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marsha
252 Posts |
 Posted - 06/29/2010 : 19:46:07
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After three terrible years of(relapse) pain the knowledge and the work has not worked for me.
I am firm in my belief that my pain is psychosomatic. I have no doubts. Keeping a journal, going to Dr. Sarno being positive, thinking psychologically, reading all that I could and going for therapy(analytical psycho therapy)I am still having enough pain so that it is impossible for me to live my life.
I quit, I give up, I'm throwing in the towel.
I am not sure anything else will help me since I am so completely convinced that Sarno is correct.
I am sure that I am not damaged..that there is nothing physically wrong with me. I do not seek medical advice . Been there done that. My pain moves around and I have suffered off and on for the last 50 years. I am still here. I am not afraid that I am ill nor do I fear death..But I am done with thinking I that this mind body thing will abate.
I quit.
Marsha |
Edited by - marsha on 07/01/2010 16:34:46 |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2010 : 00:46:09
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Hi Marsha
What ever your decision is I respect it I'm sorry that you reached the end of your rope and of course I cannot offer a miracle. Yes the pain moves around and yes it is relentless wearing out your patience and endurance and I can understand you having enough . However your decision may turn out to be a good thing if only to satisfy the need to quit and bring some relief on that aspect, the years of going through all this with only more questions in return are probably just as difficult on the body and mind as the syndrome itself. Maybe you need a break from all that and someday you 'll be surprised to discover that the pain is gone and you may never even know why. The brain is capable of so many things. Life 's been good to me every time I persevered but in a few cases it was when I was desperate and gave up that the unexpected happened and brought the relief. I truly hope the same happens to you .
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Edited by - catspine on 06/30/2010 00:46:58 |
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guej
115 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2010 : 06:25:43
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Marsha,
I was looking for your number last week in my old emails and couldn't find it. Call me during the week if you still have my # or email me through the forum. I wanted to catch up with you anyway. |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2010 : 19:44:40
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Good luck - I trust you are the best judge after this many years.
This story, on the possible harm of hanging on to too much hope, came out in 2009 and discusses why maintaining hope of improvement may not always what will make you happiest. I hope in your case quitting will bring some peace.
http://www2.med.umich.edu/prmc/media/newsroom/details.cfm?ID=1359 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2010 : 17:46:50
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..though I can't help wondering what it means to quit exactly in this case. It seems to me that from a practical point of view, you know too much. You can't really unlearn these things. You can quit the forum of course, and you can quit journaling etc., but you can't quit a passionately held belief. In my opinion, that "passionately held belief" is the single most important tool a struggling TMS'er can possess. It might yet work its magic.
If you're giving up on hope, that actually could be a plus as Alexis points out. Hope was the last thing to fly out of Pandora's box. That's usually interpreted as a kind of saving grace amidst all the terrible ills that had just been unleashed on mankind, but hope can be under certain conditions the worst curse of all.
I hope I don't sound too glib. That's not my intention as my heart goes out to you.
Wishing you the best,
A. |
Edited by - art on 07/09/2010 03:35:01 |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2010 : 20:43:13
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well Art, you are correct. I know too much . Letting go of my belief is impossible. Maybe I'll look at this as a vacation from over thinking.
I'll keep you posted.
Marsha |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2010 : 15:19:31
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For what it's worth Marsha, I'm usually successful with the TMS stuff when I simply relax and trust. This is one of those areas where it seems that "trying" doesn't help. I don't know how you're approaching this, but that's why giving up in a sense might actually work for you.
I've had lots of success with more simple things. Back, knee, foot issues, all resolved. But the more complicated stuff....migraines, inability to process sugar, waking up feeling crappy in the morning....these have been tougher for me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been able to cultivate the laissez faire attitude that's worked with the more straightforward things...
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Alex71
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2010 : 16:49:00
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| Hi....I know how frustrating this might be to you. I could help but notice that you said that ...You were not afraid of being ill or death.....That caught my eye. If you have had these problems for more than 50 years, leads me to believe that you are an older person. I want to tell you that as an older person than you, that MORTALITY...is a big issue when you get into your 50s, 60s, 70s. If it wasn't a problem, you would not have even mentioned it. For me this was a HUGH issue of anxiety and anger. I had to admit this to myself for my problem of pain to go away. I would say to really re-examine this issue for yourself and see if you don't have more anxiety and anger than you think. Anyway, what do you have to lose if you are ready to throw in the towel. Give it a shot. |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2010 : 18:49:28
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Hi Alex,
I am like most not too keen on the idea of dying. Death itself doesn't cause me much concern. The process on the other hand has a great deal of significance. A quick sudden death is what I would want, no long suffering for me.
I am 66 years old AND AM ONLY REMINDED OF THAT WHEN I SEE MY IMAGE IN THE MIRROR. ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER. I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF TAKING THE MIRRORS OUT OF MY BATHROOM. Excuse the caps. Hit the wrong key and don't feel like retyping.
I never think my pains are caused by anything other than psychological symptoms. After 50 years if they were serious I would have already died.
I had a very difficult childhood . No sympathy necessary . My sister 61 also has suffered for most of her life with psychological symptoms.
I have also had success with Sarno. In 1999 I went to see him for the first time. Within 7 months I was pain free and that lasted for about 7 years. This time I have had no success.
I thinkI know too much and over think everything.
I also think that once you finally conquer TMS all symptoms vanish. It worked for me once.
This relapse is because I have been working too hard. The last time I just believed..no labor necessary.
Enough said. Thanks for your thoughts.
Very appreciated.
Marsha |
Edited by - marsha on 07/12/2010 18:56:49 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2010 : 16:17:31
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
Hi Alex,
I am like most not too keen on the idea of dying. Death itself doesn't cause me much concern. The process on the other hand has a great deal of significance. A quick sudden death is what I would want, no long suffering for me.
I am 66 years old AND AM ONLY REMINDED OF THAT WHEN I SEE MY IMAGE IN THE MIRROR. ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER. I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF TAKING THE MIRRORS OUT OF MY BATHROOM. Excuse the caps. Hit the wrong key and don't feel like retyping.
I never think my pains are caused by anything other than psychological symptoms. After 50 years if they were serious I would have already died.
I had a very difficult childhood . No sympathy necessary . My sister 61 also has suffered for most of her life with psychological symptoms.
I have also had success with Sarno. In 1999 I went to see him for the first time. Within 7 months I was pain free and that lasted for about 7 years. This time I have had no success.
I thinkI know too much and over think everything.
I also think that once you finally conquer TMS all symptoms vanish. It worked for me once.
This relapse is because I have been working too hard. The last time I just believed..no labor necessary.
Enough said. Thanks for your thoughts.
Very appreciated.
Marsha
I'm 59 and hate looking in the mirror. The cruel twist about this aging thing is that we remain forever young in some essential way. The youthful years seem to last forever, at least while we're in them. Then somewhere around 45 or 50 time shifts into overdrive. So our identification, or mine anyway as I should speak only for myself, is as a young person. That doesn't change just because a time cheapened decade or two goes by. The world seems the same, the sky,the stars, I still get spring fever every year. It seems...wrong somehow....that I'm no longer young.
Was it Tolstoy who said the biggest surprise in a man's life (and presumably a woman) is getting old? It's a major challenge, coming to terms with it. It certainly is for me.... |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2010 : 16:38:06
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Hi Marsha,
You haven't given up visiting the forum, thank you for that.
When I'm stuck with a difficulty one of the techniques I often use successfully is to submit my understanding of my own problems to someone else and see what comes out of it. At a time your comments helped me unlock some issues I was going nowhere with. Thanks for that too.
You do not have to read the rest but the comments may be of some interest to someone else too in relation to how I perceived your struggle.
I read you last posts and thought about it for a while. In this case I assume that what you wrote reflects the essence of your concern and your perception as simply and as accurately as you can formulate it and this is what my short comment is based upon.
As simple as these may be I hope my observations catch your attention like it caught mine when i read and that you can do something with it to your benefit.
The body is strong, very strong, and even stronger with the mind cooperation.
For seven years you enjoyed being pain free... There is a lot you can play with there. Oh well, aging may have some disadvantages but it has made you wise. The love from the eyes cannot compete with the love from the heart. Your image can't beat that and once you'll be pain free again the outside will surely reflect the changes positively. There is nothing like happiness to look your best.
You'll shine double again...
So what is it that the mind resists when the body wants to be well?
Is there something the mind cannot live without to the point that it tries to derail the constant efforts of the body to be and function as it knows best.
There must be an idea or a concept dear to your mind and that serves a purpose (I'm talking about a different purpose here) not necessarily the TMS or its equivalent purpose, i could bet it is something simple and essential to your mind and stronger than whatever you learned so far, something you haven't found what to replace it with yet that will satisfy both the mind and the body's requirements.
It could be that your mind perceives the pain as being the best (the best of the worst of course) and settles for it because it's good enough to serve the mind well without permanently damaging the body. This could explain why the symptoms have been going on for so long without threatening your physical life.
The question is though what was there in those 7 years of relief that was surely good enough to make a difference and beat the odd logic of the mind to settle for less than it can have? I found the best chance to deal with a relapse successfully is to make the unconscious an offer it cannot refuse.
Of course trying to answer these few questions for yourself can lead to more questions in return you're not willing to investigate at this time and you might have gone there already in which case simply disregard this post altogether as it was not meant to have a negative outcome.
There are so many hidden aspects our perception misses because of our own direct concerns and what it leads us to focus on that sometimes it makes it impossible to get out of the maze regardless of the amount of knowledge and time spent on the problem. This is because in order to deal with any problem part of the mind resources is devoted to operating while taking into consideration certain facts that interfere with the original task and complicate the process or because it operates on a false information it believes to be true or both among other things.
Quitting was probably the thing to do until you can approach this again from a new angle.
The more you'll play the more work you'll get done.
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Edited by - catspine on 07/14/2010 16:41:52 |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2010 : 09:31:16
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Catspine,
After my first meeting with Dr. Sarno I did nothing. Just went home,accepted his diagnosis,and began to feel better at once. Within 7 or 8 months I was pain free. Meaning that any aches and pains I experienced after that were momentary and did not affect the quality of my life or interfere with my thoughts.
We all need to do what ever we feel is necessary to get better. For me it is to do nothing. This second time around has been a horror because I have tried to hard, thought to much and have spent the last few years searching for an answer.
What is the answer? For me it is just letting go.
I am not a therapist and cannot even attempt to analyze my problems.
Much too much time is being spent on attempting to figure out why a forum member is suffering and comparing aches and pains. Go to a physician and make sure you don't have an infection or cancer or any other pathological illnesses. If you get clear on that just figure it is TMS.
Chronic pain is a pain in the "ass". This time instead of ignoring it I payed into it allowing it to take over my life. That is why I quit.
I don't know if you have noticed that there are as many self help books and forums around as there are pills on the shelf. That alone say tons...
I haven't gotten over my addiction to the forum yet but I think that is coming soon.
Take care.
Marsha |
Edited by - marsha on 07/16/2010 09:40:00 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2010 : 11:54:43
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Marsha,
I feel for you and identify with you completely. I have had these TMS pains moving around almost daily (of varying degrees) since recovering from a true neck injury that happened Dec. 1995..I have not had the extreme pleasure of seeing Dr. Sarno because I moved from NY/NJ to Vegas (God forbide!) in Aug. 1994. I did see Dr. Schecter (& he was totally unhelpful)..I even went for some private therapy w/ TMS therapist Don Dubin..Don was helpful for a time! I saw him in his office in Beverly Hills a couple of sessions & did more sessions on the phone. I did notice a difference, for sure..He was good..However, I felt that we didn't complete treatment because plain and simple, I couldn't afford it..
So, eventually after another true injury, the pains started again well past the 'normal' time to be in pain for the specific injury to my neck, knee, wrist, ankle, etc..Sooo many time I wanted to give up too..And, I just turned 53 & I am scared like crazy about that!! Thank the good Lord I have good genes & take care of myself (w/the exception of pizza & cookies),,so people guess me to be in my late 30's..I also never had kids, which is totally bothering me, especially lately..Anyway, don't want to make this about me..just babbling to tell you that you're not alone w/ these fears & frustrations..You got some wonderful replies on here from very wise and caring people..I hope all of it helps you!
Blessings,
Karen |
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