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woodyb
USA
17 Posts |
 Posted - 07/12/2012 : 19:06:58
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What do you do when your significant other is your trigger? But you can't leave, and they won't listen to you...
Woodyb |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2012 : 11:53:54
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I'd say that depends heavily on WHY your significant other is your trigger.
Sometimes the trigger is a trigger not because of the person/incident itself, but because of something in our past that's related by association. For example...if someone as a small child was attacked by a vicious dog while in a stroller and later on developed a fear of strollers...the stroller is a trigger because of a traumatic event that took place in a stroller and the association is illogical and irrational because the dog attack was the actual traumatic event.
That said...is there something that your significant other is doing or saying that could be dredging up emotions that have been hanging around beneath the surface? Could a significant other chastising you for something feel all too much like the way a parent possibly treated you as a young child? Could there be a fear of disappointing your significant other that is reminiscent of feeling like you were disappointing your care takers when you were younger?
These are the things I think about when I ponder on some of my triggers.
And, for the record, I am not usually one to advocate divorce/separation (depending on the situation), but the phrase "but you can't leave" leaves me wondering, "why?". I'm not suggesting it's my business or that you should even consider telling me...but it's kinda like they say to kids as they grow up..."can't means won't". You are a person with a free will...you ARE capable of doing whatever you need to in order improve your situation. It's a matter of what are the potential consequences and obstacles.
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Dustin |
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stayfit65
54 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2012 : 17:16:39
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| I love my hubby, but he is extremely messy, which drives me nuts...I think it contributes to my condition. He also says "yep, yep, yep," when I am discussing something with him that is on my mind, then once I am done talking, he starts changing the subject to his topic. That also drives me nuts. So, I decided that journaling these issues is part of my solution, along with talking to a professional on how I can better handle this. This professional happens to be trained in MindBody medicine, so that is also helpful. I hope you are able to find the solution that fits your situation...take care. |
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Significant other is my trigger
