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seimon_23
United Kingdom
17 Posts |
 Posted - 10/19/2008 : 12:26:18
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Have any other posters had any experience of people they work with being the catalyst for their TMS flaring up? I work in a very small office (there are only 5 people making up the whole company) and a particular colleague of mine has pretty much annoyed the hell out of me since I started working there 5 years ago.
Of course, I've worked with people I didn't like before but that was at bigger firms where I had the luxury of working somewhere else out of their orbit. Where I am now, it's just one, small, open plan office so there's nowhere to get away from her.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever met anyone who irritates me more. Her work is sloppy; I'm constantly having to do jobs that she can't / wont do and she complains about everything all day long. Of course, this inflames my perfectionist attitude to work and I some times leave the office practically grinding my teeth with rage. My boss and other work mates are well aware of the situation and actually sympathise to a degree but, she's so close to retirement now that it would be too expensive / difficult to fire her.
I've tried approaching her professionally about the constant mistakes but, whatever I say just goes in one ear and straight out of the other. With the 'adult' approach yielding no results, the inner child Id monster just wants to bite her head off but, I can't let it because that will mean loosing my job. It's all very frustrating / enraging and, I'm wondering whether this has acted as a catalyst or trigger for my TMS? Obviously, the way I'm feeling has deeper roots and taps into my fear of confrontation and probably other neuroses as well; I'd just be interested to know if anyone else has had a similar experience (and, it's nice to get things off my chest!) |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 10/19/2008 : 19:13:05
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Yes, it is possible. I had someone who annoyed me and realized I had to adjust my attitude toward her. I couldn't count on her changing. I learned to keep quiet when she baited me. It took her awhile to realize I was no longer responding. Has her core person changed? No, but she knows I don't respond anymore so she doesn't say things like she used to.
We cannot change anyone else. We can only adjust ourselves.
And perhaps there is another core issue here? Does she remind you of someone? Some events that happened to you (stuck with someone annoying in the past?)
Since she's close to retiring, there IS an end in sight! 
Best wishes! |
Edited by - mizlorinj on 10/19/2008 19:14:52 |
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HellNY
130 Posts |
Posted - 10/19/2008 : 21:00:00
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Yes,
A very big big yes. A few years ago I was publically attacked (verbally) in the most abusive way by a colleague. This person always tends to fly off teh handle. For whatever reason, rather then making me indignant and willing to confront, there is some part of my psyche that is afraid of this person. Its pathetic - especially for a grown man.
Sometimes my tounge feels like it is on fire when this person gets started. IN fact, whever I feel "threatened," I get burning sensations in my tounge, arms and sometimes my face.
Normally I do not feel these sensations. BUt I do get them when I am threatened.
This is one of the main reasons why I KNOW that pain is a dimension of EMOTION and also why I know I have what we call "TMS"
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Work colleague triggering TMS?
