| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| hikergirl |
Posted - 01/13/2012 : 14:52:35
Hello:
Back in the fall of 09, i was experiencing a bout of pretty severe rt sided SI pain along with spasms and the whole shebang..i had had bouts of this over the years, would last a month or two and then go away. This time though it seemed to be hanging on longer than usual. Eventually around the first of the year (2011), my back started to feel better, but i had developed a cold and was fighting that, I next had an outbreak of HSV2 (on upper left buttock) which I hadn't had in a while; i attributed this to my suppressed immune system due to my cold. Anyway, a week or so later, I developed left sided vulvar pain. I of course went to my PCP, who ran the gamut of tests and could find nothing wrong...I then saw my gyno who could also find nothing wrong. I finally saw a vulvovaginal specialist, who said she thought it could be post herpetic neuralgia combined with musculoskeletal issues...I also had an ache deep inside left thigh, almost at pubic rami, anyway, basically she didn't know. The jury is out on whether HSV2 can cause neuralgia as there is no documented cases as such, only for shingles which is a different type of herpes. SHe started me on low dose neurontin (300mg) which seemed to help a little but symptoms persisted. Now during all of this time, i was frantically searching the internet, getting myself into such a panic I couldn't see straight. I was convinced I would end up bedridden with pain, my life as i knew it, OVER....4 mos later I became pregnant, happily so :)...and I came off of the neurontin. I was ok for the first trimester, pain wise, then groin pain started and progressively got worse as the pregnancy wore on, specifcally the left side. Of course the entire pregnancy I was convinced I had PN (pudendal neuralgia). My symptoms matched up except for the I did not have sitting pain which is a classic PN symptom. I still was convinced that was what it was and was petrified to deliver vaginally as it would make my symptoms worse. I lost sleep, cried, panicked the whole pregnancy, not only over my pain, but also for the health of my baby, I was 43, and have a history of premature delivery, my other daughter was born at 29.5 weeks. Fast forward, I delivered a very healthy baby girl in April 2011 via c-section due to my own choosing over the fear of the vaginal birth. Things were good for a couple of months, i was walking every day with stroller, but still had a bit of left sided groin/inside sits bone/sits bone pain but nothing crazy...had no sitting pain....because of this leftover pain, i started to panic again, my obgyn suggested I start PT, now I am still convinced I have PN in my mind....i go to PT and my PT feels where I am complaining of tenderness and she says 'oh its the obturator internus' muscle...well I go home and google Obturator Internus and FREAKKKK OUTTTT!!!! the pudendal nerve is extremely related to the OI muscle, it like runs through it or something...so i read this, and over the next weeks to months I develop sitting pain...I CAN NO LONGER SIT or it feels as if someone has kicked me right in the behind...my sits bone is sore and tender to press as is inside of it...also still some vaginal wall tenderness...now this is ALL Left sided only...
So sorry to be so long winded but I want to get it all out there so I can determine if I am heading down the right road in thinking this could be TMS...
In the year before ALL of this pain started, I divorced my alcoholic husband of 9 years, met someone pretty quickly, sold my home, and moved myself and my daughter to another state, about an hour away from family and friends. I have a hx of anxiety and hypochondria, the hypochondria as far back as maybe 8yrs old. I also have a horrible family history that I am constantly freaking over, my sister had breast cancer and my mother ovarian so every 6 mos I have to go for screenings. I feel like I am doomed and I feel live i live under a feeling of doom every day of my life.
i have read sarno's book a few times, have tried my hand at journaling as well, can't say I have 'committed' though. I am having a hard time convincing myself this is TMS. Does anyone have thoughts as to whether this could really be TMS?
Could the pain really be only on one side of my pelvis? I know Dr. Sarno states that the body is smart, and if it exploits areas that are areas of injury already. Being in a new relationship I was freaking out about HSVII breakouts even though I hadn't had one in over a year, but I was constantly thinking about my pelvic area..i never had breakouts in the genital area but was scared to death i would and i didn't want to pass it to my partner. Then i develop left sided vulvar pain? I don't know!!!!
I need SOME thoughts as to if I should pursue this path or not???? HELP!!!
My current symptoms are (ALL Left sided):
sit bone and inside sit bone
left sided vag pain
sitting exacerbates the pain
standind and walking the pain is minimal, i have no urinary or bowel issues, and no sexual dysfunction issues.
Thank you to any and all who want to comment and I am soo ohappy to have found this group |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| lara |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 06:23:38
quote:
Originally posted by Wavy Soul
When I was struggling with this, in the early 90s, I was married to someone I didn't want to ****. I couldn't really face this fact, and I had all these symptoms very very intensely. I was doing therapy on the basis that I believed it was my subconscious stuff. I went to a zillion docs, straight and alternate, all of whom had a theory, many of whom offered me surgery, all of whom cost me an arm and a leg and almost other organs!
Not long after my marriage ended, I went home for a high school reunion and hooked up with my high school boyfriend. No pain! Aha!
Of course, all kinds of other symptoms now arose. It's a kind of physical miracle what the flesh can design to keep us busy and not present with our exquisite existential agony (which changes into ecstasy when fully experienced and unresisted).
Again, there is also very good TMS advice focused on this issue by Abigail Stedley, who recovered from this issue. Although someone rightly said above that TMS is TMS, it is helpful to hear from someone who had a successful TMS recovery from a symptom that you are struggling with.
Love is the answer, whatever the question
Lol i should give it a try!
I woke up with a good sense of humor today
Have everybody a wonderful day!
Lara |
| lara |
Posted - 03/08/2012 : 09:36:13
Hey everyone,
Thank you so much for your support,i wish i was a full english spoken and express myself better here.
I am looking for a therapist,i am also getting off,slowly of neurontin,but i am feeling nauseous,like flu symptoms and very fatigued.
I haven't mentioned that i am going through early menopause,and i am on HRT,i don't know if this exarberates my tms symptoms.
@Carolyn please keep posting here your story helps so much to me,i just can't believe that a year ago i was runnin g 6 miles everyday except on weekends and now i am laying on this sofa with this stupid pain.
@Wavy Soul,please you haven't said enough,every person that has gone trough the same pain and has recovered helps so much when post their succes,i know Hikegirl and all the peolple that suffer same pain appreciate your encouragment and support.again pleas eforgive my english ughh this is another thing that makes me mad,!!! this language barrier..but i perfectly can read it so please don't stop posting here!
Lara
|
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 03/07/2012 : 21:47:56
I use coffee too, but "in reverse."
Okay, I think I have said enough in this thread!
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/07/2012 : 21:18:18
quote:
Originally posted by ajm222
Anyone else here have trouble having a bowel movement?
Sorry Ajm, can't help you in that department, have you tried drinking coffee? That does it for me, I'm what you'd call a "coffee responder".
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
======================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/page/Find+a+TMS+Doctor+or+Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
| ajm222 |
Posted - 03/07/2012 : 21:08:06
Anyone else here have trouble having a bowel movement? When I go, no matter how much I try to relax it feels like I'm passing it out of a very narrow opening. My BMs are pretty small. I had surgery there twice for an anal fissure and would swear I had anal stenosis to some degree but two colo rectal surgeons have told me the opening is more than large enough to have very large and normal BMs. I told them it didn't seem possible. They just said eat more fiber. I also have pressure and pain down there regularly and incomplete BMs. I'd love to have one large BM to prove to myself it's possible but it hasn't happened in 2 years since I started obsessively worrying about this again (well over a decade after the surgeries). |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 03/07/2012 : 11:39:01
When I was struggling with this, in the early 90s, I was married to someone I didn't want to ****. I couldn't really face this fact, and I had all these symptoms very very intensely. I was doing therapy on the basis that I believed it was my subconscious stuff. I went to a zillion docs, straight and alternate, all of whom had a theory, many of whom offered me surgery, all of whom cost me an arm and a leg and almost other organs!
Not long after my marriage ended, I went home for a high school reunion and hooked up with my high school boyfriend. No pain! Aha!
Of course, all kinds of other symptoms now arose. It's a kind of physical miracle what the flesh can design to keep us busy and not present with our exquisite existential agony (which changes into ecstasy when fully experienced and unresisted).
Again, there is also very good TMS advice focused on this issue by Abigail Stedley, who recovered from this issue. Although someone rightly said above that TMS is TMS, it is helpful to hear from someone who had a successful TMS recovery from a symptom that you are struggling with.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 03/07/2012 : 08:12:28
@Back-2-it
I couldn't have said it better myself.
@Lara,
I had had surgery and on a subsequent surgery was told that I had an enourmous amount of scar tissue (adhesions) so I also was on the entrapped nerve track of thinking for a while. But it wasn't. I was also aware that I was clenching all of my muscles down there which I told myself was in response to the pain. Maybe it was in part but the tension increases the pain which incresase the clenching... it's a hard cycle to break. I did many different things aimed at relaxing those muscles and reducing my heightened autonomic responses. Along with journaling out my emotions religiously which I am still convinced was the most important, I listened to guided relaxation tapes- practiced meditation every single day, tried to consciously relax my pelvic floor every time I thought of it, spent some time in a hot tub, wore thermacare heat wraps in my undies around the house which brought me some relief and took occassional muscle relaxants. I found that physical therapy made things much worse so you might want to avoid that path. I also did some psychotherapy for quite some time though that was mostly after the pain was gone to deal with a lot of the anxiety that came up. It actually took quite a long time (several years) and I didn't find therapy dramatic but eventually ended up realizing a lot of things about my upbringing that I think were at the root of a lot of my repressed emotions. In the end I think it did me a world of good in many subtle ways because I recognize why I react to certain things the way I do and I think it has played a role in why I manage to stay pretty much pain free. I happened to have good insurance at the time which made it possible for me to continue for so long so if it's an option for you, give it a try. Just don't go and talk about the physical pain! My therapist was not familiar with Sarno's work but I told her about it and she was open minded, read the book, immediately realized it was true and started sharing it with her patients. She would sometimes tell me about how much it had helped some of her patients.
Statistics will show you that surgeries for these various conditions don't work and often make things worse. I had seven different surgeries, two botox injections down there and was on the verge of letting them cut the internal anal sphincter when I came on here and someone warned me against it- I'm SO glad I didn't- who knows what lasting effects that might have had on me. So don't consent to anything drastic. The mind-body approach works. You will be amazed and them you will find yourself back on here telling your success story to try to help others.
Carolyn |
| Back2-It |
Posted - 03/06/2012 : 21:41:29
Just a word about nerve involvement and possible pain from it. I had surgery for gallbladder and was fine for several months, then pain developed on my side. After many tests I had three possible things causing the pain: a trapped abdominal nerve; a problem hernia; and a herniated disc mid back, which can refer pain to the same area. I was finally convinced that I had a trapped abdominal nerve from surgical scars. I went to a neurologist and he was not sure at all about a trapped nerve, and I thought, "hell, if he isn't sure, I'm not sure, either, so it isn't." The pain reduced almost overnight and finally went away in my abdomen and side.
Here is what I have learned the very hard way: When you are anxious and under stress for a very long period of time your core muscles have a tendency to contract and not release. This involves your back, abdomen and pelvis, all controlled by the autonomic nervous system.
My trapped nerve was not trapped, my hernia was not a problem, but my core muscles were contracted and could not release, because they are controlled by the autonomic nervous center. I
You might gain a better understanding of body physiology if you read Thomas Hanna's "Somatics". Your nerves, as Dr. Sarno points out, become involved in muscle contraction and can cause the burning and electric shock types of pain, and more. Sarno explains very well the spine part of the body, and is responsible for me disregarding my herniated disc. But...when it comes to a blow-by-blow description of muscles under stress and duress, I would recommend taking at look at "Somatics". It makes -- to me-- a good deal of sense.
Once you can become convinced of what cumulative stress can do to you, you can really begin the recovery by understanding that the pain is distressing but not dangerous.
Good luck!
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
| lara |
Posted - 03/06/2012 : 16:58:51
quote:
Originally posted by hikergirl
Hi Carolyn,
I am struggling so much with this pain. I cannot sit at all without deep left sided posterior groin pain as well as this horrible crawling deep sensation radiating into my left vag wall. It is horrible! If i do sit for any amount of time, I feel as if I have been kicked in the 'A#$' and sit bone inside are actually tender to the touch. Did you have this type of symptom? I HATE that I keep needing reinforcment but I just want to know if there is someone else out there who has this pain.
All my pain is left sided,rectal,vaginal ,perineal ,coccygeal ,sacral ,ughh it's day 12 on my journaling and my pain is getting worse,my mind is playing me tricks,i was thinking that maybe scar tissue grew and the nerve is entraped,but hikegirl you haven't had a surgery down there,so you have more reasons to think your pain is not physical.
Today my pain is 9/10 and this burning that makes me want t rip off all my genitals!i want to wake up tomorrow and be pain free!
|
| Carolyn |
Posted - 03/06/2012 : 13:07:22
@hiker girl,
I had the pain for a long time and it was always evolving and changing slightly as different pelvic floor muscles became the focus so at some point I did have something similar to what you describe. Has yours always been exactly the same? How long have you had it? Are you journaling?
Carolyn |
| TaylorJoh |
Posted - 03/06/2012 : 12:29:47
Awwww hikergirl, I understand the need for reinforcement. Trust me I have suffered my share of pelvic/vaginal pain. So much so, I was housebound for 2 years. Literally never left the house unless it was for doctor appointments. I wouldn't just have pain, it was excruciating. I thought I would end up in a wheelchair. It was thought that the pain was due to a massive fibroid tumor, but after surgery nothing changed for me.
What was holding me back from getting better even though I knew about TMS was that I could never be convinced it was truly TMS until the tumor was removed. Once that was gone, all obstacles was out of my way for TMS work. And I'm about 90% better. I can walk, stand and live life now. I do have quite a bit of ache if I'm on my feet a long time or walk long distance, but eventually that will go away.
Besides doing the TMS work, make sure your body is relaxed. Release your stomach muscles and that will help release you pelvic area. It will feel uncomfortable for awhile as your not used to it. But keep doing it. We don't realize how much we tense our pelvic muscles up. Throughout the day, check in with yourself. Take note of your muscles and tension and then just relax it all.
Also, what I did to help alleviate pain and pressure when I was sitting...
Fold two bath towels so that it is long. You will probably have to fold it 3 times. On both sides of the chair where your thighs go, put the towels there. There should be about a 5 inch space between the towels. When you sit on that your vagina and tailbone should barely touch the chair. I'm a graphic/web designer I have no choice but to sit for hours a day. That trick really saved me as the muscle between the vagina and anus was so tight it hurt with any type of pressure. And of course my tailbone too.
I can sit without it now, but I still feel more comfortable with the towels. I hope that helps you. I know what you're going through and you will get better. You just have to be convinced it's TMS and follow TMS protocol. Like Carolyn, it will all become a distant memory. |
| hikergirl |
Posted - 03/06/2012 : 11:05:20
Hi Carolyn,
I am struggling so much with this pain. I cannot sit at all without deep left sided posterior groin pain as well as this horrible crawling deep sensation radiating into my left vag wall. It is horrible! If i do sit for any amount of time, I feel as if I have been kicked in the 'A#$' and sit bone inside are actually tender to the touch. Did you have this type of symptom? I HATE that I keep needing reinforcment but I just want to know if there is someone else out there who has this pain. |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 03/05/2012 : 21:43:07
I agree that healing from pelvic pain in whatever form is no different than treating any TMS syndrome so I don't have any advise on that other than that anyone on this board who has been successful will tell you. You just have to commit to doing the journaling and if you can't seem to make yourself do it, journal about why you don't want to journal. I had a workbook that gave me daily topics to get me started- Dr. Shubinger? maybe. Just decide that you are going to live your life as though there is no pain and allow yourself to feel defiant about it - get mad at the pain when it comes- and I mean really really mad! If you're by yourself at home, literally scream at it to STOP IT! I am not going to take this from you anymore! Then observe and see what happens- maybe you'll see your pain shift to another location or change in some way that will help the lightbulb go off in your head that your symptoms don't make sense and it must be TMS.
I also quit all forms of doctors and therapies- medications included (save for the occassional Xanax because I all of a sudden started having anxiety when I started this journey), all of which were just making me worse anyways and kept me focussed on the thought that I had a physical problem. Read and reread any book you can get your hands on to reinforce the mindbody connection and everytime you feel the pain, notice the feeling of powerlessness and desperation that comes with it and focus on that emotion instead of the pain. It really is all about taking the power back from the pain. As you have little successes, journal about them and remind yourself of them when the pain is back. For me it wasn't just gone one day, it was a process and even once I felt cured, I would occassionally feel that old familiar pain out of nowhere but as soon as I realized what is was, I could make it go away very quickly. I had not had pain in a very long time and I was revisiting the town where I used to live (I had moved away in the midst of all the pain) and waiting in line at my old favorite deli and all of a sudden I had the pain- clearly triggered by whatever memories or mental cues the place was bringing back for me. I almost laughed out loud- and then poof the pain was gone. This TMS stuff is crazy but it is true!! You just have to get to the point where you can see that for yourself. Persistance.
I'll try to check back in occassionally- pain just isn't a part of my life anymore so I don't think of it often. You absolutely can get there. I think the people that struggle and don't get better sometimes just can't take the leap and drop the physical treatments and stick with the reading/journaling as long as it takes. Just start, you have nothing to lose.
Carolyn |
| lara |
Posted - 03/03/2012 : 16:38:50
quote:
Originally posted by Jerseygal
If anyone has any tips on how to get rid of Interstitial Cystitis using the mindbody approach, I would love to hear from them.
Jerseygal,
What makes you think there's a diferent mindbody approach for getting rid of interstitial cystitis?
Use the same tips all of us use,i am not an expert here,but i knnow Carolyn,Ozaganes,Tennistom ,Darko can help you .
But one thing i know all of us start with the " knowledge" (that our subcouncious mind is causing the pain)as the penicilin of any of our issues.
Carolyn we need you here  |
| Jerseygal |
Posted - 03/02/2012 : 20:36:17
If anyone has any tips on how to get rid of Interstitial Cystitis using the mindbody approach, I would love to hear from them. |
| lara |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 09:15:02
Thank you Wavy!
Today my wikipedia juornaling was very painful,i never tough i was so damaged by that event of my mother leaving to the USA when i was 15,there's one of my sister that brings the past to me,i hadn't seen her in years and last year she came ,with a lot of problems herself,and that's exactly when this pain started..she brings me sadness and bad memories but i still don't know why. she played the role as mother with me ,but she wasn't! ughh i love.hate her!
How are you Hikegirl? i am siting more ,and walking more too ! yay for me
Lara |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 02/28/2012 : 23:11:04
There is a TMS website by Abigail Stedley SPECIFICALLY about female pelvic pain being TMS.
http://anamsong.com/coaching/
I had these symptoms in my 40s - I now realize it was TMS - now at 60, NADA (painwise) in that department.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| lara |
Posted - 02/28/2012 : 16:40:49
Hikegirl,
Thank you so much,i started yesterday the wiki program,mm
i just got a phone call from my drs office saying that the MRN is normal,and that the urines test culture came back positive with bacteria.
Is it normal" to have uti's with pelvic pain? i mean ,one thing is the "pain" caused by the uncouncious mind and another thing is a real infection cause dby bacteria...so overwhelmed.
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| hikergirl |
Posted - 02/28/2012 : 14:12:25
@Carolyn,
your post(s) are encouraging to me...its amazing that you were able to overcome such a long history with this sort of pain. I can now think of YOU each time I just want to throw it in, crawl into a corner and cry. YOU are my new evidence. I don't wnat to forget Ozagnes too (thank you Ozagnes!!!) as she has also given me confidence in her own sucess'. This is a battle but one I am willing to engage in; I feel in my heart it is the road I am supposed to follow. I will admit it is so hard to continually fight with your mind and reel it back in when it starts to give you all the pieces of evidence that the problem is physical..I feel at times I have one toe in and one toe out but I am working on it! I am consciously trying to be aware and pull my mind back each time, looking instead on what i'm feeling at the moment, and also I am trying to 'breathe' each time I start to monitor the pain. I'm finding that when I am journaling, my mind will wander to the pain and say, 'is it gone?' ...and since it isn't, it wants to give me evidence to make me quit! I have to keep pushing but at the same time stop focusing on an'End Result'. I'm putting too much pressure on myself to get it done right, done quick and be pain free!
Me? Pressure on myself? Self Critical? NEVER! (ya right)
@lara
There is a structured program to get started on the TMS wiki that I found very helpful. |
| lara |
Posted - 02/26/2012 : 17:21:52
Carolyn,
I read and read Dr Sarnos book,but can't start,for some reason i get so confused from where to start?
i KNOW I HAVE THE PERSONALITY OF A TMS'R i am a perfeccionist,i also have noticed i am always trying to please everyone,and very emotional.
Do i journal? and what else? how do i start?
did you stop taking medications suddenly ?or slowly?
what about exercising? or sex? i want to live! go to the movies,a restaurant,pta's meetings ,etc
Guide me please ,how do i start this healing process?
Thank you so much for responding .
Lara.
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