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42 Posts

Posted - 03/16/2009 :  01:29:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
wow...I never thought I would be writing a success story here any time soon! But now it's my turn and it feels so good! =]

I've actually been about 95% pain free for a few months but It took me awhile to write my story because I was afraid maybe i'd jinx it haha ...yeah I know it's silly.

Well let's see...I am a young 23 year old. I've had tms I believe since I was 17. It started with a BAD case of tmj, I had wisdom teeth surgery WHILE awake =[ and it caused so much trauma to my jaw that it just locked close. I wasn't able to open more than 2-5 kidding. I went through years of treatment with no success, I actually still have one more surgery to go and maybe I will be able to open more. But anywaz =] ...during those years I obviously had horrible jaw pain that started radiating to my neck and upper back. I had HUGE knots all along my neck and back and it hurt to even move. The pain got so bad that I ended up ij the ER numerous times just to get shots of cortisone that did NOTHING. I went to doctors, chiropractors, naturopathics, massage therapists, prolotherapists, acupuncturists, you name it, I've done it. Every single person told me that my tmj was causing all this pain and there was basically nothing I can do about it. I felt devastated. Mostly because I knew there was nothing I could really do about the tmj...not unless I had open joint surgery that would've cost lots of $$$$$$$. I decided to give up on an treatment and starting trying different vitamins, minerals, herbs, trigger point thingies, neck supports, neck massagers, cervical contraptions, back poker things, magnets...ahhh...basically everything you can think of haha. Most of the little money I made went to all these things that never worked. Key word, NEVER. I even took a food allergy test and gave up wheat, soy, milk, cheese, almonds, cranberries, gluten, basically I gave up everything good lol. I would google all day at work trying to find new answers, new gizmos, new diets, anything to give me some relief. Well yeah, and basically you get the picture, none of that worked.

Okay, so fast forward to the age of 21. I've been in constant pain now for 4 years and I finally just decide to give up on all this, I figure none of it is working anywaz, so I might as well enjoy the food I like and stop wasting money on gadgets. A few months go by and I meet a wonderful man, we started dating and within three months my neck and jaw pain disappeared! gone, just like that! It kind of hit me, like, wait? I don't have pain anymore...this is weird. I was so happy, but almost afraid to be happy at the same time because it didn't seem real. I was pain free for about a month and that's when I started getting HORRIBLE back pain. I mean, BAD. it felt like something was literally eating at my back muscles all day and night, I would cry and miss work all the time because I didn't have the strength or will to get up and go. Around this time I met a very kind lady that said she thought she could help me. I came to her house and she started feeling all along my back and neck and said, oh my god girl, you are holding everything in, no wonder you're in so much pain. She said she could actually feel my emotions stored up in my body. I thought wow this woman is crazy! haha ..I've never heard something like this, and I knew without a doubt that something medically was wrong with me. I kind of ignored what she said and went on in pain. A few more months go by and my back pain starts to subside, but my neck pain started coming back and got to the same point it was at before. I was scared to move my head, put clothes on, exercise, I treated my neck like a newborn baby. I stayed like this again for the rest of that year. I was in so much grief and pain that I actually told God that if he didn't take my pain away by the end of that year that I was going to take my own life. I couldn't take it anymore. Here I was, 22 years old, just graduated college, ready to get married and start my life, and I couldn't even get out of bed without severe pain. I didn't want to live the rest of my life that way. At the same time, I didn't want to give up, so I kept searching.

Now, here's the good part =] ...September of last year, I decided to start googling again. Not thinking I would find anything new. I searched for hours and finally came across this one site that talked about "TMS" and how our pain could most likely be due to our emotions. I froze. All I could think of was that lady that told me the same exact thing. I knew that I had to read all about this "TMS" thing and get to the bottom of it. And I did, I read everything about it, I found this forum and read so many stories, I finally found a place where people had success stories. I never found that on any of the other forums. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I ordered all three books of Sarno's right away. I couldn't tell you how excited i was to receive the books, I felt like a little girl waiting for Christmas to come. I finally get the books and I'm just ecstatic. I kid you not, I locked myself in my room and read all three books in that day. I couldn't stop smiling. Every page was about me! I had been through so much in my life. Death of my father, abusive relationships, traumatic experiences. I bottled EVERYTHING inside, I was my mother's caretaker since I was 15 years old and I had to be strong for her. I always felt like I had to be strong for everyone and I became an adult early one. I missed out on so much of my childhood but I still never told anyone I was sad. I acted like everything was okay. And now looking back, I had OCD and anxiety and depression off and on ever since I was 8 years old. I knew I that what I had was tms. No doubt about it. I started journaling and studying and learning about myself. And I was finally getting these things out. Not only did I journal but I started opening up to people in my life, I felt like a huge burden was coming off my back. I still had the pain, but just being able to open up and actually for once NOT be scared of my pain was the most incredible feeling in the world.

Now here it is 6 months later and most of the people on this forum were right...the pain starting decreasing so gradually that I barely noticed it! Finally it hit me one day, I didn't have pain anymore!!! I know I still have a bit to go, because the pain left but now I have weird symptoms in my leg, like heaviness and dull aching. Symptom imperative =]. But that actually makes me happy because I know what it is and I know I have the power to get rid of it, so that's what I'm doing! But just to have all of my neck, jaw and back pain gone is a miracle! For anyone on here that is having doubts, DON'T! TMS is real and you CAN heal yourself!! I thank God everyday that he gave me another chance and let me find Sarno and this forum and everyone that helped me along the way. So don't give up, no matter how bad it gets, don't ever give up.

I could go on for hours, but I wrote so much already =]

I still can't open my jaw, and I am getting surgery in about a month which I'm excited for, but I don't have pain anymore!! I just want to get my jaw opened more =]

Thank you so much for everyone on here, you have no idea how much you have all helped, even indirectly. In a world full of sadness and pain, there is still a chance to heal yourself, our minds are so powerful and not only did I get better physically, I learned about myself and that is such an amazing thing.

Now I can dance again, play with my nieces, exercise, play soccer, basically, be a normal 23 year old girl =]

oh...and one more thing =] ...I definitely feel the need to spread the word for others, I go around and leave flyers on bulletins around town and leave links from my blog leading to this site, even if it could help one person to find the way to a pain free life would mean so much. I just feel so blessed and want everyone to be able to find out about this so no one hd to be in pain if it's tms. It's time to get this out there and let everyone know!! we gotta spread the word people! =D


284 Posts

Posted - 03/16/2009 :  05:35:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Fantastic!!! So happy for you. Thanks for sharing your story.

Enjoy your new life. You deserve it.


In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei
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United Kingdom
878 Posts

Posted - 03/17/2009 :  16:32:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Great, roxy!

Hilary N
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United Kingdom
202 Posts

Posted - 03/30/2009 :  05:11:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Roxy, I'm so happy to hear your story, I am sure it will help lots of people in similar circumstances.
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7 Posts

Posted - 04/18/2009 :  22:50:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
yess, thank you. I'm new to the process, and I feel incredibly inspired by your story that I'm on the right path

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