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Screensize: 640 x 480 800 x 600 1024 x 768 1280 x 1024 UserName: Password: Format Mode: Basic  Help  Prompt  Format: Font Andale Mono Arial Arial Black Book Antiqua Century Gothic Comic Sans MS Courier New Georgia Impact Lucida Console Script MT Bold Stencil Tahoma Times New Roman Trebuchet MS Verdana   Size 1 2 3 4 5 6   Color Black Red Yellow Pink Green Orange Purple Blue Beige Brown Teal Navy Maroon LimeGreen Message: * HTML is OFF * Forum Code is ON Smilies [quote][i]Originally posted by shawnsmith[/i] [br]Hi RikR, I want to first say that I am sorry to hear of your pain and suffering, and I totally understand your feelings. The place you are mentally in right now is the source of most of your suffering. In essence you are, if I am reading your words correctly, feeling sorry for yourself and believe you have been wronged throughout life. This has generated an inner dialogue which tells you that you are no good and that your life has little value or meaning. As a result, you possess a low estimation of yourself and put yourself down. These thoughts fill you with a lot of inner tension and anger directed at yourself which has turned into physical symptoms. But I believe, as do many people on this message board, that there is indeed a way to emerge from this torment that you find yourself in. I am going to offer my personal advice and others will also, I am sure, chime in with their words of wisdom. Try not to be too overwhelmed with the data you receive. Your question regarding how you work on that rage is that you have to start seeing yourself in a new light. Begin to see yourself as being special, with value, purpose and meaning in your life, regardless of what others say or what your mind tells you. This is where I recommend applying positive affirmations to counter this negative mind-chatter which continues unceasingly in your brain and keeps you in a state of suffering. ie: "I accept myself for who and what I am." or "I am an incredible human being with a lot of amazing abilities." First of all, I want you to read this article on affirmations which I feel will be a helpful first step: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8187 Secondly, I invite you to listen to some of these audio clips from Ekhart Tolle, especially those marked with a star. When doing so, try to see how his words apply to your unique situation. This is not religious teachings, but mindfulness exercises: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8097 Finally, I invite you to read Ace's (he is a physician) keys to healing everyday for several weeks and, to the best of your ability, seek to integrate them into your daily life: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7765 Pay close attention to key # 11: "Eliminate all negative talk and stop yourself from going down a negative line of thinking. This is "negative" mind power." You are going to heal. You are going to post your success story here. Believe in yourself that you can and will do it. Shawn [/quote]   Check here to include your profile signature.