| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
jennypeanut
103 Posts |
 Posted - 07/15/2012 : 21:52:21
|
| Sometimes you have something that is NOT TMS. I'm not going to say exactly what it is I have, but it's NOT a big deal, it's something I've had before and I've seen the Dr. But I know it's not TMS. Sometimes we get "real" stuff. Anyway, I am going crazy over this rather minor, yet annoying thing. In fact, I seem to always have something driving me crazy, TMS related or an actual organic problem. HOW HOW HOW do I stop the obsessive thoughts that play over in my head like a looping tape? The thought: This is bad. The medicine isn't going to work. It could mean an "underlying condition"... or I think about what the Dr. said over and over again, even if it wasn't anything alarming. How to break this?? |
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2012 : 22:05:08
|
Go out and do something to take your mind off it--go bowling. |
 |
|
|
jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2012 : 22:27:48
|
| OMG I LOVE bowling. Sadly I can hardly get out to that anymore with small kids in the house. But you are right - getting out helps. |
|
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2012 : 23:34:42
|
| Hire a baby sitter--go bowling! |
|
|
|
art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2012 : 06:32:49
|
We should all go bowling at least once a day. It's an under-rated activity.
Jenny, worrying is what we do. It's our defining characteristic. There are no easy answers of course. But we can definitely cut down on our worrying with practice. IN fact, it's crucial to so so to make lasting progress with our TMS.
I'd say the key is, "just don't do it" but you'd probably get annoyed with me, and perhaps rightly so. But really, in the end that's what it comes down to. We have a choice, |
|
|
|
bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2012 : 00:02:24
|
| I love bowling. |
|
|
|
Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2012 : 09:56:04
|
The key to getting rid of unwanted thoughts is:
1) distraction (bowling sounds like a great solution here)
2) stop fighting the thoughts. You are fighting them because that's what anxiety sufferers do, but it makes the thoughts stronger. So do they opposite of what you think you should do. The more you fight them, the more you tell them that you want them to stop, the more tense you become. The more tense you become, the more you give your subconscious mind the message that these thougths are important and the more your subconscious mind sends them back up into your conscious mind. They stay BECAUSE you give them importance by fighting them and wishing them gone. Do the opposite. Let them in, invite them to stay, and tell them that they can stay for as long as they want. And remind yourself that these thoughts are meaningless and insignificant. At the same time, relax / sag your body towards the thoughts. This gives your subconscious mind the message that these thoughts are not important, and your subconscious mind (slowly) registers the fact that you are giving these thoughts less attention, and (slowly) stops sending the thought up into your conscious mind so often. THIS TAKES TIME, but it works. These thoughts are meaningless, irrrelevant and insignificant. |
|
|
|
balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2012 : 17:32:10
|
Usually when we have too much free time, our mind always focus on the negative, it is it's nature to do so. We need to keep our mind to either occupy all the time or clear everything in our mind with meditation.
To occupy the mind, try to read a good book, watch a good movie, talk to a good friend, volunteer at the soup kitchen in town, do a project at home.... or join a meditation, yoga group. The brain can not think of more than 1 thing at a time. All you have to do is replace the negative with something neutral or positive. And if you do it often enough it will become a habit, a positive habit. Goodluck Jenny.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
|
|
|
art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2012 : 10:43:13
|
quote:
Originally posted by Hilary
The key to getting rid of unwanted thoughts is:
1) distraction (bowling sounds like a great solution here)
2) stop fighting the thoughts. You are fighting them because that's what anxiety sufferers do, but it makes the thoughts stronger. So do they opposite of what you think you should do. The more you fight them, the more you tell them that you want them to stop, the more tense you become. The more tense you become, the more you give your subconscious mind the message that these thougths are important and the more your subconscious mind sends them back up into your conscious mind. They stay BECAUSE you give them importance by fighting them and wishing them gone. Do the opposite. Let them in, invite them to stay, and tell them that they can stay for as long as they want. And remind yourself that these thoughts are meaningless and insignificant. At the same time, relax / sag your body towards the thoughts. This gives your subconscious mind the message that these thoughts are not important, and your subconscious mind (slowly) registers the fact that you are giving these thoughts less attention, and (slowly) stops sending the thought up into your conscious mind so often. THIS TAKES TIME, but it works. These thoughts are meaningless, irrrelevant and insignificant.
Hillary,
All beautifully expressed. I couldn't agree more. We energize unwanted thoughts to the very extent we fight them, and fear them. We can't declare war on ourselves without causing much damage, and that's just what we do when we fight with our own thoughts.
I've had good success on distracting myself by breathing, and focusing on that breathing. It can really and truly work wonders... |
Edited by - art on 07/18/2012 10:43:55 |
|
|
|
jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2012 : 22:27:17
|
Thanks guys. I really like what you said Hillary. That is not something I would have thought of doing - giving in and letting the thoughts stay while recognizing they are powerless and ridiculous.
And Art - the whole "We can't declare war on ourselves without causing much damage" - so true.
Balto - the nature of what I do for my job (stay at home with young preschool children) allows for tremendous amounts of time where I'm not really utilizing my mind. While very busy tending to kids physically, my mind is just left there sitting. This allows for the perfect setting for that looping tape to play in my brain. I do read a lot and in fact am in a great book now, but I can't just pick it up while "on the job" because the kids want my attention. Heck, I can't even go to the bathroom alone, they follow me in there. It's not miserable, it's just not intellectually stimulating. I exercise, which is the one time I get to get out of my head, but it's a challenge to make that happen. I meet up with friends as often as possible, and I have a few other activities I do too. I'm just in a hard phase of life with small dependent children. And not only because of the exhaustion/ lack of mental stimulation but because I worry about what would happen to them if something happened to me - and thus the health anxiety. Honestly, I do as much as I can but sometimes I wonder if I would make a better person/mother if I had a J-O-B outside of the home. |
|
|
|
abundance72
Australia
37 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2012 : 23:04:25
|
"balto - the nature of what I do for my job (stay at home with young preschool children) allows for tremendous amounts of time where I'm not really utilizing my mind. While very busy tending to kids physically, my mind is just left there sitting. This allows for the perfect setting for that looping tape to play in my brain. I do read a lot and in fact am in a great book now, but I can't just pick it up while "on the job" because the kids want my attention. Heck, I can't even go to the bathroom alone, they follow me in there. It's not miserable, it's just not intellectually stimulating. I exercise, which is the one time I get to get out of my head, but it's a challenge to make that happen. I meet up with friends as often as possible, and I have a few other activities I do too. I'm just in a hard phase of life with small dependent children. And not only because of the exhaustion/ lack of mental stimulation but because I worry about what would happen to them if something happened to me - and thus the health anxiety. Honestly, I do as much as I can but sometimes I wonder if I would make a better person/mother if I had a J-O-B outside of the home."
Jennypeanut, I totally understand where you're coming from. I have 3 year old twins who run ragged around the house and I can't go into a room without them trying to push there way through or constantly dressing and undressing themselves and throwing clothes around the room right after I've tidied up. It really does wear a person out and yes how right are you that you can't even sit for 5 minutes to read a book!! It's so frustrating. One thing that I've began doing as of 2 months ago is they go to daycare 2 days a week as I need the break and I believe they need some other stimulation with other children. I also have been back at work part-time 2 days a week and every day that I can I do at least 20 minutes of relaxation/meditation. It helps immensely. I feel calmer and my aches are not so bad anymore.
I can truly sympathise with you though as I totally know where you're coming from!
Good luck :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
My body heals quickly and easily
|
|
|
|
balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2012 : 07:11:51
|
quote:
Originally posted by jennypeanut
Thanks guys. I really like what you said Hillary. That is not something I would have thought of doing - giving in and letting the thoughts stay while recognizing they are powerless and ridiculous.
And Art - the whole "We can't declare war on ourselves without causing much damage" - so true.
Balto - the nature of what I do for my job (stay at home with young preschool children) allows for tremendous amounts of time where I'm not really utilizing my mind. While very busy tending to kids physically, my mind is just left there sitting. This allows for the perfect setting for that looping tape to play in my brain. I do read a lot and in fact am in a great book now, but I can't just pick it up while "on the job" because the kids want my attention. Heck, I can't even go to the bathroom alone, they follow me in there. It's not miserable, it's just not intellectually stimulating. I exercise, which is the one time I get to get out of my head, but it's a challenge to make that happen. I meet up with friends as often as possible, and I have a few other activities I do too. I'm just in a hard phase of life with small dependent children. And not only because of the exhaustion/ lack of mental stimulation but because I worry about what would happen to them if something happened to me - and thus the health anxiety. Honestly, I do as much as I can but sometimes I wonder if I would make a better person/mother if I had a J-O-B outside of the home.
Hi Jenny, Due to my wife's long hours at work, I am a Mr. Mom 7 days a week. My daughter, being an only child, she constantly chose me as her playmate. I now know how to dress up a barbie, make a bed for barbie out of legos. I can cook 12 different dishes with tiny pots and pans. I can tie her hairs 5 different styles, I can paint finger nail better than a nail technician. I jump hoops, I ride imagine unicorns with her, I read Diary of a wimpy kid,... I don't have private life  , I live my life for her. So I think I kind of know how you feel.
It is really tough being parent in this day and age. But hey, it's life. Hillary's advice above is wonderful and will definitely help. If you can add some will power exercise that Ace1 often recommended here, I think you will feel much better. Acceptance and will power often carry us thru many hardships. That is all the poorest of the poors in poor countries around the world had to go on with life.
I think when we can stop thinking of ourself as victims we are free. My dad lead thousand of people in hundred of battles against the communist, I have tremendous respect for him. But my mother is the one I always look up to and come for advice and comfort. She is the head of our clan. Dad always respect and listen to her.
Your job as a fulltime mother is one of the most challenging and important job in this world. You care and raise the future of our society. Enjoy it while you can, kids grow up so fast, we will miss them soon enough.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
|
|
|
Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2012 : 15:57:55
|
"I now know how to dress up a barbie, make a bed for barbie out of legos. I can cook 12 different dishes with tiny pots and pans. I can tie her hairs 5 different styles, I can paint finger nail better than a nail technician. I jump hoops, I ride imagine unicorns with her, I read Diary of a wimpy kid,.."
Balto - this sounds like a lot of fun - it won't last for a whole lifetime. I know it must feel limiting and frustrating at times, but your attitude is so great.How lucky your wife is! (And in the great scheme of things, you are missing out on the nightmares of grown-up so-called reality in which people dress up to look like adults and compete with each other to do meaningless tasks in cubicles for cashish...)
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
When it's not TMS, and how to handle the worry
