the first, and strongest, is the fear of telling them what I'm doing and why. Do you think it's necessary in the healing process to be completely open about using the TMS approach? Or can I just tell them I won't be coming in (I have appointments scheduled with two of them right now) any more, and leave it at that? I am a chicken. I don't like breaking up with anyone. I think I've gotten attached to all of them and will miss having them in my life. Actually, I think that the last few years, I've been paying them to be my friends, and I need to get some "real" friends instead!
I also have that little fear in the back of my head that I may end up needing them again someday--just in case the psychological approach doesn't work and I don't want to burn any bridges!
Any suggestions??
Dawn |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| scoob48 |
Posted - 08/19/2007 : 13:41:25
Thank you all! I just canceled my appointments with my Feldenkrais practitioner and my massage therapist, by email. Thank God for email! (I hate doing it by phone.) I gave a bit of explanation to the Feldenkrais practitioner because we've talked a lot about repressed emotions causing physical pain. She "gets" it, I think. Now I'm ready to get on with the work of reading, journaling, and talking back to my brain!
And making some friends I won't have to pay! 
Dawn |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 08/18/2007 : 14:12:15
They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." It's all you need to know in order to recover. |
| Wilf |
Posted - 08/18/2007 : 09:12:27
I have had all of those therapists, and a few more. 5 years ago I just did not make new appointments - no explanation. I have not looked back. The pains that used to be aleviated (for about a day or two) by the Chiropractor, never returned. Just "cut the cord". Good luck |
| ralphyde |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 15:33:56
You've gotten some very good advice so far. Your not wanting to hurt the feelings of these people who have cared for you in their own ways is commendable, but also one of the characteristics of "goodists" who put others first and are susceptible to TMS.
And then there's this, which I assume you already know:
"The principle is that one must renounce any structural explanation either for the pain or its cure, or the symptoms will continue. Manipulation, heat, massage, exercise, and acupuncture all presuppose a physical disorder that can be treated by some physical means. Unless that whole concept is repudiated, the pain and other symptoms continue."
Sarno, Dr. John E., Healing Back Pain:
The Mind-Body Connection, p.81.
Best,
Ralph |
| Dave |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 15:33:17
I canceled my last chiropractor appointment without reason and never spoke to them again.
It is the goodist inside you who feels the need to explain the "break up". Why do you think this will burn bridges? You think they will turn away your business in 3 years because you didn't give them a reason why you stopped coming?
As far as thinking that you might need them again one day, you have to work on that doubt... |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 12:27:12
If I were you I would simply tell them that you won't be coming in anymore, and Dan's suggestion that if asked, you add "You've helped me, but I haven't experienced a resolution of my problems, so I'm going to be looking into other options" is a fair explanation. Don't explain any more if you're not comfortable. You will get into an argument with them (because they probably won't believe you) and it will only cause you problems -- they have very little at stake here, most such people have full stables of clients and don't worry too much about losing one.
If it reduces the pressure, try doing it one at a time. Start with the chiropractor -- in my opinion, they are the least compatible with TMS treatment. Start telling yourself the massage is just for relaxation and Feldenkrais is for fun! (I think it's fun, anyway.) Then as you feel comfortable, move on to reducing the frequency of or stopping those.
I had to 'dump' a chiropractor I was seeing at the time I learned about Sarno. He even knew about Sarno and kept some of his books on the loan-out shelf, and I had discussed Sarno with him. He still told me that he thought I should keep coming in at least until my appointment series was up. I told him that I appreciated his advice but I would not be coming in anymore. I was getting more relief from Sarno work at that point than from him.
I also stopped seeing a trigger point massage therapist. I simply told her at that time that I was feeling better after reading MBP (I told her the name of the book and the author) and that I would see how things went. She was actually quite nice about it, very glad I was feeling better and at least open to checking the book out, though I doubt she ever did.
Later I wrote letters to all my past practitioners (and there were many) telling them that I had appreciated their care but it had not effected my full recovery, and here was the thing that had, in case they wanted to learn about it and/or share it with future patients. I felt better after that because I was able to give those experiences some closure without being confrontational. So if you hope to tell your practitioners someday, that is one way you might do it.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| scoob48 |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 11:23:50
[quote]Originally posted by Webdan65
Dawn:
Therein lies the problem. You are more concerned about what your therapists think of you than you are with the fact that they haven't cured you.
Exactly! My husband keeps telling me that I owe them nothing. I am paying them for a service--I'm not there to serve them! I know he's right. I don't owe them an explantion. I tend to think I always need to explain myself when I tell someone "No." But that's the opposite of assertiveness. See, I know the truth. I just need to do it!
Thanks for the kick in the pants!
Dawn |
| Webdan65 |
Posted - 08/17/2007 : 11:16:59
Dawn:
Therein lies the problem. You are more concerned about what your therapists think of you than you are with the fact that they haven't cured you. Yes, they are friends - but at the same time, they are practitioners who have not provided lasting results. Shouldn't you be the one mad at them? Hmmm...
Simply cancel your appointments. If asked for a reason - tell them you are taking a break. No explanation needed. If pushed - tell them that while their services have provided some relief, it hasn't brought you a permanent cure. As a result, you are taking a break to explore other options. If pushed... "I'd rather not say" is a fine approach.
If they are friends and you are comfortable - feel free to tell them about TMS and that you are exploring THAT as the answer. If they care about you, they'll wish you well.
To answer your question directly - NO, being open with therapists you are firing is NOT part of the cure.
By the way, embarrassment is something we all deal with. I can't tell you how many people I told about TMS and the cure and what it did for me - only to have them look at me with their head cocked to the side. Even my own family who watch me go from writing in pain to back fully functional still think I'm nuts. LOL.
If they don't want you back as a patent/client later - that's their problem. There are very few bridges when YOU are the patient paying someone. And while they have provided some relief, they aren't the answer to curing the actual source of the problem.
As long as you continue these physical "treatments" you aren't really giving the TMS cure a fair chance. That is likely why you have been doing the mindbody approach for years without significant results.
Go get some real friends who you don't have to pay.
You know what to do....go for it. :-)
Dan
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