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curingCFS
36 Posts |
 Posted - 01/09/2008 : 05:30:48
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Well gang. I've been doing the TMS work and though I didn't feel certain of work (energy level not normal still). I thought I could try and give it my all part time.
Last night my car had white smoke billowing out and I had to pull over. Radiator I suspect. Well that level of stress triggered depressive symptoms of which I've been fairly stable for a couple months (I'm on medication). So I didn't even think about depression being an issue as far as making an all out effort to work (I haven't worked in over a decade). But if that level of stress can hit me, I know I can't work yet.
I'll get there. I think I put too much pressure on myself, wanting a job to dangle in front of me carrot like to help pull me through to a level of wellness to be able to work.
I know it's a process, but dang it...
I get a little better and then whammo,
Thanks for reading |
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koukla
70 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2008 : 05:38:16
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| Go easy on yourself regarding your limitations. Whenever I mentally beat myself up or feel guilty, it ends up getting worse. I am confident that you will get back to whatever normal means for you and be able to work at something fulfilling. |
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curingCFS
36 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2008 : 08:01:18
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| Thank you for the kind words. I'm doing what I can today. Now the thing I'm not looking forward to is calling to say I'm not taking the job. Eh, it can't wait till tommorrow. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2008 : 13:27:23
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Those things are definitely tough. When stresses and accidents happen emotions naturally come up. I definitely had major emotional reactions both to a bike accident last October and to getting hit by a bike yesterday (I was walking). It's a normal part of going through stressful experiences, but I think it can also bring up deeper past emotions in people with TMS. Perhaps your depression recurrence is trying to protect you from these emotions?
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2008 : 11:36:38
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curingCFS,
If you look back through the messageboard you'll find dozens of tales of TMSers suffering a setback - it almost seems like part of the recovery process. But when you get over this you will really feel a sense of achievement and know that you are on the path to recovery.
Anne |
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curingCFS
36 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2008 : 13:42:47
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Thank you Anne and Armchair,
I was gonna take a breakfast waitress position in an opening restaurant that promised to be non-stop busy, non-stop stress---REALLY perfectionistic to think after being on and off housebound and debilitated for 2 decades I should have my first foray into the working world THAT job.
Since depression is newly acquired and I'm as of yet not so resilient I decided I was gonna work for myself and clean houses. I did it before long ago and for sure that is 0 stress. But enough physical activity to say heck no tms, the pain and fatigue aint gonna get me.
It's really not so easy to treat depression in the same way I find. I'm not able to lose the fear of its formidable power. Sarno has put depression as TMS. But Brady and Dr. Daved doesn't. I'd say of all the TMS equivelants depression can have a death sentence so I'm apt to not go the TMS route. If the work I'm doing will help it that is great. But I will stay on the medication the obligatory 9 months to slowly taper off and see if it has resolved. And make all these exciting changes that energy/pain improvment has allowed---like looking toward working and making money.
Thank you,
Linda |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2008 : 20:46:17
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Just as an anecdata point, I was depressed pre- and post-pain and it was Definitely, Definitely TMS for me. It is really hard to deal with just using Sarno techniques, and, as with pain, if it's serious, medication is a big help with the symptoms. I ended up going to a therapist, which is seriously the best decision I ever made in my life. I sort of wish I could go back in time and make my college self go see a counselor!
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 01/11/2008 : 01:15:25
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I have recently been on zoloft (wonderful stuff but does have side effects) but have also seen a psychologist. I felt I had a good understanding of my probs but speaking to someone openly and freely got me to the root of my issues. I tapered off the zoloft and am feeling great now (though still get the odd TMS twinge or stiffness - quite useful as it flags up things that I need to deal with).
The depression is another TMS distraction in my view. Keep delving into your emotions, take exercise to raise your serotonin levels and learn to think positively, try You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay for some ideas.
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curingCFS
36 Posts |
Posted - 01/11/2008 : 04:55:19
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So you both found that depression is a TMS distraction but with it you also used treatments to help such as medication/therapy.
I can sure leave open the idea of it being TMS as long as I don't have to feel I have to forego all treatment.
I'll keep working at it. There isn't money for therapy, I was thinking when I can work of course there will be. But everything in its own time.
Thank you for your honesty.
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 01/11/2008 : 09:13:22
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I think of therapy as a treatment for TMS overall rather than depression specifically, myself.
The thing about therapy that can be challenging is that you need money and time, and usually it's easier to get one or the other! Fitting therapy into an office work schedule is challenging, since most therapists also work office hours. I used to go on Wednesday and I'd be unavailable to work for a few hours, then work late at home. That didn't work out very well, so I switched to an early Monday appointment and then I do a conference call that keeps me late on Monday, so I just have slightly later hours that day. It works really well because the rest of my group also works later for the call, and I don't have to get away and leave at a particular time.
Sometimes group therapy or clinics can be found that are cheaper or have different hours. You might also look into getting some of the emotional-work books. I like The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller and Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. If you search the forum you'll find some more info about them, and you can usually find them at the library. They may help you get some insight into possible emotional issues, but do take care because if the emotions get activated it can be a very intense experience.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2008 : 02:03:05
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Hi there,
I had 3 sessions with a psychologist but an understanding GP helped more and I have probably read more than a dozen self help books (not really self help more like self enlighten). They did the most to get me on the right track.
I'll make a list of them but it will take a while as it is pretty extensive!
anne |
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Was gonna start job--now defeated
