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 How to feel the emotions?

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optimism Posted - 01/11/2007 : 13:53:54
My question is how to actually feel the emotions if you are conditioned to suppress them. I tend to suppress the emotions and create the pain instead. Understanding them does not help, I actually have to learn how to feel them. I noticed if I feel them (occasionally), I don't have the pain.

So, how to reverse that and start feeling them instead of avoiding or covering them?
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Dagnabit Posted - 03/20/2009 : 06:38:24
In TDM one of Sarno's colleagues states that the essence of psychological treatment is to help patients observe themselves in the act of repressing, and to simultaneously have them feel the emotion fully.
armchairlinguist Posted - 01/31/2007 : 11:07:16
Yes, I think Sarno does think that there are two types, or something similar. He doesn't describe it the same way. He recounts that some people are immediately cured on learning, some people require a bit more time. (Who knows what they are doing. I am guessing journaling, re-reading, de-conditioning, etc. as that's what I was doing.) Some people are not helped by these things, and those people he recommends to psychotherapy. Presumably they need to either explore more deeply or actually feel the feelings.

Wherever you go, there you are.
floorten Posted - 01/31/2007 : 05:43:19
Am I to understand that Sarno beliefs that there are two variants of TMS sufferers? One that can be healed purely from the knowledge, and one that has to feel the repressed emotions?

Can anyone clarify this for me?


"What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves."
Robert Anton Wilson
mizlorinj Posted - 01/30/2007 : 14:04:36
Hi there. Feeling the feelings is a learned art--most of us haven't done this. But I have found they do fade once felt. I find it helpful to write right away when something ticks me off, feel it, get as mad or whatever emotion it is, and be done. I was amazed when writing my list as part of Dr. Sarno's plan how much actually was there and needed to be felt and then to let it go. Sometimes I actually sigh relief when finished writing like a burden has been let go.
Laurel Mellin at has great information and books on learning to feel your feelings and let them fade for happiness and vibrancy in your life.
carbar Posted - 01/16/2007 : 21:44:35

Great link, Indy. And thanks for the editted connection, ACL.

I have been finding myself full of obsessive thinking lately and need to work harder at id'ing the cause. I think this will be really helpful.

optimism Posted - 01/16/2007 : 08:08:37
Thank you Indy for the wonderfull link you suggested reading.

All the best,
miehnesor Posted - 01/11/2007 : 16:14:28
Optimism- If you have the type of TMS where you have to feel the feelings to see relief(albeit temporary) then you may need help in getting to the feelings. I struggled with the same question for a long time until I realized that I needed therapy to help me feel. Dr Sarno says that therapy is necessary for those folks that have to feel what is repressed. I should have listened to this very sage advice as it would have shortened the years of suffering.
armchairlinguist Posted - 01/11/2007 : 16:09:27
Hey Indy, thanks, that looks like a good one. I found it hard to find on the site though. The direct link (printer friendly) is here:

I was fairly put off by having to navigate through the "aura" and "vibrations" stuff first so hopefully this will help others get there directly.

I think you just have to ignore her little plugs for her method and look at the really good, practical stuff, unless you are into that sort of thing.

Wherever you go, there you are.
Indy Posted - 01/11/2007 : 14:42:33
Hi Optimism

This is one of the most difficult aspects of healing pain or any chronic degenerative condition, especially if you've spent a lifetime "pushing it all down".

I've had lots of personal experience with "feeling the emotions" and letting them go. I believe the first step is giving yourself permission to feel the emotional pain that was so difficult to deal with when it was created. Then, when you do "notice" an emotion surfacing, really embrace it, without fear or intervening with your own distraction techniques. You said yourself that you have no pain when you notice your feelings - that's the key - letting yourself feel the feelings. This, of course, means crying if the feeling is sadness, or screaming, etc. if the emotion is one of anger. Anger, by the way, is the root of all repressed negative emotions.

Months ago, someone on this forum gave a wonderful resource about emotions and how to feel, understand, and release them. I followed up on this, and it was the best information I have read. Check it out:
Mary Kurus, a Canadian Vibrational Consultant

Hope this helps. And thank you so much to the person who suggested this link. She's "on the money".

Many blessings

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