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 is it ok to fantacize about being pain free?

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skizzik Posted - 10/01/2008 : 12:11:39
Or is this circular reasoning? As Dave might say?

Ragesoothe mentioned picking a happy thought ala Monte thoughtswapping in a recent post and focusing on that.

Well, there's only one thought that puts a genuine smile on my face every time and thats what my life w/b like pain free.

All my other smiles or jovial moments are forced in front of others. I try to be grateful for my family and possessions, but who cares about anything, I mean anything at all when you have chronic unrelenting pain?

Were going to disney next year, should'nt that make me happy? All I see is wanting each day over with and squirming my 6'2 body like crazy for relief I wont get in a tight plane seat the whole way there. I did disney b4 the relapse a couple years ago, and dragged 3 kids around there for 12 hour days, and then dinner and 3 hours at the hotel pool and it was the best experience of my life.

And now I've tried not to think about the pain lasting till march, or accepting it might still be there, but if I visualize how great it w/b to be pain free by then, instant genuine temporary smile.

So why not just do that then? Well if I do then I'm not accepting right? If I'm fantacising no future pain then I'm building an altar to the pain, I'm erecting a monument to the pain. Then I've got the calendar phenomenon on steroids then right?

It's 5 mos away. Should I do more ignoring, 10,000 more pages of journaling, search for more therapists, read more tms books. 5 mos may seem like along time, but when your'e in chronic pain they fly by like days. I'm feeling so damn old and tired compared to 2 short years ago. I wonder if my kids (I hide my condition from them) will look back and tell each other how dad always seemed weird, like he was'nt really happy even though he'd smile in front of us.

Ok, sorry, thats drama for your mama talk. So is it ok to fantacize about not being in pain?
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skizzik Posted - 10/03/2008 : 06:08:47
Thanx for the replies, yesterday I had a huge response crafted on my blackberry only to lose it when I took a call and came back to it and it was gone. Either I hit the wrong button or you cant take a call when your'e in the middle of the response. Whatever. I'm bummed I lost it. But maybe it was meant to be lost. I'll probably respond later on my break or lunch. You guys spent a lot of time on your replies and I appreciate it.
mala Posted - 10/02/2008 : 05:05:15
Hey skizzik,

Do visualise yourself being pain free. That sort of reinforcement is very important to our recovery. I wouldn't use the word fantasise as there is an implication of an extravagant notion. Take a few minutes everyday to see yourself pain free and enjoying yourself immensely and let your body relax as you see yourself.


quote:
It's 5 mos away. Should I do more ignoring, 10,000 more pages of journaling, search for more therapists, read more tms books. 5 mos may seem like along time, but when your'e in chronic pain they fly by like days. I'm feeling so damn old and tired compared to 2 short years ago. I wonder if my kids (I hide my condition from them) will look back and tell each other how dad always seemed weird, like he was'nt really happy even though he'd smile in front of us.


Are you overdoing things? Maybe you need to stop journalling and overanalysing then. If the journalling is not helping can you think of something else that you can do instead? Maybe jourmalling is not the answer for everyone. What has helped you in the past?

quote:
ago. I wonder if my kids (I hide my condition from them) will look back and tell each other how dad always seemed weird, like he was'nt really happy even though he'd smile in front of us.



This is your id trying to make you feel guilty, trying to put pressure on you to be the perfect dad and hinting that you need to be better. It has even got you worried about how your children might view you. Look at the amount of pressure & worry it is putting you thru.

quote:
All I see is wanting each day over with and squirming my 6'2 body like crazy for relief I wont get in a tight plane seat the whole way


That's your id trying to frighten and scare you 5 months in advance. Don't let it do that to you. If you are in pain on the day you fly deal with it then.Take a pill or something. Don't let it hold you hostage like this. Don't give it such power! Tell yourself and tell your subconscious that you will be fine.



Good Luck & Good Health
Mala
mizlorinj Posted - 10/01/2008 : 13:59:22
Winnie, I liked The Secret. Very interesting info. Similiar to a lot of what Louise Hay says too. A very good mindset to have. I've had the experience (though not $100K) of expecting the best or a certain experience, and IT HAPPENED THAT WAY!!!

It's as I've said a lot: you get what you focus on.

Happy to hear of your progress, Winnie! And happy to hear you're working on releasing grudges. I know someone who is actually PROUD of her grudge-holding "I can hold a grudge like no one else" is her thing. She has so many health issues, I can't begin to list them. hmmmmmmmmm. Very sad.

winnieboo Posted - 10/01/2008 : 13:11:49
Hi Skiz---March!! We must get you healthy and happy by then! Disneyworld with the kids (as you know) is the best, and they LOVE it.

I agree with Lori: visualization can be positive. There's a funny book called "The Secret," which is about visualizing yourself rich or happy or healed and focusing on those thoughts every day until the positive feelings expand and (as it says in the book) the universe brings you what you're wishing for. There are some very convincing stories in the book, particularly the one about a guy who was broke and visualized making $100,000 that year and got an option for an old manuscript he'd written...it was so easy he then asked the universe for $1mm the next year and his book went wide and was published globally. It was "Chicken Soup for the Soul." So, why not? It's a positive approach. Think of it as building a new altar to health. No more phony smiles, just the ones that come from your heart because you are pain-free and happy.

We all have methods that work for us as individuals, journaling works for many, therapy is my thing--and it's certainly not always pleasant. But, I'm too stubborn to let things go on my own, I'm learning not to be the queen of holding a grudge, and I'm too obstinate in my arguments to untwist negative thoughts on my own. Having someone else assist me has been key.

Finally, one thing I noticed missing from your list of things to "dos" is exercising. Are you moving around, going to the gym? That's always a good Sarnoism for dissolving fear, pain and tension.

mizlorinj Posted - 10/01/2008 : 12:31:31
Hey skizzy.

Actually if you do this fantasizing as VISUALIZATION, there is evidence that it works that way!!! I'm a believer (haha, the Monkees) that you get what you focus on. Expecting the best is the way to go, though it's not always easy to do!

Actually, now that you asked about journaling, you mention a few things that could have potential. Or change your outlook. Airplane is cramped--it is the fastest way to Orlando though! I love flying so none of that bothers me--but I'm not as tall as you! Feeling old--well I did lots of writing on that one and I'm just a bit older than you!



Hugs

-Lori

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