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sagelady Posted - 02/25/2008 : 09:32:50
If you read my last post, it gives a pretty good overview of my weekend. Numbness less, lots of self talk, journaling. Overall felt I had a jump On TMS.
This Morning, woke up alittle concerned if symptoms would return, and they did. My question is this... is it common for symptoms to wax and wane in the beginning? Or for most do they just fade away?

I tried to think about emotions. Other than fear of Health anxiety. Diagnosed as PTSD, due to a life of medical tests and uncertainty, for myself and many close relatives. I have the usual laundry list of other issues. Same as most. But fear of medical tests and diagnosis has been the paramount.

This being said, isn't this against the TMS theory? That our brain causes us to be distracted from the fear or anxiety underneath? In my case the pain is the fear. Rereading the treatment chapter of mindbody prescription. It mentions making a list of those things that cause your biggest anxiety. So I listed all the family illness and rare diseases that have cumulated to the fear. Maybe just acknowleding these on paper will show me it was a valid fear, but i don't need to fear it anymore.

I don't know maybe I'm grasping at straws. What do you guys think. Maybe I'm just being impatient. Or maybe my underlying emotional issue of greatest concern to me is not part of TMS. I don't know, just a little disappointed the symptoms have returned abit after a good week end. But then again I was kind of afraid this might happen. And if it did I wouldn't handle well.

Any insight would sure be appreciated. I am trying SO HARD. And my workshop doesn't start until March 3rd.

Thanks folks,
Sage
9   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
cheryld10 Posted - 02/25/2008 : 18:28:55
Sage, That sounds like what I'm working on. I tend to empathize with others so much that I actually think I'm taking on their pain or illness. Before my back went out I saw a woman in ER (I took my stepdad there) who was in excrutiating back pain. I felt for her so much. A month later, after thinking about her every now and then, I break out with horrible back pain. I've taken on illnesses that were never found to be diagnosed too. My mom and many family members have arthritis..so I get sporatic bouts of that too. I now know that it's TMS.

I feel like "getting it" is the hardest part. Once we truly get a handle on it, it should be like a switch that we can easily turn off if it creeps in again.

Cheryl
mk6283 Posted - 02/25/2008 : 16:10:41
Sagelady, glad to see your visit went well and that you are making such great progress. I can totally relate to the urge to look for your symptoms upon awakening each morning. In my experience, if you keep looking, then it'll continue to be there. You have TMS, so your symptoms are merely a distraction and are NOT an indication of an underlying disease that you need to worry about. You really just need to start ignoring your symptoms. Don't think about them, don't look for them, don't get disheartened if they are still there, and don't doubt the diagnosis.

In my experience, the symptoms will disappear when you have reached a point where you have ignored them to the extent that you have completely forgotten about them. Then one day you'll find yourself saying, "cool I haven't even realized it, but my _____________ is gone!!!" I know its harder than it sounds, but you have received all the assurance you need to be successful. Be patient and continue your introspection. You're almost there. Good luck.

Best,
MK
armchairlinguist Posted - 02/25/2008 : 14:01:00
I sound grown up, but don't take me too seriously. Sometimes I am still a kid, emotion-wise!

--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment.
sagelady Posted - 02/25/2008 : 13:59:07
Thanks everyone,
I printed of your replies to reread and put into practice. Maybe put it by my bedside to read prior to getting out of bed, before i have a chance to worry whether symptoms will be there or not when I roll out of bed.

You guys have been wonderful, helpful and patient with me. If I have a chance at this is do to the support here. And then maybe I can be the one on the advice GIVING side. Would love to join the mentors one day when I grow Up

Sage
Littlebird Posted - 02/25/2008 : 13:19:11
Hi Sage,

Just a couple of thoughts to add to the excellent suggestions you've already got from others. For me, dealing with a lot of health issues, or supposed health issues, both of my own and of family members, has caused a lot of anger at the way my life feels out of my control. Things will start to settle down for a bit and someone I have to take care of has another issue crop up that I have to help deal with. It also brings up all of my abandonment issues from childhood.

I loved this comment from Dr. Ziggles, because it's so on point: "Your brain gives you something to be consciously worried about, so you won't be worried about what is emotionally distressing your unconscious. The key to TMS is to see that this is a trick, and that what you think is bothering you is not really what is bothering you!"

It can be a challenge to figure out the underlying emotions at times, and when you do it may be very surprising to find that they're different than what you would have expected. But for me, that's been a big help, to keep looking deeper. The kind of questions that Lori suggests asking in a lot of her comments to people have been very useful to me. (Thanks Lori, you not only help the people you write to, but help me as well.)

And what ACL said about anger has been true for me, it helps me get beyond the overwhelming sense of not having any control over my life and makes me feel like there are things I can do.

Best wishes!
armchairlinguist Posted - 02/25/2008 : 12:29:02
quote:
woke up alittle concerned if symptoms would return, and they did.


You don't have to look further to find out why the symptoms came back. Because you were worried they would! Your clever mind gave you something to worry about besides emotions.

Yes, your symptoms may come and go at times. As Dave wisely says, the important thing is not to monitor them, to change your way of thinking of them so that what you learn when they come is that you have some emotional thinking to do. Then you no longer fear them because you know all they are bringing is a message, not any true physical problem.

I would guess that your fear of medical conditions/tests is probably substituting for some other deeper fear. It is hard to know, but the important thing is be in the diagnosis, don't overthink it. Understand that your symptoms are coming from anger and from fear, from emotions. Go with that, and relax about the ups and downs. Don't try too hard. Do your homework for 30 min, maybe an hour, then forget about it and do an errand or go outside for a while. Have some fun. This TMS thing is hard work but it's also liberating and fun because you can have a life again.

You might try being angry at all the medical BS that you have had to worry about. Acknowledging that there is anger there too can be refreshing. Anger is powerful. It takes you out of a place where you feel helpless and reactive. Even if you don't do anything but just feel it, it is powerful.

--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment.
drziggles Posted - 02/25/2008 : 12:02:04
Just about every patient I see that I confront with the possibility of TMS says "I wasn't worried about anything until this [insert symptom here] started!"

That's the whole point! Your brain gives you something to be consciously worried about, so you won't be worried about what is emotionally distressing your unconscious. The key to TMS is to see that this is a trick, and that what you think is bothering you is not really what is bothering you! Ignore the physical symptoms and find out what is going on deeper in your noggin.

Good luck. (And of course, you should consult with your doctor before making any medical decisions).
sagelady Posted - 02/25/2008 : 10:29:42
Good ideas Lori. That will be my homework Geez I don't remember having this much homework in High school

Sage
mizlorinj Posted - 02/25/2008 : 10:19:45
How about writing about your fears.
I feel afraid that . . . and then list them regarding one particular fear. And is it reasonable that all these conditions you fear will come upon you? No.
Look for a reasonable expectation, e.g. I may get it but I MAY NOT. I am taking charge of my health and . . ." put a positive spin on it. That's what your brain needs to hear and feel.

Just because your family has had this or that does NOT mean you will get it too. But you have to feel that for yourself.

Fear is one of the "big 4" emotions.

How about writing about your anticipation of the pain coming back? You are planting the seed in your brain. . . time is needed to decondition.

-Lori

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