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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 04/24/2007 : 21:06:38
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My dog KC was discharged from the hospital after 10 days on IV's and strong pain meds for pancreatitis..It is great to have him home and he was so happy to see us and get out of that hospital..
He is still, however, healing and has to be on 3 different oral medications and one injection under the skin one time per day..Suddenly I am a vet! I am happy he is home, scared because he doesn't want to eat that super bland food he must have, scared because the doctor said it can happen again and we will have to watch him very carefully..I am so overwhelmed I cannot even begin to explain it..I feel so many different feelings at the same time and the TMS is in full swing..
I am sad, fearful, feeling guilty about what my roommate and I did when we ever gave him human food that caused this in the first place...I have a headache on the top of my head and the front..My chest is tight, I just cannot relax..I know better..I know i must hold it together for him..And when i am directly in his presence, I am upbeat and positive..but it's an act..I am devastated that he may never be the same again and won't rest til he eats normally and gets through the first week being home..He has repeat blood tests next Tuesday..
This whole experience is kicking up issues about mortality and the intense fear of completely losing my mind when my dogs do actually die..I feel like giving up..The depression i feel right now is so deep, I don't know what to do w/ myself..I am going to have to spend all my time watching him and caring for him..which is fine..I love him with all my heart..But I had hopes he would be doing even better by the time he came home..
The vet said it could take weeks or even months for him to be back to himself again..I am just out of my mind right now and I need help and encouragement..How can i function in this world when my animals get sick and eventually die...Somehow, I managed to be on the road singing the other times i have lost my pets in the past..To see him sick and suffering, etc...right b4 my eyes is too much to bare..Yet, I have no choice but to do everything in my power to support his complete recovery..The whole thing has been such a nightmare and continues to be..I know i have to claim his healing and think more positively..but i don't know what to do to toughen myself up...
On top of that, I feel trapped here in Vegas..Like i will never be able to move home to NY/NJ...I usually turn to God during times like this and i am sure i will later..RIght now I am waiting for the vet to call because i cannot get him to eat...We are boiling boneless, skinless chicken (per the vet's idea) to put a little in his food so he can eat and take his meds..My roomie is going to have to adminster the injection in the AM..There is no way i can stick him with a needle..
Guess i am hoping for someone to say something to help me snap out of this and feel more hopeful..
Thanx for listening,
Karen |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 04/25/2007 11:54:53 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2007 : 22:38:06
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Thank you shortcake,
It helps alot to be understood and I am very grateful to you..I wil be re-reading what you wrote..You are exactly like me..I cannot watch anything at all on TV that shows an animal suffering, I lose my mind..I wish I could get a frontal lobotomy so i wouldn't feel so much...When I hit a bird accidentally, I lost it..I saved KC's life by being totally on top of noticing the slightest changes and getting him the help he needed..I coordinated everything..Moved him from hospital to hospital..spent hours doing research..Asking a million and one questions to 5 different vets..I took over and did well with all that...But this part,,,injections, meds forced in his mouth cuz he won't eat, etc...is Torture for me..literally..It's like if we all made our own perfect hell,,this would be mine..This is worse then a breakup or even dealing w/ friends being sick..I know you understand..I feel like a basket case..I held myself together better then my roomie/bro and got the job down..but now this part i am finding impossible to do..and I am so scared..This feels like so much pressure and it's such an ordeal to be separating the dogs, etc..to be monitoring water and watching KC"s every move to make sure he doesnt vomit..
I don't even know if he got the entire pill, one of them..He kept spitting it out and part of it disentegrated...The perfectionist, extremely detailed, organizer in me is going nuts..I took a valium which i very rarely ever do becaues i am a naturalist..I had them from when i was totally incapacitated w/ neck and knee issues for months last year..I took them on the worst nights to sleep..I am starting to feel it, but what am i going to do all day alone here tomorrow caring for both dogs...My roomie will help b4 work but why i feel i cannot do this, i do not know..I have to do it, i have no choice..But if he doesn't recover all the way or has a relapse i don't know what i am going to do..I must sound insane..Thank you so much for understanding me and not judging me..
I resent the fact that I seem to always be the stronger one, even in my closest relationship with males in my life..ie..my boyfriend and my roomie/brother...They cry so easily and i hold it all in and eat over it!
I think i am having a delayed reaction to the past 2 weeks of holding everything and everyone one together..story of my life, even in my family..Everyone calls me and relys on me for emotional support...I have a couple of deep, close friends that do that for me, thank God..Well, i think the valium is taking effect...Don't want to do another tomorrow because the last thing i need is to become addicted to valium!
Drop me a line sometime peezly@hotmail.com You are such a kind soul and perhaps i can help you with the heart skipping symptoms you are having..I have direct experience wtih that as i mentioned in the other post..
Hugs and God bless you,
Karen |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 06:19:30
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Hi Karen
I am sorry to hear of the trouble of your dog, but I feel compelled to express my opinion which is based not on any kind of harshness or unkindess but on real genuine compassion for the animal. It was part of my upbringing that if a pet were suffering in such a manner that the decision would be made to put the pet to sleep in a humane way. The animal feels no pain at all when this is done. I know it seems harsh but the alternative is that the pet suffers agonizing torment and I know you don't want to see that either. We had to put two dogs under in the past and I know it is not easy, but in the long run- at least in my opinion - it is the most humane thing to do.
When you know the exact time when the pet will pass on you can brace yourself and also know that you had the pet's best interest at heart.
Shawn
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Sarno-ize it!
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 08:05:29
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Hi Shawn,
The suffering he is in is temporary, just like when we get sick for a few weeks with a flu..He will heal and is healing every day..It would be completely inappropriate to put him to sleep for something that has potential to heal and bring him back to being a healthy doggie w/ a potential weakness for this happening in the future..Different if it were something terminal or unfixable like cancer, for example..I know you are trying to help, but it is the wrong advice not only based on our feelings/thoughts but also every vet he has..He will and is getting better..It's just tough right now..He is only 8 or 9 and very healthy and happy otherwise..His tail is up and he's glad to be home..I was just very overwhelmed last night because he has one more week of all these meds, etc..I feel calmer about it today..
Hugs,
Karen |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 08:09:53
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Karen
Since you wrote pages and pages about your sick dog I was led to believe that the dog was on death's door and that was the cause of your distress. Now you say it is a temporary malidy from which your dog will soon recover. I am glad to hear that your dog will be ok.
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Sarno-ize it!
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 08:27:58
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Karen,
I had a feeling you were depressed based on your recent posts, which is understandable. This brings to mind the little discussion we had re my statements that most of us will die painful deaths, and that in the human world and the pet world alike, there are no such things as happy endings...Some may want to make light of losing a pet, but every animal I've lost has increased by general sadness at the predicament in which we all find ourselves. Each and every one of them has taken a toll.
I guess this is where religion comes in. You believe in God, so that seems to be a good way to cope with these issues. For those of us who do not, things are even dicier...
My general philosophy is to try to enjoy life just as much as I can, while I can. It doesn't last long.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 09:54:22
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Shawn,
Thank you..I wrote pages and pages (which is a bit of an exaggeration) because I am GOING NUTS with STRESS and FEAR over this..and now my neck is freaking out...I just had to try to pill him, meaning force 2 pills down his throat..I am all alone here and it didn't work..He vomited and now he won't eat..I am not a VET and this is so stressful i want to scream..I am waiting for the nurse to call back, for the third time..We didn;t dilute one of the other meds enough which caused the vomiting..Pancreatitis is serious and can be fatal..that is WHY I wrote alot about it..But..He can heal too and have a normal life..He is still not out of the acute phase..
Art,
Thank you..This is one of the worst things i have ever dealt with..I have to bring him back to the hospital right now for them to give him his medications and give me more injectible meds for him because i cannot get him to swallow the pills...Now i am afraid i hurt my neck bending over too much and everything is tightening up..I am so upset i just cannot take it anymore..I want to cry and I cannot..I am just so scared and overwhelmed with all this.. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 11:45:29
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One good thing that comes out of these kinds of emergency situations is that much of the noise goes away..I'll bet you found yourself focusing much less on Karen and her aches and pains when this thing was at its height..That's something we TMS/hypos can all learn from..
I've a good feeling your doggie's going to be ok...Same feeling I have about you...Just give yourself a chance.. |
Edited by - art on 04/25/2007 11:46:06 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 11:53:48
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I just brought KC home from the hospital..They showed me how to give him a pill..My roommate is going to take the next two days off (vacation time) to help me with the injections, meds, etc..It is a 24/7 full time job..I am not complaining, I want to help him heal..it is just way harder then I imagined on so many levels..I suppose once we all get through this we will be stronger then ever b4..
I am worried now about my neck..probably TMS..
I had to bend way over and I didn't feel anything at the time, but once in the past that i bent over the next day i was set back for weeks w/ neck and neuro symptoms..I am VERY at risk for TMS to kick it up many notches and I am trying to nip this in the bud and not let my brain use this crisis as an opportunity to torture me again..
I am telling myself over and over, I am not that fragile..I can bend over with my head dangling like normal people..This won't lead to what it did in the past..Any encouraging words would be greatly appreciated..I am just not cut out to be a vet nurse, but i have no choice and maybe physically i will find i can bend more then i thought when i have to..I just need to think/feel something positive about all this..The most postive thing, however, is for KC to heal 100 percent..This has made me question whether i will ever have animals again once my 2 dogs are in Dog heaven..I don't know if i could deal w/ something like this again..and my basset is 12 years old!..My spirituality/religion helps me, absolutely..but not completely..I am still PETRIFIED of losing my dogs, other loves ones, and ultimately dying myself..
I feel like such a weakling for falling apart like this..I have got to get a grip somehow..I am not letting my dogs see me crazy but they probalby pick up on it anyway..I don't know anyone who loves animals as much as me, and so this is my worst nightmare come true..I suppose if i was married w/ human children or had my parents back or a sane sibling that would help..My neice is helping and so is my boyfriend...but usually i am helping the 2 of them..I don't want to beat myself up for coming back to this forum sooner either..I took a short break,,but now isn't the time to close any doors of support..thanx for listening..sorry it so long.. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 12:35:35
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Thanks Art.. Soo appreciate the encouragement right now..You are right..during the high level crisis I couldn't care less about my aches and pains and didn't focus on them..My roomie/bro is taking a couple of vaca days to help me out tomorrow and the next day..doing this all alone is even worse..KC can't eat anymore today, but tomorrow we can try again..I have a feeling he will be okay too,,but the fear isn't sure..It is severe pancreatitis and the after care is intense..I suppose once we all get through it we will all be stronger for it..
Hugs,
Karen |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2007 : 14:11:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
Thanks Art.. Soo appreciate the encouragement right now..You are right..during the high level crisis I couldn't care less about my aches and pains and didn't focus on them..My roomie/bro is taking a couple of vaca days to help me out tomorrow and the next day..doing this all alone is even worse..KC can't eat anymore today, but tomorrow we can try again..I have a feeling he will be okay too,,but the fear isn't sure..It is severe pancreatitis and the after care is intense..I suppose once we all get through it we will all be stronger for it..
Hugs,
Karen
Hugs right back atcha... |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2007 : 05:33:49
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| My beloved "soul cat" Darla, my child, now gone for two years had diabetes and pancreatitis as well as hepatic lipidosis (fatty liver) for three years. I had to give her insulin injections twice a day, feed a special diet and give sub q fluids (IV bag) once a month or more when she got into crisis vomiting. You CAN do the needle. It is easier once you do it a few times. I know you love your dog as much as I loved my cat so my suggestion is stop telling yourself you can't. If this were your human child you would muster up the courage. Tell yourself you CAN give the needle and you will, lovingly. As far as the diet, you will find that the strict guidelines on diet the vets suggest don't do much to improve pancreatitis. It will pass. After I learned the ropes I never deprived Dalra of a good meal.I modified the choices of food so they were leaner but not much else. I found a few months into this disease that I was her best judge of her overall well being and I kept her going for a long time as a purring, content happy cat on my own and with lots of support from a forum similar to this one in format at www.felinediabetes.com. The folks there can help with cat and dog advice on pancreatitis, not just diabetes, because they tend to go hand in hand with animals. You must tell yourself a new story, starting with affirming the positive, not encouraging negatives.Good luck! You CAN do this. And this too shall pass. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2007 : 07:59:17
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Thanx so much Maryalma,
Sorry to hear about your kitty...Sounds like you were also a dedicated mom..:)
I really needed to hear what you shared with me..Especially the part about her living for 3 years after that..Did she have to be hospitalized w/ no food or water for awhile too? If so,how long b4 she was home and had an appetite back...
My roommate has been doing the needles and I do basically everything else..He took off the next two days so i am not alone doing all this..
The needle isn't even as hard as putting the pill down his mouth, roomie agrees..I am going to try doing the needle myself today so i get the experience of it, in case he can't do it for some reason..I guess i don't have enough faith i will do it right and believe he will do it better..If we mess up, we don't have extra needles..Pills are another story, we have plenty of those..I am coordinating everything else, his chart, speaking to vets, offering food/water, etc..It's been a full time thing for weeks now..You know all about it..
Because he vomited yesterday AM again he couldn't have food again til this morning...I had to give him a pill inside a tiny piece of chicken and unfortunately he kept spitting the pill out..and i am sure it tasted bad..Then he didn't want the food anymore..I thought it would be better then prying his mouth open and forcing the pill down,,he hates that..We have a whole regime and I am doing my best to keep it together mentally/emotionally for him..I don't mean to complain, it's just scary and overwhelming..He's only been home a couple of days and I had to bring him back for a check up to hospital after he threw up yesteday..I don't want him back there on IV's again..I just had no idea there would be this much aftercare..He was there for 10 days and lost alot of weight..The whole thing has just been heartbreaking..I know i have to think more positive and I am..My basset who is 12 needs her spirits kept up as well..
Thanks again..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 04/26/2007 08:21:35 |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2007 : 09:38:48
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| She was in acute/critical condition and was hospitalized a few times. She was never off food for very long. IV is good to keep from dehydrating but I eventually learned to do it myself at home. Again, my cat had 3 issues going on all through the 3 years. The needle is simple. You have to get over the fear. Even my idiot brother who hates cats did it no problem. Visit the web site I sent you and you'll find a wealth of info. |
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LitaM
Canada
54 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2007 : 10:35:12
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Karen,
I'm so sorry, but you must keep strong, your dog can feel your fear. You need to be strong for him, fake it till you make it. I wish that I had something really profound to say, just take it one minute at a time. You know that your pain is TMS, so talk to that brain. Best Wishes.
Lita |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2007 : 12:07:02
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Thanx Maryalma..KC was in acute/critical condition just this once and was without any food (only IV's) for 9 days..That is why we are so worried about administering the meds properly..One of the injections is for anti vomiting and is essential..The issue isn't me giving the needle or not..My roomie has now gotten the hang of it..I am going to do it later today just to learn it..But as i mentioned, I am doing all the other things which are actually harder then the needle..more upsetting to my baby too..I will visit that website for sure..I was up all night taking care of him..He just ate a tiny bit,thank God..Appreciate your writing..
Thanx so much Lita..
I have not allowed KC to see me in fear..I am a good actress..I am only upbeat and happy around him, I know how aware doggies are of our emotions...The freaking out happens alone in my room or when KC is outside in the yard,having gone thru the doggie door..
Hugs to you both,
Karen |
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cfhunter
119 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2007 : 18:01:32
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Hi Karen~
I have to honestly say that while I didn't read every post in this thread I get thet jest of the situation with your dog. May I just say this: I mentioned before in another post I am highly involved in animal welfare work and have many of my own pets I have loved and lost. I have had to euthanize 4 of them in the last 4 years...b/c I loved them and their conditions were BEYOND mending. The thing is this: It is GOOD that your dog is healing and the chances are good that he will have a decent quality of life again. It just may be a little rough getting to that point....but he will. The other thing is that when the time comes for him to pass on (whether it be weeks or years from now) it will be okay. YOU will be okay. The main point is to trust that your vet will be HONEST with you about his condition and his well being (ask them to be if you have to), that you have open communication about your stability with this situation and that you want to be there when the time comes to make the decision IF it comes down to that. You KNOW that death for us all is inevitable. Your dog is depending on YOU to make a good decision for him. The RIGHT decision for him IF you have to. Just be confident that you are already making good choics for his health, that you love him and care for him deeply and that he KNOWS you do. Believe me...he KNOWS you are doing everything you can because you love him. So why would the end be any different.
Relax about this b/c no matter how hard you stress out or how much you worry you can't change the outcome. Period.
So why not just try as hard as you can to truly take a deep breath...sit down with him and just relax.
No matter what happens...YOU will survive it. when he dies you reach out to friends and family and you grieve him and you honor him and give him dignity by moving on to adopt another needy animal when you are ready.
Heaven is alllll about our loved ones and that includes our animals.
Take a peek at my local papers article from yesterday. I think you will find peace in it.
Best wishes-Carmen
"Without animal souls, it's not really Heaven
I love watching the old Twilight Zone series, one of the best TV shows ever written. This classic always deftly and creatively exposed the two dueling facets of human nature: good and evil.
I'm also a Stephen King fan, and I'd bet much of his inspiration came from the series.
In one of my favorite episodes, an old man and his hunting dog drown and wake up on "the other side." As they walk along a country road, they come upon a handsome young man near a sign pointing the way to Heaven. The smiling guide welcomes the old man, but tells him he can't bring his dog into Heaven.
The man, as loyal to his dog as his dog is to him, says he doesn't want to go if his dog can't come along.
They leave and continue down the road. Eventually they come upon another man and find the true path to Heaven, where his dog is warmly welcomed.
The first place was actually Hell.
God is always testing us, and the old man passed the test. Anyone who'd leave behind a loyal companion would never be worthy of Heaven.
I was raised a Christian, but it disturbs me that many Christian denominations teach that animal spirits aren't worthy of Heaven.
Now, why in the world would the God who created a miraculous, unending universe, NOT have room for creatures he himself created?
That makes no sense.
Of course, I've often been told that one shouldn't question, but I suspect the reason for that is because those who don't question are easier to control.
In the Bible, God says, "Let us reason together." He gave us a brain, so I'd expect he'd want us to use it.
Some will say the Bible doesn't specifically say animals go to Heaven. It doesn't say they don't either.
But remember, the Bible was written for humans, not animals. It was penned for a human race that sinned. Because animals never sinned, they don't need salvation.
Animals are what God intended them to be, so if you ask me, God is probably a lot more pleased with them than most of us.
Let's consider what the Bible says about creation. Genesis 1:30 says, "And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life (soul), I have given every green plant for food."
It seems God created us as vegetarians. It was only after humans got booted from Eden that they began eating flesh, sacrificing it and covering themselves with it.
So, if you think about it, animals were the first representation of Christ — something that had to die to "cover" man's sin.
I once belonged to a church where the minister gave an entire sermon about dogs. He talked about his brother's death and his brother's loyal little dog, Trixie.
At that time, funeral services often took place at home. Some family members wanted to keep Trixie out, but their mother insisted the dog stay, as she was the boy's beloved companion. After he was buried, Trixie spent the rest of her days lying on her boy's grave.
Such stories aren't that rare. Who could dismiss the spiritual connection we have with animals and doubt their inclusion in the next life?
God is big enough to encompass the spirits of all living things. It's we humans who are often too small to ponder a bigger picture.
So don't ever let anyone tell you animals have no place in Heaven, because, as the writers of the Twilight Zone knew, it really wouldn't be Heaven without them.
Sandy Britt lives with three dogs, two cats and one husband and writes about life with pets on her blog, "Pet People," found at www.theleafchronicle.com.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/27/2007 : 18:58:58
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Dear Carmen,
AMEN to every single word you wrote...We couldn't agree more as fellow Christians on how the Lord views animals! I really really needed to hear what you wrote to me...I was just in deep prayer for healing w/ a friend from Virginia for my KC...We prayed, we cried and I feel his complete restoration is on the way...You have no idea how much you just helped me..I am sitting here crying tears of gratitude to you for taking the time to send such a comforting letter..I, too, love the Twilight Zone, Rod Serling was a GENIUS!
As far as I am concerned, animals..especially DOGS are the most perfect creation of God..They know unconditional love and loyalty like we probably never could...I could tell you incredible stories about all the amazing senses that dogs have and most people don't believe it is possible..There is a reason the word "Dog" is "God" spelled backwards!!!
You can be SURE dogs go to Heaven..And if there is a sort of neighborhood, separate Heaven for dogs and other animals THAT is the Heaven I want to go to...Did you see the Beautiful movie "What Dreams May Come.." The scene when Robin Williams meets his beloved doggie in Heaven?? I cried my eyes out!
Pancreatitis is slow to heal but can heal completely...We take him out on walkies and for rides in the car now every time we have to give him an injection, a pill or anything unpleasant..And his tail goes up and he is grateful..He vomited a little bile once today so we cannot feed him until 5AM, another 12 hours..I soooooo wish I could explain to my baby WHY i have to withhold food from him again..If he vomits more then twice in a 24 hour period, he will be back in the hospital on IV's..One of my vets said he is a very strong doggie and wants to be around for us...If he pulled through this long, he will make it and lead a healthy normal life again! He is also a Christian and so he told me that i have to CLAIM KC's healing..Not just PRAY but CLAIM it by FAITH! Fear is the opposite of Faith and Satan wants us to stay in FEAR...I am learning so much through all this...It is exactly what my own Hell would be...but once I get thru the other side...we will all be stronger for it...
I am going to read and re-read your beautiful and empathetic letter to me..Thank you so much...BTW, I am a big time animal rights activist too...If you care to chat sometime via regular email my addy is peezly@hotmail.com
God bless your wonderful heart,
Karen |
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TMS, neck, &my dog
