| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Cookie |
Posted - 07/18/2012 : 13:33:34
Hello all. This is my first post as I am relatively new to this whole TMS idea, but I've read at least 30 pages of this forum, so I was itching to write and ask some questions. I'm a 35 yr old male, in pretty good shape, and I've got the most excruciating sciatic pain running down my right leg and buttocks. This all started with searing lower back pain 3 years ago after what I thought was a work injury from repetitively lifting 60 lb tubs of food in a production area over a week's time (I am a research and development chef for a fresh foods company). That was the first back pain I ever had in my life, but even though it was very painful, I'm not much for doctors, so I toughed it out, and the pain went away in about 2 months time. I've always been in shape and healthy, so I figured it was no big deal, I had just really pulled some muscles from so many repetitive heavy lifts, and I was in the clear. The next summer (6 months later) I woke up with heel spurs out of nowhere, and those were very painful as well, but only lasted about a month or so, leaving as quietly as they had came. Next I had a bout of gastric reflux for about 3 weeks, and then 2 months later the back pain returned, but I hadn't done any lifting. This time, it didn't leave. This was in Sept. of 2011. I once again tried to tough it out being that it was exactly the same searing pain I had experienced before, but once the end of November rolled around and it was no better, I figured I should go see someone. I had never been to a chiropractor, and my friends all said I should give it a shot. I went for 2 months- 3 times weekly to no avail. So, in Feb of this year I said f-it and thought that I would take matters into my own hands and try to get back into shape and lose some weight to take the strain off my back. I had been pretty sedentary in the past several months prior because I could barely move, so I wanted to shock the system and I started P90X workout. If you don't know what it is, look it up. If you want to get in shape in 90 days- I can guarantee that it works and will kick your a--. I ended up losing 25 lbs and got in killer shape over 2.5 months time, but my back issue still hadn't cleared up. I told myself this was the last straw and I broke down and made an appt. at a real doctor's office. I'm in NYC and the Hospital for Special Surgery is 15 minutes away, so I figured I might as well go to the best orthopedic place in the country. Strangely enough, 3 days before my 1st appointment, my back pain suddenly disappeared, and this ridiculous sciatic pain took it's place. I've been seeing a physiatrist, and in the past 2 months, I've had an MRI, been diagnosed with a L5-S1 herniation, and received 2 epidural injections- the last one being a week ago today. No improvement. The doctor even told me last week that my MRI "didn't look that bad", to which I smartly remarked that "It hurts REALLY bad, so if it's not that bad, you should be able to fix it easily, right?" He didn't find it funny. A friend of mine gave me Dr. Sarno's- Healing Back Pain book 2 weeks ago, and I read it in one day. I firmly believe that I fit right into the TMS diagnosis given my demanding/perfectionist mentality. I've had most of the conditions he mentions in the book over the past 3 years. I was laughing because he was basically writing about me as several of you have remarked about yourselves. Since then, I've done as much research as I can on TMS, began reading The Divided Mind, and I have an appt. with Dr. Rashbaum in mid August. So, that's my story. As I am today, my only salvation is standing or walking as sitting is not an option because getting up from a seated position hurts so bad I feel like I want to puke. This sciatic pain is killing me, and really affecting my life in many negative facets. I need a change, but I don't know where to start. So, here are some questions to you veterans:
1.) I'm sold on the TMS idea. In it to win it now. What should I be doing to start making the pain go away?
2.) I wake up everyday with the hope that the pain won't be there. Did your pain go away suddenly, or did it gradually diminish over several days/ weeks
3.) What questions should I pose to Dr. Rashbaum when I see him?
4.) I originally did the P90X workout to help out my back. I ended up loving the workout eventhough it didn't help out the back pain situation. I would like to start it again, but not to cure the sciatic pain, just to get back into shape. Is this a good idea, or should I start out with something easier?
5.) The doctor gave me neurontin for nerve pain in addition to the fact that I've been waking up with some crazy leg cramps up the front and sides of my calves. Should I keep taking this for the pain, or should I say screw it all?
Thanks in advance for all your help. Just reading these posts makes me feel like I'm not the only one out there suffering, and gives me hope that there is salvation at some point. I want to be the next survivor story! |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Cookie |
Posted - 07/26/2012 : 10:07:34
This is a great post about Breaking the Pain cycle. Thanks Steve! I've been working very hard to really focus on "not focusing" if that makes sense. From the time I started on Monday until now, I have seen a marked difference in my daily life and pain. It's not that it's gone, but it is going down and easier to manage each day. Thanks so much to everyone for their help. It was much needed and is appreciated.!! |
| stevep |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 20:11:40
Read this article bro. I discovered it a few days ago and have been reading every day. It's pretty quick:
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Breaking_the_Pain_Cycle,_by_Alan_Gordon_LCSW
Also, get your hands on "The Great Pain Deception". It's fairly long, but very well written and captivating. Go to amazon and get on that. |
| Cookie |
Posted - 07/23/2012 : 15:52:14
Thanks for the replies Steve and drh! I really appreciate it. I've been working hard to focus on my emotions like you say, and I know some things aren't exactly great, but I'm struggling to right the ship. I have a really strong family and friends who are all behind me, but it feels like groundhog day every morning when I wake up. Nothing has changed which is very frustrating since I understand and believe in Sarno's principals and am working hard to explore every facet of myself. I just haven't found the right combination yet. I also decided to stop the neurontin as it hasn't provided any help since I started taking it. It's pretty clear that I don't need it.
Drh, I had to laugh with the "Bring it" comment. That guy is cheezy as hell, but he will definitely get you results. Yesterday I rode my bike from Queens to the UWS and back (about 20 miles) with no problems. As soon as I stopped riding and sat down... BAM!! My leg was killing me instantly. I figure since it doesn't hurt while I'm riding my bike, I'm going to keep doing that because it's a great workout. I'm also going to startup the home workout routine again because I need to lose a few lbs to reach my goal I set for myself back in February. I'm with you steve, there is no way I'm letting this stop me from doing what I love. I've just got to find the right key to stick in the hole. So far I'm coming up empty, but I'm hopeful that Rashbaum might be able to point me in the right direction. Has anyone else on this board seen him? Steve, it doesn't seem like you were too impressed with the guy which is disappointing. I'm sure he's busy, but you should def get time to ask more than 2 questions!
Anyways, thanks for the encouragement. I definitely can use it! |
| stevep |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 11:45:36
Damn OP, you and I are very similar. I am a couple years younger than you and have similar symptoms. Also am in NYC. Discovered Sarno in the beginning of the year. "Cured" myself with healing back pain. Lasted for a couple months, and came back with a vengeance. Been up and down ever since, with a bad bout right now. Wake up most mornings with bad spasms in my right calf and hamstring. And the hamstring is generally locked up all day. F'n brutal.
I saw Rashbaum a couple weeks ago. Was alright. He looked over my x rays and examined me. Explained the theory to me and gave me some reading material. Told me to contact him around labor day to see how it's going. The part I was a little annoyed about was that he didn't really have time for my questions. Busy guy I guess. I only got to ask two. Hopefully you get more time.
As far as working out, I'm at the gym as we speak. I'm not gonna give up on that. I'm not gonna let this monster win. I ran hard for a few miles yesterday, outside on the track. Felt amazing while running. Like, the best I ever feel throughout the day. It's not until I'm resting and my mind starts going in different directions and I guess worrying about the pain that it comes back. So that is further proof to me that there is nothing wrong with my back/leg other than chronic tension and spasm. There's no friggin way I could run that hard if I had some kind of disc problem or whatever. So don't give up man. God knows I want to. Especially right now when it's so bad. Try and focus on your deep issues and conflicts, as incredibly difficult as it can be to do. |
| drh7900 |
Posted - 07/20/2012 : 10:30:23
Welcome to the boards, Cookie!
I thought I'd chime in with my responses to your questions:
1)Start by reviewing Sarno's daily reminders for TMS. Start doing things you love to do. When the pain is bad, try your best to shift your focus from your pain to your emotional state of mind. What's going on in your life that can be adding stress to an already over-full "rage bank account"? Keep your focus on your emotions, not your pain. The pain is there to serve as a distraction...do your best not to let it be. Do your best to relax. Listen to some soothing music, read a good book...do something to even your "Rage to Soothe Ratio". Don't focus your efforts on making the pain go away...focus your efforts on your EMOTIONS. If you focus on the pain, the pain is serving its function.
2)Everyone's story is different here...I have had good days and not so good days since starting my journey. I'm not fully recovered yet, in fact the last couple of weeks have been harder on me. Sciatica is rough...I've lived with it for 12 years, but I can honestly say I'm doing better in the last 2 months than I have in the last 12 years thanks to finding Sarno's work. I'm still a work in progress.
3)I've not seen a TMS doctor, so I'm not sure what you should expect and what you should ask...but, if ask the questions that are going to help you fully wrap your mind around the TMS concepts. Ask the questions that, though you may feel convinced, will convince you even more solidly. Your history sounds like you are a classic TMSer...you need to solidify your belief.
4)If you can do P90X without it being a "stumbling block" to your mind holding firm to the TMS theory...by all means - BRING IT! (yes, I've done it; can you tell?). Sarno says to return to all physical activity. He also says you should make sure you're confident enough that it's not going to make things worse...if you feel pain and your confidence wavers, the pain serves its purpose.
5)Sarno recommends forgoing all physical treatment and I believe that includes pain killers. If you're having a particularly bad bout, the pain killers can help you take the focus off your pain but keep in mind the effect could very well be placebo and you could be hindering your progress. I stopped taking the morphine I was on and never felt any worse than when I was taking it. Make sure you check with whatever resources necessary to determine if you should wean off of neurontin...I can't remember if that's necessary for that one...I tried it year ago, but it did nothing for me.
Hope some of that helps...and again...welcome!
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Dustin |
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