Posted - 07/12/2010 : 09:58:27 Thank you so much for your acknowledgement and encouragement (and this summer is better than last summer!). The good news is that people have jumped in to help my daughter--she and her family have found another place to live, probably better than where they are now.
Youíre so right about family break-ups and distance. Iím estranged from my family of origin but feel like Iím very much the lone adult for my children and thatís a tremendous weight. I think probably being able to compose and write coherently is a large part of the problem for me because Iím dealing with it all intellectually, but not emotionally feeling the impact, and we all know that has to go somewhere!
Posted - 07/11/2010 : 17:11:24 WOW Erata! You may be off the TMS chart for life's stress creating events. Your reservoir is probably at the 100 year flood stage. In the old days we had family to support us, but now it's the break-up of the family and far-flung family members that are creating the tensions.
What's amazing is that you are able to write such a coherent and composed post about your situation. Hang in there.
Posted - 07/09/2010 : 17:12:41 Okay, I know stress levels in my life have been off the charts in the past, but in the last month, my contentious divorce, after a 20 year marriage, finally was finalized and my exís ridiculous law suit against me was dropped. But I canít sit back and take in the relief or the enormity of the divorce, because Iím in the middle of helping someone I dearly love plan a major, major life event (and I canít admit Iím pissed about the bad timing of this without hurting others, but really, its terrible timing for me, personally!)
In the last week, the papers on what weíve worked hard and long to accomplish (saving the family farm) have been signed, I lost a beloved pet, my daughterís fiancť had an accident, and my other daughter, who lives thousands of miles away, with two small children, called me yesterday to tell me sheís being stalked by someone who is clearly mentally ill. She was hysterical, but I couldnít react emotionally because I had to try to be clear headed and collected enough to help her calm down and sort out what needs to be done in order to protect herself and her kids.
Where Iím going with this, in addition to the Ďstress testí, is that, except for mourning my pet, Iím unaware of any feelings (like intense fear for my daughterís and grandchildrenís safety) I have about these events because I generally roll up my sleeves and step up to the plate and deal. Instead of being able to access my feelings, Iíve been in relentless pain. Does this sound familiar?