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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
 Posted - 04/09/2008 : 11:16:19
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I have noticed lately that a lot of people are saying "I am tired of digging into the negative things in my past with all this journaling and it does not help."
I think there is a misconception about journaling that you need to do a ton of it and you have to think in detail about all the unpleasant things in your past and make connections to the pain. In fact, doing too much journaling can simply replace the physical obsession you currently have (symptoms) with a psychological one (self-analysis).
Extensive journaling does work for some people and may occasionally be necessary. I would guess I did more than average, because journaling is a familiar and natural way for me to work stuff out. But in general journaling is not supposed to take a huge amount of time or feel like a giant burden, and once you feel like you've covered the important stuff, you can take a step back from it. Try doing it maybe 20-30 minutes a day for a while (this is about the amount of time that Schechter's journal takes to do, for anyone who's tried that), until you feel done, and then only as needed. Make sure you cover all the big bases -- family, friends, work, lifestyle/beliefs, etc. Childhood, life pressures, personality trait pressures (perfectionism/goodism). The goal of journaling is to get some insight into the emotions you might be avoiding, and to get you in the habit of thinking about emotions in connection with pain. Getting the lists written down and acknowledging that there's a lot that's pressureful in life can be a huge relief. Knowing the list is there should you ever need to investigate anything further is also nice. But you don't necessarily need to go beyond a list and maybe a few things expanded on.
Another important thing is not to think too hard about stuff when you're journaling. It's not a big analysis thing, it's more "Here's all the stuff that bugs me and puts pressure on me. Man, this stuff sucks." More venting than analysis.
More important is to start practicing the new habits of thought for TMS. Repudiating the physical. When symptoms come, moving the thinking from the physical thinking psychological -- which means thinking "This is coming from my emotions, I wonder what emotion, maybe it's this one about work since I'm at work", not necessarily "I must now spend 30 minutes thinking about this terrible thing that happened in middle school so that I'm not thinking about symptoms." The change breaks the habit of obsessing on symptoms and helps raise awareness of emotions.
Probably the most important is to prepare for and start to get back to normal life. The glory of TMS & the treatment is that it means we're not sentenced to a limited life with pain as a constant companion, but can get back to the normal life that we always wanted. The return sometimes has to be gradual, but even so, it can be a positive influence to think and plan about things we want to do. I was perhaps lucky (or maybe just determined) but I was actually able to execute my recovery while starting a full-time job. My need to keep up with my work was a great motivating factor in getting me back to full functioning.
Basically, don't replace your symptom obsession with journaling obsession. Keep it to the essentials and work on getting back to real life.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 06:22:10
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| I don't think I'm necessarily a typical TMS case, but I haven't journaled at all. When I first read the books I tried to sit down and write but found it to be a very contrived exercise for me. The thing that helped me was resuming life as normal and not obsessing (learning not to panic or envision myself as forever handicapped in some way every time something started to hurt or feel funny). I think journaling would serve to keep my mind on the pain rather than getting focused on something else. But, I think all TMS cases are varied. The anxiety threads that Hillbilly brought up resonate with me. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 09:18:49
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Yes, everyone is different. Some journal a lot (like me or mizlorinj) and some very little if at all. The understanding and acknowledgement of pressures doesn't always require written outlet.
But I'm pretty sure it serves no one to be obsessed by it and rehash everything to the point of exasperation.
Actually, something a conversation last night reminded me of is that I said in another thread that the important thing in thinking about past issues is how your past relates to your present. The same thing could be taken here -- how does your past relate to your symptoms? Once you have trod that ground and understand the deal, getting back to normal life is paramount.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 17:20:14
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I brought up the same point in another thread.
I 'journal-ed' before I ever even communicated with another soul who had read Sarno's books. I basically recovered in a vacuum...even the person who had recommended HBP to me was out of town when the 'light' went on and I had No one with whom I could discuss my recovery with, and no one to guide me.
Maybe that was a good thing?
Than I started seeing it being recommended here on this forum (years later...there was no forum in 98 or 99) and I have heard there are even workbooks with 'fill in this questionnaire' type of approach , which concerns me. I did it out of a need for a perspective. I don't have any perspective. I am blind. I believe my own lies.
All of us who have TMS need a new perspective, but just like our recoveries, they might be highly individualized.
To what end are we journaling?
"I am a Wolf... I am not a Bobcat, I am not a Lion, I am a wolf. I am a big scary Wolf. I am a Big scary GREY wolf. I am NOT a Bear. Bears are fat and lazy and sleep all the time. In Fact, I hate bears. They are mean. Bears ruin picnics. I am a Wolf. I am a Big Bad wolf. I am NOT a Arctic wolf, I am a Canadian Wolf. I hate the dark. I like Killing other small animals, because I am a wolf.It's not really my fault, because I am a wolf....."
This is of course an excerpt from a journal of a Canadian Grey Wolf.
The reason Animals don't get TMS is that they have no consciousness of being like we do. They construct no false realities, rely on nature and live in the brainstem area. Fight , flight, food, ****, fight. No anxiety. Fear, maybe, but only until the stimuli is removed. No conflict. No TMS.
We live in such a world of our own making that our unconscious minds (where we are all wolves by the way) don't seem to match up with the Bull**** reality we have allowed ourselves to buy into consciously and conscientiously .... and all of us live in a world of our ego's own creation.
The Journal-ing is just a means by which we can start to get a reflection of what that thing really is...that thing that is in conflict with gravity and reality. In fact, it might even reveal to us the very very f-ed up philosophical handcuffs with which we have ensured our sufferings.
If you're journaling and you find out that you are petty,redundant and vain and not quite as dynamic and fascinating as you thought you really were, than you're probably doing a good job and getting the maximum benefit from it.
If you haven't found that, but have put together a fascinating series of vignettes outlining the mystical forces of nature at work through your souls magnification of God's love and mercy, than your back will probably still hurt. You're still a victim, and **** still happens.
I'm glad I found out how petty and vain and messed up I am.
Oh yeah.
I am also a Wolf. I would rather sleep most of the time and get up two hours a day to kill someone else, reproduce, take a dump and go back to sleep.
Damn Bears! |
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1yehmon2
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 23:46:33
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Baseball,
You are a hoot!! Bad day for me, but you made me laugh out loud! |
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swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2008 : 11:15:16
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quote:
If you're journaling and you find out that you are petty,redundant and vain and not quite as dynamic and fascinating as you thought you really were, than you're probably doing a good job and getting the maximum benefit from it.
If you haven't found that, but have put together a fascinating series of vignettes outlining the mystical forces of nature at work through your souls magnification of God's love and mercy, than your back will probably still hurt. You're still a victim, and **** still happens.
Wow, that says a lot. I'm sure I think I'm more fascinating than I am much of the time but you've distilled my problem with journaling right there. I always feel like I'm having to contrive some feelings about things that I've pretty much already looked at in my life. It feels forced and fake. I do better ruminating in my head while doing other things, I think. Revelations tend to come to me at odd times and from places like this.
I so agree about not seeing yourself as a victim. That is such a powerless place. As much as it's possible in this chaotic world, I am in control of me. And if I behave like it, I'm much more likely to succeed than if I sit back and feel like I have no options but victim-hood. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2008 : 17:08:31
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quote:
Revelations tend to come to me at odd times and from places like this.
Yes! Exactly. A lot of my best journaling is done just after I have some insight or make some new connection. This fits in well with "as needed".
Another thing is that if you are writing the same stuff over and over that's not necessarily wrong. One of the things journaling does is relieve pressure, and we're likely to feel pressure in similar ways over and over.
I've been doing an "emotion log" for my therapy the last few weeks and it's remarkable to see how much stuff gets repeated and repeated. It can be an extremely helpful tool to check for patterns that show an ongoing issue that may need investigation.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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jdshetterly
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2008 : 08:27:07
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| I agree with the gist of this thread, where journaling is differnent for everyone. Armchairlinguist is on to something where journaling out of obligation just to journal may not be helpful. Personally, journaling has seemed to really help me. I've probably journaled more than I needed to sometimes, but now I'm just going back and re-reading what I've written and that is helping too. In Sarno's DVD, he specifically mentions reviewing the list of pressures and traits everyday. This was something I missed on the first viewing and upon the 2nd viewing picked it up. I think when you feel "journaled" out, there should be other things to do for the 20-60 minutes/day of treatment. Those other options for me are re-reading my list of pressures/traits, reading posts on this website, and re-reading portions of the book, over and over. Between HBP, The Mindbody Prescription, and the DVD I've gathered that the repetition is the key. I've gone from barely able to move at Xmas '07 to now 85-95% pain free depending on what I'm doing, where I am. I'm now able to lift weights again and even can run 3 miles a clip with some slight pain (3 out of 10) that I'm still overcoming. My experience has been the hardest part of the recovery is the physical to psychological shift in thinking. So, I agree that this is one of the more important parts of the process. It requires a great deal of focus and sometimes is hard to figure which of the numerous items is bothering me. Also, exercising through mild pain is difficult sometimes. The tough part is knowing when to back off and knowing when to push through w/out deprogramming yourself. Journaling has been really effective for me when I've had flare ups and need to stop, sit down and really write out or think about what has been bothering me about the situation. |
Edited by - jdshetterly on 04/20/2008 08:30:11 |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2008 : 12:57:53
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i usually journal when im feeling anxious / crappy to figure out what the f is going on because i've got such a bad habit of not allowing myself to feel my emotions. it's more like a stream of consciousness type of thing, as if i had a sound-proof room in my apartment and i could just go crazy and yell and scream and cry about every little thing that pisses me off about my life. that's the point of journaling, getting your emotions out on the surface so you can see them. it usually takes about a half an hour and i think it's a really healthy exercise to go through for anyone, even people who don't have tms.
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2008 : 13:10:48
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it's important that journaling, like any mode of expression, should feel natural and should come easy to you. you shouldn't really have to force anything. you should just start writing belligerently and stop when you feel like you've gotten it all out. i'd post an example but i think the contents of my journal are too explicit, confusing and poorly spelled to really be of any help. i don't usually use punctuation.
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2008 : 13:21:55
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ah f-ck it, here's what a good journal looks like:
"it sucks to f---ing be me. you know how much it sucks? i cant f---ing go anywhere without this god damn s--t f---ing attacking me. i have to f---ing feel f---ing guilty for everything and it f---ing drives me f---ing nuts. it drives me so nuts i cant f---ing take it anymore and i just have to pass the f--k out and passiv e the f--k out. i f---ing hate it. i cant do what i f---ing want to do because i have s--t f---ing covering me up all the time. IM NOT F---ING INFERIOR YOU A--HOLES F--K ALL OF YOU F--K ALL OF YOU. get the F--K out of my head. you want to see how to make a man go f---ing crazy well i'll f---ing shwo you you pieces of s--t f--k all of you f--k all of you get the f--k out of my f---ing head get the f--k out of my f---ing head"
this is me being angry at how feelings of inferiority are ruining my life. note use of select four letter words and violence and all capitals when i get really angry. your journal should look like this, i don't care who you are.
i love my journal.
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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campbell28
80 Posts |
Posted - 04/22/2008 : 15:34:22
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| that made me laugh. thats what my journal looks like too - it also has a lot of holes in it as i find it very soothing to dig the pen really haard into the paper and drag it around so you get very large F**K -shaped rips going all the way down through the pages. Sometimes the pen breaks too which is also very satisfying... |
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Misconceptions - journaling/thinking psychological
