| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
sanio
USA
4 Posts |
 Posted - 09/15/2009 : 12:17:08
|
Hi everyone,
I want to introduce myself and ask some questions that I havent seen anyone ask before or atleast my search dint show up anything. I am 24 yrs old female who just got married July 10th, pretty exciting? nope not really just 3 weeks into my marriage I developed a severe butt ache! It all started with me and my husband having really rough sex..I have been sexually active for a year now so I dint think that would have caused a problem. Two hours later I had dinner and my stomach hurted to the point where I was in tears. I finally thought maybe I am severely constipated (its normal for me to not go for 5 or 6 days). I dont know why but I decided to take a laxavative. It gave alittle relief by not complete. I felt something was stuck in me and no matter how hard I push it wont come. This started a chain visit to ER and GPs. They started me off with mild laxavatives and then ended up giving me magnesium citrate and even the horrible ocean water tasting 4 gallon water which people are given before surgery. I still believed firmly I had a bowel obstruction. I went to the ER again and they finally did a ct scan. My intestine looked crystal clear! I felt foolish and came back home. That caused me to fear that maybe something broke in my gential area! and I went to the gyno..she said everythign looks fine! I was like oh God maybe its just inflammation and it'll go away..a week later everything cleared up. At that point I dint realize I was alittle stress free. I also went to atlantic city with my husband and friends. I wanted to wait a week before we get back to having sex. on the 7th pain free day we had sex ...the pain was dint come back...then on the 11th pain free day we had sex the 2nd time and the pain came back..(yes okay I was scared that it will)...so now I had developed a fear of having sex...
I kept searching online as I was working on getting insurance. I found tail bone pain and coccydonia. I was like maybe this is it. YES SITTING HURTS..YES STANDING HELPS! i started sitting on homemade cushions and sleeping on my sides instead of my back. Everytime I sit the pain would become severe. But the pain wasnt going away. Then 2 weeks ago I found out about TMS through this forum. I knew I was having anal sphincter or muslce spasms. I thought maybe I am tensed. I noticed within a day or two...I was able to sit , sleep on back and drive my car without much pain. I got about 70% relief in few days. I started journaling 2 days ago. I am more open to people once more ( i dont know i had started closing out to my friends and family right after marriage and only spent time with my husband)...Last night. I started stretching my muscles by my anus...that gives ALOT OF RELIEF for long periods of time. I am trying my best to not think about the pain but as you know all know its hard!
My questions are as follows:
do another females with anal pain or spasms able tp have sex?
do you guys think I have developed the fear of sex that is why its getting worst everytime I try?
Any answers or words of support will help. Thanks everyone! |
|
|
william
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2009 : 12:43:22
|
| I really do not know the answer, but getting married is certainly a major change in anyones life. So try and find a source of fear, sadness or anger triggered off with getting married. |
 |
|
|
hundreth
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 08:36:04
|
Sounds to me like anxiety and stress causing you to tense your muscles. It seems as though you are extremely concerned and most likely looking for symptoms of pain when you have sex now, which is causing you to tense and spasm.
Muscle tension caused by stress can cause all sorts of crazy symptoms. You have been given a clean bill of health, try not to worry about it and enjoy your sex rather than worrying about the after effects. The worry is what keeps the problems going.
Good luck. |
|
|
|
Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 09:28:31
|
"It all started with me and my husband having really rough sex.."
Is that something new? If so, maybe your unconscious was afraid/triggered/alarmed or put off.
Erata |
|
|
|
sanio
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 12:57:12
|
@william
I do had alot of stress right before marriage since me and my husband are an interracial couple. He wasnt really liked by my family but since he is such a sweetheart my family is now in love with him! I also was going to graduate university this summer that dint happen cause I couldnt self study and take this exam due to ofcourse my PAIN!...so I dint graduate.I am currently taking that as a class at my school which is fine with me. Also my hours got cut off at my oncampus job..since they cant afford to have too many employees alot of people are laid off. So alots been going on..I am journaling and two major emotions that show up are GUILT AND FEAR...fear of alot of things such as never getting a good job after i graduate and ofcourse THE PAIN BEING UNCURABLE!..and guilt that my husband is taking care of alot of things that I wish I could help him with but cant since I am a student.
@Hundreth
Yes I have had anxiety disorder on and of for past couple of years. I was given xanax and prilosec in 2005 for 30 days to cure anxiety and GERD...that fixed my mind for a while but I had a stress full job on campus as a Resident Assistant on campus. My roommates had alot of problems and I was supposed to suck it up and be nice to them cause I work for school. I was once again sent for counselling. The psychiatrist told me to let my angry out and I said I never do I just dont get angry..I just cry...he put me on lexapro which made me sickk and I had to discontinue it. I thought I can just push myself to get better. I met my current husband and he was a great help in cheering me up. He is the only that keeps me happy! But you know its hard to not think about the pain!!! uggh :(
@Erata
Well it wasnt something new. We havent been that rough. I knew I woul like it and I wasnt at all stressed out at that time. I think it wasnt even a butt ache when I did that. But since i THOUGHT I AM CONSTIPATED and something is stuck...my over exerting myself down there probably cause the pain and then ofcourse the fear that I developed of things as I went along...fear of sex, fear of constipation etc etc....I know I seem to know all my answers...but I guess I am searching for validation that is someone else agrees with me...I am able to fix myself for as long as 4 or 5 hours but then the pain comes back..cause I cant stop fearing it! |
|
|
|
skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 16:53:44
|
I'm a dude, but perhaps my experience may help.
I think it's called levitator ani syndrome, but the last attack I had was perhaps a year ago.
I recall 3 attacks, 1 of which was minor, but the other two left me on the bathroom floor with the feeling I was going to anally give birth to a bowling ball.
All three attacks were triggered by a bowel movement previously, and lasted 3-5 minutes, and residual pain for up to 15. I was totally incapacitated and was at it's mercy as it wasn't like a calf cramp which you could simply stretch in the other direction to get relief.
The pain was dull, and nightmarish. And yes, the amount of stress I had back then was 10 fold to where it is now. But then I could say I have a ton of stress now, but maybe see it a differently then back then (ability to let go, put into perspective... etc) and ergo relief of tension. |
|
|
|
sanio
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 18:49:53
|
@skizzik
I think itt very well could be levator ani syndrome/spasm one more week and I see a doctor for confirmation. But the thing that is different for me and you is that you have spasms and they go away after couple of minutes Mine are a constant dull feeling of fullness like there is something holding up there, which ofcourse isnt true! But it gets intensely painfully from time to time if I stress myself over it. Hence I realized I am causing them to occur by stressing...
So you are cured now? did you see a doctor or try and meds? Let me know how you got it fixed |
|
|
|
SarnoFan
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 09/16/2009 : 20:38:44
|
Hope I can help here too. You have a classic symptom of anal or perineal/levator ani spasm (from a possible fissure that healed) and maybe internal hemorrhoids that can develop with spasm. This can give you the feeling of incomplete evacuation/fullness/pressure.
These all go together with anxiety and tension. Marriage and the sex could have been your new "trigger". I had the exact same problem that started after my vaginal hysterectomy which really "stretched" the muscles of the pelvic floor...this was my trigger for perineal/anal spasm/inflammation along with stress during my recovery.
It really doesn't make "physical sense" that I should spasm after the surgery because I've had 4 pregnancies, 2 episiotemies including a 10 lb baby 20 years prior!! Read my profile for more info about my TMS.
I also went to ER, had a battery of tests, took antibiotics, saw several doctors..and now 2 years later,after trying EVERYTHING I accepted this was another form of TMS.
I'm 95% better now. I find that my biggest (perhaps only) trigger is lack of sleep. I actually have a flare up right now because of poor sleep the last few days. I'm not fretting about it because I know that with some TLC and sleep I'll be good again.
It was the fear that fueled it before. I won't give it any more attention.
|
|
|
|
skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2009 : 04:55:05
|
quote:
Originally posted by sanio
@skizzik
I think itt very well could be levator ani syndrome/spasm one more week and I see a doctor for confirmation. But the thing that is different for me and you is that you have spasms and they go away after couple of minutes Mine are a constant dull feeling of fullness like there is something holding up there, which ofcourse isnt true! But it gets intensely painfully from time to time if I stress myself over it. Hence I realized I am causing them to occur by stressing...
So you are cured now? did you see a doctor or try and meds? Let me know how you got it fixed
good posts from Sarnofan.
I feel it went away because as debilitating as it was, I always felt it did'nt compare to the chronic lower spine pain that I was dealing with, and like my other symptoms always thought "hey, I can put up with that no problem if my back pain would just go away."
I guess by the third and longest attack, I just assumed it would go away at some point if I just kept lying there. It went away, even though I was caked in sweat and all fatigued and dizzy from it.
Like Sarno says "theres nothing to cure, one gets the knowledge and gets better."
I simply did'nt care about it. Not because I'm able to do that and your'e not, but because the pain in my lower back was so menatlly devastating to me that the levi ani just did'nt hold me up with fear along with over a dozen other symptoms I've had on this board.
This may be your "only" symptom, therefore your brain will wrap itself around it and nothing else. I had bigger fish to fry in my back.
If you can mix in a TMS doc, providing you still get a "alls OK" from the conventional doc. If the conventional doc gives you a diagnosis, such as irritable bowel, keep in mind, they need to get paid which means they have to give you a diagnosis that you'll accept, and they're not in the business of saying it's all in your head.
Good luck in your decision wether it's physical, or tension, the pain I've been thru with the symptoms I've had, I blame no-one for taking conventional medical routes, thats how real and horrible the pain and fear is. It may not even be a decision, subconciously, you may fall into the right treatment. This is providing they don't find a red flag and cure it.
I'm sure 90% of you wishes they did find something that was relieved permanently with some type of surgery, or steroid, I know my mind was desperate for that. When the pain is chronic and bad, I relate it to you being at a rock concert, and the person next to you is "life" and everything they're trying to tell you, you have to decipher everything over the loud music and dark light, and pretend you're fully there. And the whole time your'e debating wether the the concert is fake or real.
Currently, my concert is just a dude playing a guitar on the street corner for tips, sometimes his buddies come over and beat a plaster bucket drum for extra tips, but so far I'm handling it. For now the concerts appear to be a thing of the past. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
New to TMS and anal spasms please help
