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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
 Posted - 05/27/2008 : 14:45:32
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Hi everyone,
I have posted in the past about my symptoms on this forum. I thought recently that my various symptoms were caused by a chronic illness, Sjogren's Syndrome. I have come to fully believe that I don't have this. All of the symptoms have faded away except for one. The one that remains is the Dry Mouth. This is the symptom that has always scared me...I'm very scared of the way it affects me socially as it makes speaking difficult.
Recently I have noticed that my dad's mouth looks very dry when he speaks. Thick spit builds up when he speaks and he has trouble getting the words out. This scares me so much because I'm starting to think it's simply in my genes to have a dry mouth. Every time I notice his dry mouth I feel sick to my stomach.
Give me your thoughts on this. It bothers me so much and my mind keeps finding ways to make it permanent. Will it ever go away?
Thanks. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 17:22:55
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quote:
This is the symptom that has always scared me...I'm very scared of the way it affects me socially as it makes speaking difficult.
Your fear will impede your getting rid of the symptom. If a symptom still 'works' -- if you still have an emotional reaction to the symptom -- it will be hard to get it to go away. The key is to no longer have such a reaction. It's not easy but it is the essence of the TMS work. The symptoms must not distract you from your actual emotions, or from the activities you want to do.
In this case, because this becomes challenging in social situations, you have an easy 'actual emotion' to focus on which would be those feelings related to social interaction.
Talking to your brain, giving it the messages about TMS and telling it to restore saliva flow to your mouth, may help with this too. Certainly giving yourself consistent messages about TMS will help with your attitude that some other part of you is in control:
You say "My mind keeps finding ways to make it permanent." First of all, there is no evidence that this is permanent. In fact, all evidence is to the contrary since most of it has gone away.
You are letting your mind do this. The premise of the TMS work is that the conscious awareness can triumph over the unconscious process. You have control, not "your mind". Your unconscious mind will keep throwing out thoughts and symptoms, but you choose whether to pay attention to them, or to override them with conscious beliefs and statements. For example, when you worry about a heritable dry mouth, you might say to yourself, "It is quite possible my dad just has TMS too." When you fear the dry mouth coming on, use self-talk about TMS.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 05:30:25
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| Thanks armchairlinguist |
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swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 10:53:28
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quote:
...symptom that has always scared me...I'm very scared...
...my dad's mouth looks very dry when he speaks... This scares me so much...Every time I notice...I feel sick to my stomach.
...It bothers me so much and my mind keeps finding ways to make it permanent.
Isn't anxiety a common cause of dry mouth? Social anxiety may or may not be part of the problem (you perceive) your father has. Does his mouth actually bother him at all? You certainly seem extraordinarily anxious about this particular symptom. Not surprised it's the one that's stuck around. The fact that you are even noticing how much saliva your father produces speaks to how obsessed your mind is with this one issue...
You might want to investigate why this one symptom (that's really pretty benign in the list of possible medical problems) is so frightening to you. What is so frightening about dry mouth that makes you sick to your stomach?
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 11:57:56
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Piggy backing on what the last person said about what's so frightening about the dry mouth? If you make a list of what your dad's dry mouth reminds you of, then those can be your journaling topics for a while.
Like if it reminds you of one time when your friend came over when you were younger and he had his dry mouth with spit collecting on the edges or whatever and your friend had a weird look on his/her face and you felt embarrassed. I'm totally making that up, but my main point here is that whatever you associate from your past with your dad's dry mouth could be good to write about and see what emotions are wrapped up in those events. |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 12:01:28
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| Also, what great news to hear that you're not experiencing the other symptoms as much. Great work! |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 15:05:39
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Thanks everyone for your responses.
To answer your question... I am afraid of the dry mouth because it makes speaking difficult. I have always been a quiet guy that thought I should speak up more. I usually lacked the confidence to be louder. The dry mouth makes my tongue feel twisted all the time and I am very discouraged to speak. It makes me feel imprisoned.
I fear my dad's dry mouth because it has made me think that my dry mouth is natural and that it is how I must live......Weird thing is, it all came so suddenly. My dad's dry mouth doesn't bother him at all and it never has bothered him so I doubt it is TMS. |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 15:28:19
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**************
I have always been a quiet guy that thought I should speak up more. I usually lacked the confidence to be louder. The dry mouth makes my tongue feel twisted all the time and I am very discouraged to speak. It makes me feel imprisoned.
**************
That's what I'd write about if you were up for journaling. Think of some specific times that you were afraid to speak up or be louder. Write about the emotions that you had when you were going through those times. What seemed scary, who was involved, what did you want from them, how could they have made it easier, and most of all what did you want to say that you were afraid or worried about saying?
It could be that the dry mouth and the twisted feeling tongue is all there in an attempt to get you to not talk so that you don't experience the painful emotions that you did when you were younger and didn't feel comfortable speaking up. Also to protect you from the inner rage (subconscious) at not feeling able to express yourself in the way that you wanted to.
Were there times when you were growing up that you DID speak up and then something unpleasant happened as a result? Where you got the message that it was better to be quiet and not speak up? Those could be other things to explore. Not things that you have to share here necessarily, but things you might want to consider as you're working with this persistent dry mouth symptom.
Stay with it. You've come so far with your understanding about your TMS already! |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 15:44:28
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Thanks AmyAJJ
Wow, you sound like you know my whole life story. When I was young and disagreed with my father, I would speak up. For speaking up he would punish me. Slowly I learned that if I didn't say anything and just held in my thoughts, I wouldn't get punished by him.
I have already talked to him about this and we are trying to work out the problem together. I'm trying to be more vocal with him and he's allowing me to be.
This developed silence was carried into my social life. So, the problem has spread and the fear of this dry mouth applies to many aspects of my life.
What really scares me about the dry mouth is the thought of permanence. That's why my dad's dry mouth is scaring me so much. I feel that I could never put up with this symptom for my whole life...like I said it imprisons me. |
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swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 18:59:50
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quote:
What really scares me about the dry mouth is the thought of permanence.
That was my biggest problem right there. I thought my piriformis and shoulder injuries might be permanent and sideline me forever from the sports I love. I spent 8 years curtailing my activities out of worry that I was going to be hurt forever. The worry was the main cause of my pain. Quit worrying about tomorrow! If your mouth feels dry today, deal with it the best you can today and move on. Quit obsessing about how you won't be able to talk for the rest of your life. That's not doing you any good.
I think your fears have almost nothing to do with your dry mouth (except that they may be causing the dry mouth in the first place). Sounds like your fears are more related to speaking in general. AmyAJJ has some good ideas about questions you can ask yourself. |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 20:35:05
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| swmr how are you doing now? |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2008 : 05:22:16
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Thanks armchairlinguist.
Do you guys think my dad having a dry mouth could mean that mine is permanent????
His doesn't bother him. The weird part is that mine bothers me a lot and it all developed over the period of a week... I've had it now for 9 months. |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2008 : 08:45:32
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I don't think it means that yours is permanent. I think that's one of the things talked about by the doctors. That we may use what our parents have had as proof that our condition exists as a physical condition. Like if our parents had back pain, we'll think, "Oh, they had chronic back pain. I have chronic back pain." As if it runs in the family or something. Because someone close to us has the same symptom they seem to suggest that we'd be more likely to accept it as the way things are instead of see it as something we can do something about in a TMS way.
I think the better thing to look at is not the fact that your dad has a dry mouth also, but what you said about your dry mouth setting in within a week 9 months ago. So you were totally fine with your mouth before then, and then suddenly within that week you got a dry mouth that you've been dealing with for 9 months?
If I were you, I'd be looking at what was going on for me emotionally and in my life 9 months ago around the time of the onset of the dry mouth. |
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johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2008 : 22:11:37
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| Thanks AmyAJJ, it does bring me comfort to know that this all came at once...which points toward TMS and a purely psychological origin. |
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Will it ever go away?
