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richedie
27 Posts |
 Posted - 05/20/2008 : 12:08:08
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Sorry this is long.
Hi everyone, I wanted to give the full list of history on my symptoms and see what the experienced people here believe could be the problem. Currently I am reading Sarno's The Divided Mind.
First, growing up, my mother was very strict about a lot of things, even keeping my room incredibly clean, polishing furniture, LOL - you name it. Parents were very strict as far as who we could play with, etc. It was hard on me at times if I wasn't always clean and neatly dressed. My hobies were critisized so I ended up hiding a lot, such as my guitars, and anything else I liked. I switched from skiing to snowboaridng and that was critisized, job choices, etc. I definitely was a perfectionist as a child and still am although my wife has helped loosen me a bit. My brother and I were never as close as I would have liked and sometimes seems to be a wall between us. I have had problems being able to talk about sensitive topics with my family growing up. I alway felt inferior to people, and I attended a high school of which the population was 90% kids from well to do families and we were not. we were your average working class family. I lacked a lot of confidence and was painfully shy, and my parents always pointed this out. I was told I was scared of my own shadow as a child. Talking to girls/woman was hell! Confidence was lacking. I know I now have some OCD.
Now, I am a system engineer, am married and have one child. My wife and I have had some tough times and there are still some major issues due to my inability to communicate, especially negative feelings or anything that I may have done wrong? Hard to esplain. I tend to keep things locked up inside!
I obsess over so many things. I play guitar and obsess over the instruments, the gear, always have to have the best gear or what I consider perfect to me. I obsess over a lot of things! I'll run things through my head forever. I am also indecisive.
I have never loved my job, and always felt I should have done something in medicine, nutriton, therapy, exercise, etc. My dream is a coffee house.
I have always been very active, lifting weights, running, skiiing, snowboareing, biking, hiking so it was strange when I felt like I was falling apart this past 8 months. I'll document below but WOULD LOVE SOME INPUT! Thanks!
2003:
- Hurt lower back in gym and as a result had occasional lower back pain for a number of years following injury.
2005:
- Separated right shoulder (AC joint) and had reconstructive surgery.
2007:
Last Week in September:
Lake Placid, NY – Hiking biking, in and around the lake, Marsh lands, etc.
10/2/07 – Ulnar nerve entrapment surgery on left elbow.
10/17/07 – Start of serious symptoms listed below.
- Pins and needles began in right foot, started in the arch of the foot then spread to entire foot, led to pain in ball of foot and caused me to limp. Tingling also began in the left foot but to a much lesser extent. Taking long walks was difficult, numbness in toes, feelings of cold and pain along the bottom of the foot. After a workout, my right foot could shake and be hard to control.
- Nausea, loss of appetite
- Woke up a few nights with either my left leg numb from the knee down and also an extremely painful right knee which took a minute to loosen up to where I could walk. I also experienced a few days where I was shaky and tingly from the knees down and coordination was not as good. Also, tremors and shakes in one hand or the other and would wake up at night with tremors and sometimes muscle twitching, feeling cold as if I had a fever.
- Frequent urination was a problem for a while, cold toes, feet and occasional cold hands as well were common. Sometimes vibrating feelings could felt in the feet. Also woke up a few nights with the back of my scalp numb.
- Episode of right eye problems, including Episcleritis, pressure in right eye.
- Some nights the pain in my right foot was so bad, I could not sleep, I started seeing floaters in right eye but Ophthalmologist rules out any problem. I spent a lot of time limping due to pain in ball of right foot and sometimes both feet, including the heels.
- Fluctuating temperature, up and down.
12/19 – update:
- Some pins and needles in feet, vibrations, cold shots, some pain in ball of foot and periodically other parts of feet (predominantly right foot). Long walks yield prickly feeling in bottom of feet and cold, numb toes, and sometimes the bottom of the foot, mostly right foot.
- Occasional twinges and pain in lower back and mid back pain. A few nights the pain in my Thoracic region was bad enough to keep me awake.
- Left wrist is sore and sometimes pain in the palm of the left hand.
- Notice my temperature is typically around 97.5 which seem low. Thyroid problem?
- Nerve pain, Joint pain, Muscle pain? Difficult to distinguish.
- I can sometimes cause feet to go numb by stretching on the floor.
- Sometimes pain in right hip
- Deep pain at times in lower right leg.
- Right ankle feels weak and sore at times.
- Sometimes numbness down back of leg and feet after sitting.
- Heart murmur?
- Cognitive issues
Hot-spots?
- Painful spot on right wrist.
- Painful spot on right hip.
- Painful spots on my knees
01/05 – update:
- Right foot cold at times. Sharp pains in ball of foot when walking.
- Pain in calf, knee and hip and a little in tail bone
- Slightly sore low back or sacrum.
- After sitting, can have numbness down back of legs.
- CT found 3 mm aneurysm of the proximal supraclinoid right internal Carotid artery.
- Blood work detected abnormal IGG Kappa Monoclonial band.
- Some shortness of breath
- Buzzing sensation in feet and fingers.
- Some nausea
- Weight loss
- Problems with balance
02/25 – update:
- EMG, NCV tests are normal.
04/07 – update:
- Lots of pain in my left wrist, hand and forearm. Using a splint. (Carpal Tunnel?)
- swallowing has not been an issue lately although it feels like some pills get caught in my throat.
- sore calf muscles and the rare burning and weakness in arms and legs. Every now and then, arms or legs can feel weak and shaky although strength always measures fine.
- Currently the Podiatrist and Neurologist feel it could be severely high arches tat are collapsing and carpal tunnel. Anything else could be anxiety.
05/02 –
- Pain in sole of feet, pain in toes, some tingling, but is better with Neurontin.
- Pain that had started in wrist has progressed to pain in hand and forearm, and shoulders. Left hand also is a darker color than the left.
- Nausea at times.
- Occasional feelings of week limbs, vibrating sensations.
- Hands can feel cold.
- Blue-ish color to left hand
- Vasculitus?
- Blurry vision at times
STILL no answer from countless doctors other than high arches, normal floaters in eye and pain in left hand/wrist from repetitive use. Ugh!
Thoughts everyone?
I am tempted to see a Dr. Cohen in PA not far from us but it is expensive and I have spent a ton of medical equipment and doctors, co-pays, etc, because our health insurance has been getting worse.
Thanks.
Thank you!
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Edited by - richedie on 05/20/2008 19:49:20 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 17:52:01
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I would strongly suspect you have TMS, especially given that many doctors have found nothing clearly serious. Your family background has a lot of TMS hallmarks with the strictness, sense of inferiority/perfectionism, and feeling "bottled up" emotionally.
I think if you see a TMS physician it will be an end to your "merry go round" of doctors. Alternatively you can stick to the books for a while if you are leery of spending more money and see how you do with self-treatment. The $12 I spent on The Mindbody Prescription was the last money I spent on medical treatment for my TMS symptoms. :)
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 18:02:48
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Apology for the post fits.Childhood experience fits. Personality type fits. Multitude of symptoms fits. Job dissatisfaction fits. Negative medical work up fits.(Make sure anything medical has been ruled out by your physician).
Sounds like TMS alright.
You've been thru a lot, but you've found the answer. Take a deep, slow breath. You have plenty of company. You are not alone.
Read Dr. Sarno's book(s) carefully and completely (you may want to start with his older book, called "Healing Back Pain")
Journal about your stressors and feelings.
Read success stories on this forum to find encouragement.
That's a good start. Good Luck
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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Hillbilly
USA
385 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 18:09:47
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Anxiety disorder or TMS, your choice.
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 18:59:45
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While I agree that many of your symptoms may be due to TMS, some of the other things you mention are DEFINITELY NOT TMS. Appetite loss, weight loss, episcleritis, aneurysms, abnormal blood work, vasculitis, and murmurs (other than MVP) ARE NOT TMS. I strongly suggest seeing a TMS physician, hopefully one that also happens to be a very good doctor. I think committing to a TMS course without first establishing a diagnosis and/or ruling out (and addressing) some of the things that you mention would be a mistake. Good luck!
Best,
MK |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2008 : 10:23:59
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| It just seems odd I started having tingling and pain in my feet, then I thought I had MS, was convinced! Then a cascade of symptoms began from shortness of breath to twitching, to tremors, temperature drops, intollerance of cold, pain in my wrist which eventually started turning blue, etc. Only thing that makes me thikn now is the changing color of the hand! However, I am the kind of person who can not get out of their head..I obsess over everything! |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2008 : 15:43:03
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I saw a wheelchair bound patient today carrying a diagnosis of MS who I am fairly certain has TMS. She doesn't have MS. Whoever gave her that diagnosis did her a grave injustice as her mind has run with it to the point where she believes she is now paralyzed. None of her studies or neurological exam are consistent with MS, nor have they ever been. This points to the power of the human mind.
Therefore, you first need to see a GOOD doctor, get the CORRECT diagnosis, and then determine if you really just have TMS (or not). If you do (and you very well might), then you become one of the lucky ones. Many people aren't so fortunate. Have a great weekend and best of luck.
Best,
MK |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2008 : 07:13:09
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I just wish I knew if anyone has seen cases where it was believed the mind could cause blood restriction or skin color changes, etc.
The only way I will know for sure is to follow what Sarno lays out in his book, The Mind Body connection. |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2008 : 08:50:09
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What you are describing is known as Raynaud's Phenomenon and I believe Dr. Sarno mentions it in the MBP as yet another TMS equivalent. However, RP can also be a feature of certain rheumatological conditions so you may want to have it checked out just to be safe. I have no personal experience with RP to offer otherwise I would, but perhaps others do. Good luck!
Best,
MK |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2008 : 23:39:41
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quote:
if anyone has seen cases where it was believed the mind could cause blood restriction or skin color changes,
Well, any time someone blushes, or has cold feet!
Read Dr Sarno's book slowly and repeatedly. Start journalling daily. Writing stuff down stops it going round and round in your head re your comment 'I obsess over so many things'.
These things are easy to do and don't cost anything - you put aside, say, an hour a day. Don't miss days. See what happens. If there is an improvement in your many health symptoms you know you are onto something.
Someone here said to start with baby steps. No pressure. Take your time.
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 06:18:21
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Ys, i have seen rheumatolgists, nothing!
I will try the program but I can't afford another doctor so I am on my own for now. Is the new book enough or do I need his other books???
I am almost finished the Mind Body connection, so I will re-read the treatment section and also I have a book on anxiety, etc. I will start journaling as well. The thing that gets me is why now? I have been this way most of my life and have had more stressful times, so why now?
What about confronting people or do I just journal and deal with it from within myself? I don't want to ruin work relationships, friends, family, etc. I would rather just deal with these things and let myself know it is okay to feel a certain way, and not confront people, except for any issues between my wife and I which is most important.
It is so confusing because some people are strong in their opinion that TMS can not cause some of my symptoms such as floaters in my eyes and the changing color of the hand, but look at blushing as you say and the floaters, I may not have noticed if it were not for anxiety. TMS and anxiety are cousins.
An hour a day will be tough with having a family, exercise, stretching, reading, etc...trying to feel better but I will try!
Do I write about thing in which I obsess as well, no matter how small? |
Edited by - richedie on 06/03/2008 08:11:48 |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 20:00:28
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I meant spend an hour a day reading and journalling.
Just write about your true feelings about everything. If you are worried that someone reads it hide it under the mattress. I find I don't even need to revisit the stuff I've written, no need to mull it over or anything, but it can show up how extreme or ridiculous some of your beliefs are.
Do you have to exercise? Take your child for a walk in the park instead (you will get exercise and quality time with baby in one go). |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 09:32:35
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| Okay, I am going to start journaling tonight. Is it okay to dot his on my own without a therapist? Interesting, I think a big thing lately is feeling guilty because my parents are helping use out with money, because even though I have health insurance, it has gotten very expensive seeing so many doctors, alternative medicine docs, myofascial release therapists, lyme docs, etc. |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2008 : 10:16:22
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| What about things like floaters in the eyes? Can TMS cause this? When all my symptoms started, I soon had a lot of floaters in my eye and my optholmologist said I have more than most people. |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2008 : 01:23:09
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You say you've seen a rheumatolgist, but have you seen an endocrinologist? Some of your symptoms sound like a thyroid disorder to me. I have Hashimoto's (antibodies and all -- it runs in my family. My "normal" body temperature is close to 96.5 and I'm always cold (despite being on a maintenance dose of Synthriod). I would assume that a rheumatolgist would have checked your TSH and your free T4 and T3 levels, but if not, I would suggest you get a blood test for those. Also have them check for antibodies. TSH higher than 3.0 is hypothyroid (don't let the docs tell you it has to be above 5.0 because that is "old school" thinking).
If you suspect a thyroid problem, Mary Shomon's thyroid message board is excellent, as are her books.
Some of your other bloodwork sound like there is something going on (but I'm not a doctor, I'm just observing what you're saying). If you think you have a heart problem, please see a cardiologist for a stress test!! My brother suddenly had loss of balance and nausea and it turned out he had a heart valve problem that required surgery.
Some of your systems DO sound TMS-ish, but IMO TMS alone won't give you abnormal blood tests!
I hope you find the answers to your questions.
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2008 : 01:25:46
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Richedie,
I just jumped in on your last posts about journaling and spending parents' money on all those therapists. Yes, I've been through all that, and yes, you can journal on your own, of course. You can do this whole thing on your own, although there is great support here and in other places. But don't let anyone including me right now be your authority.
And if you do really start journaling, write about your guilt about your parents. That alone would be enough to keep the symptoms going, and getting it off your chest and onto the paper may help a lot.
best of luck, you'll be fine, the floaters are literally NOTHING imo
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2008 : 12:51:57
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quote:
The thing that gets me is why now? I have been this way most of my life and have had more stressful times, so why now?
You're probably familiar with the saying "the straw that broke the camel's back." Basically, once the reservoir of emotion overflows, it overflows, and it could be a tiny thing that pushed it over but it's still overflowing.
quote:
What about confronting people or do I just journal and deal with it from within myself? I don't want to ruin work relationships, friends, family, etc. I would rather just deal with these things and let myself know it is okay to feel a certain way, and not confront people, accept any issues between my wife and I which is most important.
Whether you need to address a certain feeling beyond journaling depends on you and on the feeling, but I see warning signs in your phrasing "accept any issues" that suggest you are excessively conflict-averse. It's really common among people with TMS to be conflict-averse (I am myself), but healthy relationships involve some conflict because they are between two different people with different behaviors, feelings, and needs.
It may be important for some issues that you bring up that they are bothering you. But this is work that can be done later on, after you have identified and acknowledged what emotions you have. If you're worried that acknowledgement will automatically lead to expression and then to conflict, it doesn't. The two are generally separate.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 08:14:29
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| Yes, I am very conflict adverse but I am fearful of destroying some friendships, relationships, etc. The other thing, is I am constantly stressing and researching diseases, including the MGUS thing that was found in my blood shortly after my symptoms began! Can TMS cause protein spikes in blood!?!?!?!?!? What about the insane amount of floaters in my eyes? |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 10:13:07
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Neither are TMS, to my knowledge. At the same time, they aren't terribly concerning anyway so I would try and forget about them if possible (worrying about them will only hold you back in recovering from TMS). Of course, you need to follow-up the MGUS as you have been advised, etc.
Best,
MK |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 10:44:57
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| Richedie, eye floaters are a sign of vitrious detachment in your eye.Almost everyone eventually experiences these at some point in their life as they age. The vitrious, the gel inside youe eye, begins to detatch from the retina at the back of your eye. Most are harmless but as the vitrious detatches , it can pull at the retina, causing a tear or retinal detatchment. This is very serious and requires immediate attention. Flashes of light, along with the floater, are a good sign of a possible detachment. I was the lucky recipient of one, hense, the abundence of info. Go to an opthamalogist and have your eyes dialated. They can easily see if you have any retinal involvement. Google floaters and you can read a complete explaination. If your retina is ok, just ignore them. My eyes , after the surgery, look like I have a bunch of amoebas floating around. This is not tms. |
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richedie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 12:44:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Susie
Richedie, eye floaters are a sign of vitrious detachment in your eye.Almost everyone eventually experiences these at some point in their life as they age. The vitrious, the gel inside youe eye, begins to detatch from the retina at the back of your eye. Most are harmless but as the vitrious detatches , it can pull at the retina, causing a tear or retinal detatchment. This is very serious and requires immediate attention. Flashes of light, along with the floater, are a good sign of a possible detachment. I was the lucky recipient of one, hense, the abundence of info. Go to an opthamalogist and have your eyes dialated. They can easily see if you have any retinal involvement. Google floaters and you can read a complete explaination. If your retina is ok, just ignore them. My eyes , after the surgery, look like I have a bunch of amoebas floating around. This is not tms.
Thanks, I know how floaters come to be and have researched them but my optholmologist(who I have seen three times now) said I have way more than most people and at a pretty young age. Keep in mind, all my symtoms began in the fall along with the floaters. Coincidence? If I can save up the cash, I may go see this TMS specialist in Lancaster PA. Unfortunatly most specialists I have been seeing do not take insurance.
Some of the doctors feel I have some form of infection but they can't find it yet, so I am spending big bucks for expensive Lyme testing. My parents are helping though. I almost feel it will difficult to fully accept the TMS unless I go through these other tests and treatments to rule everything out.
And..what about the MGUS? After being on message boards a lot of people with MGUS have symtoms of pain and tingling. However, my numbers are very low, so I don't know. My quality of life and mental condition has declined as a result of my symptoms. |
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New to the board but need help and advice...
