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 Fighting to get my life back
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valwantsherlifeback

USA
1 Posts

Posted - 02/27/2018 :  10:17:38  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have been struggling with TMS on and off my whole life but have really been duking it out for the last several years. I had a hard run of it with a gnarly divorce, years of 12-14 hour work days, and then a car accident in '09 that was the icing on the cake. My bomb proof body finally started acting out all my emotional, repressed so I could go on, pain. I discovered Dr. Sarno a couple years ago and like many, saw myself on every page. I an certain I have TMS, however, and unable to get rid of it. I have a background in Fitness and know quite a bit about the body, which is to my detriment. I have have given up my gym, moved to a new state, and was hopeful the change in my life would help me to de-stress and heal. But, all I do is worry about healing and worry about the fact that I am still not working, yada yada yada. It's a vicious cycle. My pain pattern is consistent but odd. I can sometimes barely walk, but I can climb, am learning how to snowboard, (usually take some Excedrin for pain), and go up and down in pain levels. Sometimes my shoulders hurt, sometimes my knees, it just roams thru my body but the hip thing is pretty consistant which began primarily with low back pain. I don't want to go thru the medical hoops again, because, just like my low back, they will find a host of 'degenerative changes' that just reinforce my worry and don't mean squat in reality. For a long time after I was told I needed back surgery, my back pain went completely away before returning again. How could that be based on what I was told? TMS. Right when I think I'm beating it, I get worse. Then I think its the TMS fighting to stay, but it never gives up. Ive had the majority of typical TMS pains there could possibly be, from Reynaulds, to a Neuroma, to neck, back, hip, leg, arm pain, etc. Im exhausted from living like this. I've done quite a bit of seeing various therapist and I've journaled and tried to ignore it but its so hard. I wake up and the first thing I think about is how much is it going to hurt today? Am I better, same worse? Typical TMS obsession and I know Im supposed to ignore it but its so difficult when Im limping along. This has really ****ed with my head as I was a very successful gym owner/trainer for 29 years. I want my life back. I am hoping someone can give me some encouragement or advice or something to help me get over this bs. I need an official seal of "Yes, you've got TMS from a TMS expert to get me out of my doubt, but not so easy to find in Colorado and Im running out of money. MORE STRESS. Please....any words of encouragement, advice, would be appreciated. Thanks...

valerie anne poulos

lguy421

USA
1 Posts

Posted - 04/19/2018 :  11:54:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi
I find journaling is not enough but I do it in a very certain way to relieve pain. I have to forgive if I have anger, or instill confidence if I sense fear.
1) If I have pain, I ask myself ďWhat repressed anger or fear am I facing?Ē
2) Then I write down ďI am angry at so n so for etc.Ē or ďI am afraid of going to work because I have to face so n soĒ . Etc, etc, But I do a mind sweep and get all the negative thoughts onto my digital notes.
3)For Anger: I write why Iím sad for that person for not being able to understand or that they didnít realize they did something. Iím a Christian and I recognize many here may not be. But I personally pray for help to forgive. Then I repeat to my subconscious self ďIím angry at so n so... Iím sad for them because... So I forgive themĒ (and really mean it).
4) If Iím afraid I write it out then usually remember an encouraging statement that takes away my fear. As a Christian I like Ps 23:4†Though I walk in the valley of deep shadow,I fear no harm,For you are with me;Your rod and your staff reassure me.Ē That helps me. It wonít for others, so it goes, free country, they can find something that truly inspires confidence, or a reason why they arenít afraid and repeat it internally.
5) I delete my digital journal everyday. (Process them if I need to). I found when I would see old notes it would keep bringing up negative feelings.
6) I Spend 15-20 min each day on the Sarno 12 facts (or whatever itís called)
7) I face my fears within reason: I ďinjuredĒ (not really ... it was TMS during extreme stressful time in life) myself trying to dunk a basketball. Yesterday I went back to the same place and gradually worked to the point where I could palm the ball and hit the rim (1 week after being out of work for a month for TMS back pain)
8) When I face a negative thought or social situation I go lay down and do this. And sometimes I listen to a Sarno audiobook.

Be prepared for repetition from me here:
You can write:
Iím afraid the pain will never go away. Then journal that, but instill confidence then delete the note.
I fear how much it is going to hurt today. Then journal that, but instill confidence then delete the note.
I fear this isnít really TMS. Then journal that, but instill confidence then delete the note.
Im afraid Iíll never get my life back.Then journal that, but instill confidence then delete the note.
Iím afraid no one can help me. Then journal that, but instill confidence then delete the note.
Iím angry at myself for not letting me heal???(I donít know, just an example...)Then journal that, but find reasons to forgive yourself, then really forgive yourself, then delete the note. Goes for other people too.

Hope it helpful. Once again, if your not religious, fine, find support a different way perhaps. :)

A nice point from Sarno interview on YouTube: ďImagine the 6 year old version of you. Now reach down and hug them and look them in the eye and say... We can be friends.

I had to do this to my self for multiple ages.

Sorry if blunt :)
LG

Edited by - lguy421 on 04/19/2018 12:03:01
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