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JackieC

USA
7 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2015 :  08:19:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am new here, though like many, I have been a lurker for a while. I wanted to thank Ace for how helpful his keys and posts have been in my recovery from TMS. Balto's posts on fear have been very helpful as well. Many of you have given me hope and continue to do so, as I am still in the process of healing. The recognition of how I dealt with most things in life in such a strained manner was a huge thing for me. Changing those automatic responses is taking a bit of time, but at least now I am aware of them.

My question for Ace is in regards to my eyesight. I am terribly nearsighted (-4.75) and I've read how you have improved your sight with the Bates Method. I know you removed your glasses most of the time, but did you also do any of the excercises like palming, sunning, or swinging? The hardest part for me is going without my glasses or contacts. I did get a pair of glasses that are a diopter lower than what I need. I appreciate any advise you have.

Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/09/2015 :  16:46:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Jackie,
Thank you for your feedback. That is very helpful to me. I'm glad your aware of what I talk about and the rest is really just time and practice.

Yes I'm am really improving in terms of my eyesight. As you will be able to see, eyesight fluctuates. It is more blurry the more your mind is strained. It responds exactly like pain symptoms. Usually, once again,being in a rush is the most important reason.

Actually you should never wear contacts as you cannot easily take them off when you don't need them. I would advise you to use your weaken pair of glasses only when you need them (like driving). Otherwise, I would suggest not using them at all. You have to accept that your eyes are blurry for a period of time. Like any other symptom you cannot force your eyes to work but try to relax them but more importantly relax your mind. Blinking is helpful as well as breathing. Get an eye chart and practice reading it at close distances, slowly increasing the distance.

Yes I do the palming, swinging and sunning, but you can't just do them as a ritual or exercise. Like affirmations, they must help you accomplish your goal of relaxing your mind and eyes (the chronic push). They breaking the intense train of thought associated with rushing. It is a very slow process to reverse what the healthcare industry did to us as children by putting glasses on us.

Edited by - Ace1 on 03/09/2015 16:55:55
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JackieC

USA
7 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2015 :  16:00:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Ace,

Thank you for your reply. That all makes sense. I think the hardest part is accepting the blur, but I'm going to give a go. It's crazy to find out that everything we believed about our bodies (like what causes chronic pain and bad eyesight) is completely false. It seems like a lot of useless suffering.

I had been making really great progress with my bodily symptoms until last summer when my dad took his own life. He had been dealing with chronic pain for many years, but never accepted the TMS theory. He was too addicted to pain killers, which I believe altered his reasoning abilities and made the pain worse. We were very close and it has truly broken my heart. I feel like I'm doing well with accepting it. At least he is at peace now and no longer suffering, which was really difficult to watch. I know the continual stress of watching him deteriorate is what kicked in my chronic issues. I miss him terribly, but I know I will get through this. When my mind calms down, I know my body will too. My friend Steve Ozanich has been a big support through it all. He has helped me continue to reach for the light. He gave me great advise in an email that I will share because I believe it will help others.

"Let go, laugh more, help others, stay physically active and socially engaged, live with a purpose, stick with a daily transparent act, never think of the body, see light where darkness exists, and BELIEVE you will be okay."

Thanks for shining a little more light in the world Ace. Your guidance has helped me a lot.

Jackie
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/15/2015 :  09:56:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks again Jackie for your feedback. I don't know how much my list is helping bc I don't hear much feedback.

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. God bless you with this hard time. I don't think anyone really understands how you feel.

I want you to know this and it might not take your sorrow away but maybe it will give you hope. You are the pioneer in your family. You are the one who is breaking the habits of generations and the new habits and ways will transfer down to your children and down to theirs. Your life reality will improve as your trust in God grows (acceptance),which is what is necessary to heal. Your future is bright. Don't give up on the goal and it will all fall in place.
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JackieC

USA
7 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2015 :  11:43:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks Ace for the words of hope and encouragement. I was apprehensive about posting here because I am such a private person. But soon after my dad died I felt a desire to help others. I never want anyone to feel as hopeless as my dad obviously did.

It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for me. I first discovered Dr. Sarno 4 years ago. I will forever be grateful to him for leading me to the door of healing, but it took more to show me how to walk through it. I read every TMS book written and made the mistake of obsessively needing more and more information...more validation. And then I stopped. What seemed to resonate for me and give me bodily clues of being on the right track was a simpler approach than paying someone $150 an hour 3 days a week ad infinitum. (I met with a Freudian psychoanalyst and she actually prescribed this for me) I began corresponding with SteveO after reading his book and his antidote seemed much simpler. He continued to tell me I could do this on my own and that it took a change of perspective to bring me peace. If I saw the world through different eyes, then I wouldn't generate all of the negative emotions that cause such turmoil in the body. I could be at peace.

After recognizing that I was continually wound up tighter than an 8 day clock, as my mom would say, it took me a while to begin the process of unwinding my overwhelmed nervous system. It is still something I am working on and I see why it can take a while to heal. It takes time to unlearn such terrible habits. Books by Eckhart Tolle, John Kehoe, and Byron Katie have all been helpful at guiding me through this as well as your Keys. I think your Keys are so important, as was Steve's work, because it is coming from someone who has experienced the chronic pain issue. It gave me the knowledge that the pain is just an indicator that I need to do more work...let go more, laugh more, stop trying to be in control, and as you said acceptance. It has truly been a spiritual journey. I'm so glad I didn't listen to the neurosurgeon who was angry because I wouldn't have surgery. I know if it had worked it would have just moved somewhere else in my body.

So now I will listen and try to catch myself sooner when I head down the path of stress and worry and control and feeling the need to hurry. The affirmations are helpful in breaking the loop that all of those things create. I've done them so much that I even find myself turning over in bed in the middle of the night, still in a sleepy stupor repeating, "I am calm and relaxed." When I'm around my difficult mom, "I forgive and let go easily." They are mantras that lead me back to my breath and the present moment.

I know I will reach my goal of a body free of symptoms, because I truly want to change my way of seeing and being in the world. I have realized that few things are worth losing my peace of mind. Even the tough experiences like losing someone you love can flow through you in a natural and organic way. I could sit around every day and think of things about my dad that make me sad and angry, but I don't see the purpose in that.
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/20/2015 :  16:46:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you Jackie for what you have shared. Keep up the good work, your doing a great job!
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JackieC

USA
7 Posts

Posted - 03/29/2015 :  12:47:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hey Ace,

Just a little update on my vision. I stopped wearing my contacts almost 3 weeks ago and only wear my lowered prescription glasses when I need them. It took a few days to get used to the blur. A couple days ago I put on my old full script glasses and they actually hurt my eyes! It reminded me of when I was younger and got a new pair of stronger glasses. They always made me feel sick and dizzy until I adjusted to them. So maybe a little progress?
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 04/01/2015 :  20:20:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Jackie. Dr bates felt that it was almost impossible to correct your vision if you continued with glasses. 3 weeks to be honest is too little time to have made much progress. There are exceptions to the rule, just like in tms there are dramatic quick recoveries, so there are with the vision. I think these dramatic recoveries are usually shifts in tms symptoms and usually at the expense of another bodily area. Regardless you are doing good. The only way to tell if your making progress is to buy yourself a reading chart and see how far you can read down the chart at 20 feet without your glasses. You will see that your vision is not consistent, but changes to how badly you are strained. When you can read 20/20 most of the time is when you have reached a cured state. I'm not there yet but I can gain enough mental control to read 20/20 temporarily as long as my mind is not overly strained. This is a journey of years to be honest. You'll however get used to living with blur, which you must do before a cure becomes possible.
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JackieC

USA
7 Posts

Posted - 04/02/2015 :  07:34:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Ace,

Oh, I know if there are any changes that they're quite insignificant at this early stage. I just thought it was strange how my old glasses felt too strong. I've had them for almost 20 years and wore them when I took out my contacts. At times they even felt too weak.

Going without glasses is getting a little easier, especially on bright, sunny days. I had dinner one night in a dimly lit restaurant and I wasn't sure which part of my friend's face I was looking at!

I look at this as part of my tms journey, knowing it will take time to reverse the strain in all parts of my body. It took years to get here. Just the recognition of how I react to so many things in my life was a huge step on the path to healing. It's still automatic in many areas, but now I can catch it midstream. I know it would be easier if I did so before the boat even got in the water. But I'll get there.

I printed out an eye chart. I'm sure it's smaller than a doctor's. I'll look for one I can purchase.
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