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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - 03/28/2013 : 10:21:59
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Short background: I just recently attained a relatively pain-free state after 17 years of many TMS symptoms. My wife has had TMS for 15 years now but is in denial about having TMS even with living proof (me) in front of her. She believes her pain is from scar tissue resulting from neck fusion surgery 16 years ago. Now that I'm more aware of mind-body symptoms, I see it occurring in my kids. Our teenager gets tension headaches and stomach pain. The 9-yr old gets back pain and stomach pain. They haven't had the same kinds of traumatic experiences that my wife and I had in childhood which I believe contributed to our TMS.
So, here's my question. Can we teach (and kids learn) unconsciously how to deal with emotions to the point where they develop TMS simply because we have it? |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 11:05:47
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| Yes this is the basic cause of why YOU developed it in the first place. You learned your strained habits from your parents as well. I see this all the time with my patients. It is the rule rather than the exception. |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 11:54:34
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| Absolutely true in my case. Not a matter of blame, just a matter of historical fact. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:08:13
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Same for me, and probably most of us. Pain is immediately associated with underlying physical ails. My mom, who is very bright and did a great job... happened to be a big believer in viral ails. So, that was what I heard a lot from her. But, I will say... she's also open to mind/body issues, so I have to commend her for not getting stuck in her ways later in life.
I'm trying to be as mindful as possible with my 6 year old that these issues often arise from our emotions. It'll be so nice for our children to have that head-start we never had. |
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:11:50
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Ace and pspa, I suspected this but appreciate the confirmation. Now that I think about this, both of us have a mom with TMS symptoms. They have different symptoms from us so I never made the connection before. Since part of my recovery included symptom substitution, this shouldn't surprise me that the same underlying way of dealing with strain is present in us.
I'm hopeful now that in the same way we inadvertently taught them TMS, we can purposely and deliberately teach them TMS recovery and how to properly deal with stress/strain/anger/fear/guilt/shame/etc. |
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:14:18
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| Bryan, we must have hit "post" at the same time. Thanks to you as well for the comments. That "head start" is exactly what I'd like to give them. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:20:28
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My pleasure, tmsjptc. This is an awesome topic and to me... no topic is closer to my heart than protecting my baby girl.
Tension headaches and stomach pains, along with back pain is almost always stress-related.
Maybe you can look into what's happening in their lives? What might be contributing?
I can see my girl is a perfectionist right from the get-go, despite my best efforts to steer her away from that. I'm a big believer in nurture over nature, but there IS something in-built in all of us, I suppose... that points us in a direction.
I had severe back pain that kept me off my feet for almost 2 weeks at 9 years old, around the time of my parents divorce. Seems so obvious looking back now... but then, no one had any clue.
Great topic!
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:25:30
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My parents were both stress junkies. Always looking for something that was wrong, very negative bias to their thinking, we could never, it seemed, just be calm and relaxed and carefree -- even though objectively we had a pretty normal life. I remember preferring to be at friends' houses because the environment there was much more normal. Maybe some of it was just perception, who knows, but I think not all of it, because many others observed the same thing.
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 12:28:24
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Yeah, pspa... we may not be all nurture and behavior, but if you follow this stuff, listen to others stories, listen to the skype calls at Anxiety Centre, etc... almost 100% of anxiety (TMS) sufferers will tell you they had stressed parents, or overbearing... or checked out.
I've yet to meet an anxiety sufferer who said they had totally adjusted parents.
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 13:29:36
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This is a great thread. I am a big believer in the idea that parents can actually teach TMS to their kids. In fact, I think this is one of the reasons that health care costs are so out of control. If we don't get this pain epidemic under control, health care costs will bankrupt the nation, while denying care to the people who are really physically sick and stand to benefit from organic medical care.
I think children learn how to handle stress by observing how their parents handle it. I think we know that the improper handling of stress in our lives often leads to TMS in those with certain types of personalities.
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JBrown
1 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 16:32:35
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My mom has had her tms pain(back pain) ever since I can remember. Now that both me and my sister are both in out 20's low and behold we both have the same tms symptom. Hers has been off and on for a number of years and mine has just come a little more recently...frustrating at times because I'm the only one who recognizes it for what it is. Although I have told them about tms, that is about all you can do.
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 22:33:11
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Yeah JB, most of our parents are lost causes. My dad has had back pain since his 20's. I'm fairly convinced it's TMS, but he'd as soon go to his grave in dire pain before ever admitting his physical pain might come from his... gasp... emotions! My mom is open, though... which is helpful.
Our kids are open books, especially when younger. I'm hoping this next generation of kids has a higher understanding of MB principles than mind did.
I think each generation understands a bit more, until 100 years or so from now... medicine could look vastly different. What a great world that would be.
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 06:57:35
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quote:
Originally posted by bryan3000
Yeah JB, most of our parents are lost causes. My dad has had back pain since his 20's. I'm fairly convinced it's TMS, but he'd as soon go to his grave in dire pain before ever admitting his physical pain might come from his... gasp... emotions! My mom is open, though... which is helpful.
Our kids are open books, especially when younger. I'm hoping this next generation of kids has a higher understanding of MB principles than mind did.
I think each generation understands a bit more, until 100 years or so from now... medicine could look vastly different. What a great world that would be.
man just think Bryan if we were taught this as we Grew up
it would have sunk in ya know- I like the thought of a future generation knowing how to handle tough situations with calmness of spirit. its a fascinating concept. were told to be strong as we grow and we think this means physically so we adopt an attitude that I have to be strong no matter the situation and really the strongest we can be is when we have a calmness and peace in our emotions and thoughts. who would have ever thought to have real power and really be strong all we ever really needed was a calmness in our internal strength and representations.
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 08:38:56
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Tmsjtpc,
Side question... did you write a success story here? That's a long history of plain you overcame. Your story would be encouraging for others if you ever choose to share. |
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 09:27:28
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| Bryan, yes, I did. It was titled something like "8 months but have my life back". I intend to go back and update it. When I wrote it, I had reached a level where I felt very good compared to the previous many years. That was last summer. The pain is no longer chronic but I still have had some flare-ups every 2-3 weeks that would last a day or so. A couple of weeks ago, I watched Nicole Sachs' youtube interview and something clicked in me about a deeper layer and doing journaling. I stumbled across something that felt huge when I wrote it down and acknowledged it. It has helped even further and now I'm feeling better than I did when I wrote the success story. Before I update it though, I want to give it some time and ensure the flare-ups are either gone or much further reduced. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 09:45:27
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| Oh wow, I'm checking it out now. Look forward to seeing the revisions, as well. Kudos to you. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 09:48:53
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For anyone that missed it, here is the link...
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7523
Great stuff, tmsjptc. Coincidentally, I feel like I've made 3/4ths (or so) progress as well... and I just happen to be
reading Power of Now as we speak. A friend asked me to read it with her, as she's brand new to all of this.
So, seeing that it helped in your story is encouraging. Anyway, thanks again. |
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alix
USA
434 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 12:15:04
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The Power of now made a huge difference for me to. For one it gave me a tool to eradicate the fear of symptoms coming back by stepping out of that negative mind chatter.
I understand that Tolle was inspired by many thinkers before him but his ability to summarize difficult concepts into short and accessible writing is astonishing. |
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Topic |
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ARE WE TEACHING TMS TO OUR KIDS?
