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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
 Posted - 05/02/2007 : 12:20:36
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I thought it interesting to see this comment from an article on ScientificAmerican.com about patients who get psychiatric therapy having more success if they can move the focus away from how they feel physically to their mental and intrapersonal state.
"There's also mounting evidence that people who can focus strongly on interpersonal issues during therapy are most likely to be helped by it, Frank noted. People who don't do as well tend to have more anxiety and physical complaints, she added, which may make it more difficult to move the focus away from how they feel physically to their mental and intrapersonal state."
SOURCE: American Journal of Psychiatry, May 2007.
The rest of the article doesn't really pertain to TMS--it's about having maintenance therapy once a month after a patient recovers from depression, but I'll put the link here in case anyone wants to read the article.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?alias=monthly-therapy-keeps-dep&chanId=sa003&modsrc=reuters |
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Woodchuck
USA
111 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 12:29:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Littlebird
I thought it interesting to see this comment from an article on ScientificAmerican.com about patients who get psychiatric therapy having more success if they can move the focus away from how they feel physically to their mental and intrapersonal state.
"There's also mounting evidence that people who can focus strongly on interpersonal issues during therapy are most likely to be helped by it, Frank noted. People who don't do as well tend to have more anxiety and physical complaints, she added, which may make it more difficult to move the focus away from how they feel physically to their mental and intrapersonal state."
SOURCE: American Journal of Psychiatry, May 2007.
The rest of the article doesn't really pertain to TMS--it's about having maintenance therapy once a month after a patient recovers from depression, but I'll put the link here in case anyone wants to read the article.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?alias=monthly-therapy-keeps-dep&chanId=sa003&modsrc=reuters
That's very interesting about the "physical complaints". Thanks for posting this!
Woodchuck |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 12:51:34
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| The power of the mind is amazing. I read a story in a local paper about a guy who was told 11 years ago that he had some form of cancer that couldn't be treated and only had 3 months to live. He refused to accept it and underwent treatment and fought it mentally, focusing entirely on the positive. 11 years later and he has defied all odds and is still alive. Whilst the treatment he had could have helped, I'm sure that his mental strength and positivity must have been a major contributing factor. Some people would have just given up and accepted that they were going to die. |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 19:33:35
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Speaking of feelings, it makes me terrifically sad and overwhelmed to think of how cut off most folks are from their emotions. We need to really heal this culture of withdrawal from the heart and soul. I'm really frustrated that it's taken recovering from TMS to understand really basic things about my emotions.
As an early childhood teacher I'm really trying to give this understanding to my students so they won't wind up medicated and depressed as grownups. And hopefully with the values so they won't want to SELL people those medications, too! |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 05/02/2007 : 20:26:39
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Gemma Louise, that's an interesting cancer story. My mom always believed in the power of positive thinking and mentally fighting health problems. She developed an aggressive form of uterine cancer which couldn't be treated because of heart and liver problems (which were caused by long-term obesity and alcohol abuse; I guess her positive thinking couldn't overcome everything), but without treatment she lived significantly longer than the average patient who did receive treatment. (Mom lived about 30 months compared to only 9 months on average for patients with this type of cancer who got treatment.) What was interesting to me was that she had developed dementia before being diagnosed with cancer, so she wasn't really fighting the cancer mentally, she just kept forgetting that she had it. I've often wondered how things would have turned out if she hadn't had the dementia. She was also not expected to survive the heart and liver problems for anywhere near as long as she did. And she was aware of those problems. The brain's power is remarkable.
Carbar, if you'd have time to share some of what you tell the children to help them avoid becoming cut off from their emotions, I'd be most interested in hearing about it. I'm wondering how much of my habit of repressing/suppressing my son has learned and how I might help to undo that. I actually used to express anger more easily in my first marriage and thought that was part of the reason it fell apart, so I made a real effort the second time to suppress and avoid conflict, which my husband also does. He also has some of the same TMS type symptoms that I have, so I think our conflict avoidance hasn't really helped our relationship as much as we expected it to. We'd have been better off if we could have expressed some of the anger that's bound to come up in any relationship in a reasonable manner instead of stifling it and pretending things were always fine. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2007 : 08:37:14
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quote:
We'd have been better off if we could have expressed some of the anger that's bound to come up in any relationship in a reasonable manner instead of stifling it and pretending things were always fine.
Yep. Having grown up with parents who did this, it is not a good thing for the adults or the kids in the long run. My parents are separated and I am having to learn quite basic things about emotions at 25.
I'm still learning what it was I didn't get, but help expressing anger in healthy ways (verbally, or by energetic but nonviolent physical action) and reassurance and validation (reminder of unconditional love and okayness) when feeling sad or angry or after making a mistake would be the biggest ones I know of at the moment.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2007 : 09:49:33
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Perhaps a more compassionate look at parenting is in order here, if for no other reason than to ease a hot TMS issue.
True, some parents don't do a very good job. On the other hand, children don't come with an owner's manual, nor can you apply a specific formula and be guaranteed of a predetermined outcome. They aren't a chip off the old block either. They are uniquely, sometimes incomprehensibly...themselves.
We've probably all said we aren't going to make the same mistakes our parents made, and then we end up doing exactly that. Sometimes we screw up even worse. The thing is, even without getting into extremes such as deliberate abusiveness, mistakes are always going to happen because life is meant to be a learning experience and our parents are no less human than we are. |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2007 : 21:53:42
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Thanks for the thought-provoking post and questions, LB and Carbar!
Here are a few thoughts on parenting and TMS. (Few ... LOL!!!! Yes, an essay from Penny ;o) I have 2 little girls, ages 5 and 4, and it has been imperative to me that they do not prevent themselves from really feeling their emotions, good bad and ugly. I have learned so much by watching how their little bodies and spirits actually process what us grownups call "negative" emotions. It's remarkable how transient emotions naturally can be, if we let them flow. How my daughters can go from states of relaxation to rage in nanoseconds, and then shortly afterwards return to balance and stillness. Seeing how they do this naturally has been a gift for me, and paradoxically created an overwhelming responsibility and sense of duty to provide a unconditional and loving environment to help them preserve this innate gift. (Yes, TMS source!)
When my girls get upset or express primal rage (I feel jealous that they can go there so easily) I give them a safe place to release, and often stay with them to assure them that even though it's unpleasant to experience such things, it is nothing to be ashamed of as long as they don't act violently towards themselves or others (hence "safe place"). I don't encourage such outbursts, but I definitely don't make them suppress. Afterwards we often talk about the "anger monster" or "frustration monster" and where it came from, and then we talk about where he went (up a tree, in the woods), so they can see the "negative" energy doesn't stay with them. I got this idea from Eckhart Tolle. Now they point out to me when I get the "frustration monster" too ... it's rather amusing and profoundly healing to be taught by my girls. I like to say I'm re-learning everything I thought I knew about the world through them.
The TMS gremlin that visits me is spawned by many things, but possibly deeply rooted in my concern for my girls and that they could possibly end up with TMS or need a a doctor everytime they have a pain or some physical discomfort. That is how I was until a year ago (before TMS 101). Now it takes a heck of a lot to stop me from repudiating my pword, but still it happens and they unfortunately bare witness. It's dreadful and I know I still have a lot of therapy to go thru to uncover my the roots about my girls being bullied, or ignored, or disillusioned ... all my own unresolved fears. I want the inbred-ingrained-TMS-family-tradition to STOP with me!
The other day, my daughter asked me what she should do if someone was mean to her: I was deer-in-the-headlights-stunned. I realized that what I was telling her to do was completely different than what I have done for myself all my life. I told her to tell the other person how it made her feel, and tell the person not to do that, and to get away from the person and maybe even tell a grown up. MY RULES? Suck it up and smile, bow your head, and try not to show disapproval. "How's that workin' for ya, Penn????" LOL! I was never taught how to defend myself. Somehow I was less important or significant than those imposing their beliefs on me. Cathartic!
Another thing we do is to talk about the emotions I was denied as a child. Not at all in those terms, but if I see they are obsessed with a friend's toy, later we talk about what jealousy is, and that it's ok to feel jealous. Or if they get angry, we talk about anger and how it makes our bodies feel. I'm still discovering all the emotions I've disengaged from, but this is fascinating to me and again healing to be able to acknowledge these feelings and see how they use them naturally in their precious day-to-day.
I'd love to hear what other parents are doing to help your children to try to break the cycle.
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2007 : 22:57:05
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Wow, Penny. You are teh awesome. Your girls are very lucky.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2007 : 22:10:54
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Wow. Penny, I'm interested in the monster imagery, thanks for sharing that.
Umm, really briefly, some points:
When my students have a conflict, the first thing they are encouraged to do is say "I don't like it when...." and that ... could be anything from "you use the blocks" to "you hit me" A lot of times the kids just want to hear "sorry" from a friend or work out a sharing compromise. Other times it's trickier when feelings are hurt, usually from a misunderstanding.
Constantly validating negative emotions, particularly when "discipling". saying, "It's okay to feel say, I respect that you feel sad, but it is not okay to hurt someone when you are sad."
Also, letting kids know when they let you down. I'm disappointed that you told a story about taking that necklace. It made me angry when you hit your friend. I don't like when a friend [what I call my students] get hurt.
Offering kids a brainstorming session of what to do when you are mad to calm down when they are NOT mad. They could make a list of things that are acceptable. You can stomp your feet, hit a pillow, talk to a friend, read a book...etc.
PS -- ACL I totally agree with your post. I grew up in a house where there was a complete supression/respression of all emotion. So even fun and love were in short supply in my house. Please parents tell your kids you love them just the way they are, just for being them. You don't have to tell them they are smart or special, just say I love you! and really mean it. Look in their eyes and hold them tight and say it as much as you can! |
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Comment from article about depression and physical
