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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
 Posted - 12/14/2014 : 23:49:53
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quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist
Tom, FWIW I find you entertaining, which I take to be your goal most of the time, except occasionally when you are making a serious point about Sarno. :)
Thank you ACL, I'm working on being a TMS stand-up comedian. I'm hoping to get on the Howard Stern show with an out of work pole-dancer suffering from TMS/back-pain. I will cure her with a TMS intervention and do a follow up with a bologna toss to prove her cured.
Here's a good thread from the TMS Wiki about foot-pain:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/my-tms-success-story-crippling-foot-pain-plantar-fasciitis-wrist-pain-eye-pain.5224/
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Edited by - tennis tom on 12/14/2014 23:51:59 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2014 : 23:09:42
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That is a great story, Tom, thanks for the link. I recently re-read my own success stories, of all things, and was inspired by them. Funny what can inspire us. I am still struggling with that critical first step of moving from "I had an acute injury" to "...and now my tissue is okay again", but reviewing these stories did remind me how bad pain can be, and how great fear can be, and still be entirely TMS. Any notion that TMS cannot cause the symptoms I am experiencing, or cannot cause pain as persistent or severe - that is clearly nonsense. I am reading stories about people in wheelchairs or on crutches because they had such bad pain - I just walk funny and can't walk far.
I like what she says further down about "Other than the pain, what ELSE is bothering me?" That could be a good question for me when I am challenged. I thought about something like that on the way home when I felt the catch behind my shin - I had been stood up for a Rolfing appointment (maybe it is a sign that I don't need Rolfing  ) and was surprisingly angry about it, but of course had been polite and mild about it to the person who was actually there. Goodism at work
I also just had the funniest experience of seeing my cat jump up on the couch and lose her footing a little. Suddenly my brain was like "Oh my god! What if the cat sprains her ankle?!" This was such a silly thought that I was like "Oh wow, so much of this fear is not about my actual foot." Not that it could never happen, cats do sometimes injure their feet, but it is not likely to happen from jumping up on the couch, nor it is a thing I personally would need to panic about or experience pain from. Very telling that my brain is able to transfer the panic to something totally unrelated.
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2014 : 11:19:10
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quote:
Originally posted by armchairlinguist
... I thought about something like that on the way home when I felt the catch behind my shin - I had been stood up for a Rolfing appointment (maybe it is a sign that I don't need Rolfing ) and was surprisingly angry about it, but of course had been polite and mild about it to the person who was actually there. Goodism at work
javascript:insertsmilie(' ')
Rolfing huh, I had about 90 sessions a few years back, enjoyed it--if that is possible. Guess it's part of my TMS masochistic personality. My Rolfer had really sharp elbows. Breathed the best I'd ever for a few days after, nothing like having your nostrils opened up by someone sticking their finger half way to your brain. Not to mention other orifii. Thought about doing the ten sessions again--just for grins--but it's getting really expensive. Also read Ida Rolf's book at the time--when your in that much pain, a lot of emotional stuff sure as hell can come up to the surface. Not that many Rolfers around, guess you'd have to have some sadist in you to do be one.
On that pleasant note, cheers and happy holidaze,
tt/lsmft
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2014 : 08:27:32
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quote:
Not that many Rolfers around, guess you'd have to have some sadist in you to do be one.
I sometimes used to say that I thought my physical therapist was a bit of a sadist. It was funny to me because she was the nicest blond lady from the Midwest, as sweet and wholesome as could be, but she was definitely not letting anyone get away with anything.
I did very well yesterday within the parameters I'm comfortable in at the moment - stood up during a ten-minute standup meeting, ran an errand after work, set up and trimmed the Christmas tree, took the garbage out, tidied up. I was quite tired by the end and could feel my muscles trying to set trigger points out of sheer tiredness, so I'm glad I'm doing things gradually - they need time to get back in shape. Definitely some mild to moderate pain in the afternoon and evening, but I was able to remind myself that I've had the same intensity of pain many times without noticeable change in my condition and try to pay attention to other things or thinking psychological. I woke up this morning with virtually no inflammation and my foot felt really good, even less stiff than it usually does in the morning.
Funny how the basics have to be re-established. But, onward! I definitely still have a confidence barrier and a thinking barrier around doing more than I have been doing. Doing a baseline with reduced pain first is helping but eventually I will have to make the leap!
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Edited by - armchairlinguist on 12/17/2014 08:29:28 |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2014 : 12:29:09
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| So glad you're foot's doing well. It sounds like you got a lot done yesterday foot-wise so I'd guess any real injury is well on it's way to healing. (I've had to attend stand-up meetings with and injured knee and it can be a literal pain.) |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2014 : 23:38:41
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At my old job I didn't attend a standup standing up until probably about six months in. I just borrowed a seat...But those took forever - standups are only supposed to be 10 min or so, which is what this one is.
Yesterday I went out with a friend, and did some chores around home, tonight an appointment with the OT and then more chores, and I also went to the post office today to mail something and had to stand in line. I saw more inflammation both days than on Tuesday, and the trigger point on the bottom of my foot is clearly acting up, which is quite fine because it is not the original injury :) Most of my focus has been on confidence, paying less attention to any pain and not fearing minor twinges, and some emotional focus, thinking about stuff that bothered me.
I really have that confidence barrier to get over as far as increasing beyond what I have done before (this week is just more quantity, not more quality). I may try this weekend or next. When the OT was working on me tonight I suddenly wanted to go swim/float in saltwater. There is a warm saltwater pool nearby that is out of my prior walking range in roundtrip distance...to walk there would be quite a triumph plus i would get the swim, and I could take the bus back in case I was not feeling very good, but would try to walk back as well.
The OT is a strange experience. Afterwards I do feel better and more mobile, but it's not exactly clear why since she does only very gentle manipulations, like a very soft massage/stretch. It is for sure super relaxing, though - like an hour of quiet meditation with gentle massage. Worth it just for that really :) My mind comes up with odd images and ideas (like the saltwater one), like having a little film running in my mind - I am almost asleep, but not quite. I likely will have another appointment with her but have not scheduled one. I would like to talk with her more about some plans for returning to activity and building confidence - yoga, progressive walking increase, and the like.
I think it's easy when I'm injured or emotionally challenged for me to shut down both emotionally and physically - to become 'guarded' so that I am not experiencing things fully and aware. It is just a constant habit which I really always need to be aware of, and build in some practices to counter it. Increasingly I keep encountering situations where meditation seems to be an option that makes sense. I am so resistant to doing it daily for some reason, but it seems wise. I think that I think of it as boring, but actually my mind is quite interesting when running untethered (see reflections above). The difficult bit is to be relaxed enough that I can untether it.
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Edited by - armchairlinguist on 12/18/2014 23:43:57 |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2014 : 09:00:28
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| I have a similar problem doing meditation, though intellectually I believe it is helpful in numerous psychological and pain related ways (I did a good grad level course on both research and practice plus did the full MBSR program as a part of it). I find organized meditation (at a local insight society) very helpful, but don't have the discipline to stick to it on my own, even using guided meditations. Let me know if you come up with a way to stay with it! |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2014 : 09:17:28
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| One thing I did find I could do more often was short meditations with music. It really depends on your meditation goals (probably not a route to enlightenment), but for things like calming and focussing the mind music has many of the same benefits, and for me music accompanied meditations are a good compromise. I use the same relaxing music for things like laundry that I hate. I'm borderline tone deaf so I won't recommend music, but what I use is both peaceful to me and dischordant (if that's the right word) enough to break up thought loops. I read once that classical Indian music works better for this reason, although that's not what I use (mine is sort of a piano and nature sounds mix). |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2014 : 14:51:55
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That's a good suggestion. I'm a trained amateur musician, so there's a lot of music I like, and I sort of enjoy those kind of "relaxation music CDs" that a lot of massage therapists use. Norah Jones has a similar hypnotic effect (I listen to her on planes to fall asleep), as does a CD I have of modern takes on Hindu chants (Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band). Some Dar Williams and Beth Orton works for that as well, although not quite as good, I tend to get too wrapped up in the actual music for those.
If I could get myself to sit or lie down for a few minutes a day listening to any of that, I suspect it would improve my life a lot. Something to do post-dinner, maybe.
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2014 : 22:04:22
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I did finally take the next step to walk further - total 32 blocks today, besides the chores I did earlier. Not too surprised that the heat / inflammation and then pain have kicked up. Deconditioning takes time. Trying to think psychologically...
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/22/2014 : 10:55:12
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Definitely struggling after yesterday - all the conditioned fear is like "Hi! You should be worried about this!"
The funny thing is there isn't that much to be worried about. I woke up with my foot not feeling sore, and just a little swollen. So I can tell it's more about habit and conditioning.
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2015 : 22:38:41
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It's interesting to keep this thread, it's almost like a recovery log. 12/22: Worried about walking 32 blocks. 1/13: Considers walking ~30 blocks roundtrip routine, experiences few symptoms with that roundtrip distance.
I am still experiencing periods of acute worry, often with very small and random triggers such as lightly kicking the left foot with the right. Only hurt after I thought "Shouldn't that bother me?"
Still a fair amount of day to day irritation but I mostly ignore it. While I sometimes habitually sit to wait for something, or stand more on my right foot, the habits are less now. Conditioned pain is definitely still an issue and it does bother me more than it probably would in an uninjured joint because it smacks of injury or the potential for future injury. Conditioned fear is a bigger issue. Although I overcame the distance barrier (the first one at least) the barriers around more adventurous activities are still present. Hoping that in a month or so I'll be back saying I've cracked a few more. :)
I haven't been able to really determine a particular cause for this round although I think that general angst about approaching middle age and the fragility of life is playing a role, probably combined with more typical work and house stress. I have been to the OT once more and find diminishing returns, except that the relaxation state that she induces is better than any other one I've gotten. I really must figure out how to do that on my own.
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Oh, back again, back again.
