| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
 Posted - 06/13/2008 : 14:33:02
|
Hi guys,
I know I've posted a lot about this dry mouth symptom but responses always make me feel better for some time.
My tongue feels twisted when I speak, this affects me socially. My mouth also feels like "cotton mouth" all the time and my tongue is always white, so I can never forget about it. I have felt it all day every day for the past 9 1/2 months.
I fear this because it's destroying me socially. I have recently come back from college and I am simply not the same. I am losing friends and having a good time with this around is impossible. I haven't felt good since the dry mouth started.
I have read Sarno, I have read Claire Weeks. I have known of their work for about 4 months now and there is still no change in the dry mouth. When the dry mouth first came about I couldn't picture it staying for another month, or 2, or 9. Now I can't picture it ever being gone. It seems like one big nightmare that i'll never wake up from.
I am sure this is psychological, but I believe I will always fear it and I sure as hell will never forget about it. It's literally right up in my face every second of every day.
Any input of any kind will help, Thanks. |
|
|
drziggles
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2008 : 15:09:50
|
Read the post as if it were written by someone else and try to put things into perspective. No offense, but does dry mouth sound like it is really "one big nightmare"? What is there really to fear?
Sounds like you've got things exactly backwards: you say "I fear this because it's destroying me socially", when really it sounds like "it's destroying me socially because I fear this".
It's very typical of TMS that the fear and disability caused by the symptoms are way out of proportion to what they should be. Don't recall if you've seen a therapist, but you would probably benefit from it. "Catastrophizing" thinking can be greatly improved with CBT, and sounds like there are other issues to work on as well.
Naturally, you should consult with your MD before making any medical decisions. |
 |
|
|
Rooster
13 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2008 : 15:34:00
|
johnaccardi
I'm new to this forum and TMS in general...but here's my take on this (without knowing too much about your history etc - and assuming you've already visited your doc etc. to rule anything obvious out).
I have had bad breath symptoms on and off for years after having a rhinoplasty. I am incredibly hygenic/a perfectionist and care too much what others think of me - so having bad breath was totally unacceptable to me - and it really destroyed a lot of my confidence. At times I have been convinced it was because of the rhinoplasty (leading me into a spiral of self-blame etc). But recently I've become convinced that it isn't and is simply a TMS style symptom. I tried so many things - nose drops because my nose lining was apparently inflamed, very expensive bad breath kit from Australia! (I'm UK-based), acupuncture, anti-candida diet, buteyko breathing method. Some of these worked for a period of time but never for that long. But reading through Sarno etc. it occured to me that all of these 'solutions' were just keeping me in a 'worry' cycle. i.e. I must take my bad breath kit or my breath will become worse/will come back (it it had temporarily subsided). And so I thought about it and thought OK, I've managed to have brief periods (a few weeks, maybe months) where my breath has been OK. This could be to do with the various 'solutions' but maybe not. Perhaps they do just act as placebo's which is why they don't last. So I gave up on all of them - and have been pretty much fine since. I've had a few episodes where I think I have the bad breath back again but I try not to dwell on it and it never really comes to much.
The key thing it to build up some solid arguments and positive affirmations for why this is just a passing TMS symptom - and you MUST get it out of your head that this is going to last forever - you're just thinking like that because you have become consumed by it. Convice yourself that this is a passing symptom which will actually help you learn more about yourself and your body. Be positive however rough you feel. Visualise yourself without the dry mouth - take yourself mentally to that place. Also, a massive issue I guess is that you haven't always had it? - and if it came, it sure as hell can go as well!!! It simply will NOT last forever. Keep on reflecting on your emotions and think why the dry mouth in particular is such an issue for you, e.g. for my bad breath I've had to consider that I'm massively scared of rejection which is why it freaked me out so much (and why it was such an effective distraction!). I've never considered that before, but it now makes a lot of sense to me. I really do believe that fear (which you mention below a lot) is a MASSIVE part of it and that you need to confront this emotion and really reflect on it. Try Scott Brady's Pain Free For Life book which has some great sections on journaling.
Anyway good luck. YOU WILL GET BETTER. |
|
|
|
Rooster
13 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2008 : 15:48:11
|
| Also, I'm sure in one of Sarno's books he refers to someone whose TMS symptom was actually dry mouth - I think it may have been in the Divided Mind and was only a brief reference. But just shows that this is part of the same 'syndrome'. |
|
|
|
armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2008 : 18:30:44
|
quote:
I have known of their work for about 4 months now and there is still no change in the dry mouth. When the dry mouth first came about I couldn't picture it staying for another month, or 2, or 9. Now I can't picture it ever being gone. It seems like one big nightmare that i'll never wake up from.
I am sure this is psychological, but I believe I will always fear it and I sure as hell will never forget about it.
Well, the rest of the quote explains the first sentence. The problem is not that the timeframe is inevitably too long, that it doesn't "work" fast enough. The problem is that you have not changed your attitude at all, and that is why the timeframe is so long.
Of course there is no change if you fear it, believe you will always fear it, and believe you cannot forget about it. The whole idea of TMS work is that in order to change your symptoms, you must change your emotional reaction to them. This is not negotiable. This is the second critical point, after accepting that the symptoms are psychological in origin. This is true for both Weekes and Sarno and you have read both, yet you do not seem to be grasping the point.
I would agree with drziggles. First you were talking about Sjogren's syndrome being a nightmare, and I pointed out that although autoimmune conditions are problematic, many people live mostly happy lives with them. Now you are past the Sjogren's idea into something much more specific and less serious, and you are saying that dry mouth itself is a nightmare. Do you hear how you are defeating yourself here?
You are at the point of the TMS work where you have to Just Do It. Sorry to sound like Nike -- or Yoda, but: Do or do not. There is no try. Or to quote myself, 100% commitment! TMS work is WORK. It's difficult. It requires more of us sometimes than we want to give. As AmyAJJ pointed out recently, TMS work is like medicine. You have to do it regularly and with commitment. And it's harder than medicine because it is not just a pill we swallow, it's a pill we create in our minds. Commit and you will find benefits. Using the forum as an injection may be of short-term benefit but it is not helpful in the long run because the goal is that your medicine becomes self-generated.
--
It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
Edited by - armchairlinguist on 06/13/2008 18:35:55 |
|
|
|
swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2008 : 19:37:42
|
Johnaccardi--It's been said before but, what are you SOOO afraid of? Perspective, bro, perspective. Your mouth is dry. Get on with living already! I know a woman with alopecia. She has plenty of friends despite her lack of hair. There's a lady in my neighborhood who is missing half her arm. She's very popular around here. There are countless people all over with birth defects, burn scars, and all sorts of problems who still socialize. What's the difference between you and them? They have accepted themselves as they are and they have moved on in life.
Your problem is not your dry mouth! It is your constant obsessing! I would bet money that any friends you have "lost" have walked away not because of your dry mouth but because of your obsession about the issue. Do you want to hang out with an amputee who can't stop talking about his or her missing limb? At some point you have to move on. Your mouth is dry. Well, if you refuse to think it's TMS, fine. At least move on and don't hide from life. |
|
|
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2008 : 12:32:17
|
| thankyou drziggles, rooster, and armchairlinguist for the helpful responses |
|
|
|
swmr1
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2008 : 15:10:05
|
| Sorry if I offended you, johnaccardi. But you said any input of any kind would be helpful. I don't know how I came off, probably more preachy than I meant to. But, really, you could use some "tough love", dude. Can you dispute what I said? I'm sure you are a great guy with great things to offer the world around you. It's too bad you are so easily discounting yourself because of one fairly insignificant problem (in the scheme of possible significant problems). |
|
|
|
Dor
67 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2008 : 05:33:40
|
John, It is Mom Dor again. I check into this site mostly just to see how you are doing. I really think that drziggles said it best - it is destroying you socially because you fear it. Sometimes we all need crutches and I really don't think there is anything wrong with that. When you think about it reading Sarno over and over again is a crutch. I read Weeks so many times the pages were tattered! What crutches do is help us until we can go it alone, so find yourself some crutches. Carry bottled water with you when you are out with friends. Nothing to be ashamed of, it is even a status symbol today!! Chew gum, suck on lemon candy, grab some mints. whatever helps in the short term helps your mind relax and when your mind relaxes (less fear) you let go and get on. And, a really good friend is going to understand, a really good friend isn't going to leave you. So stop worrying about all of that, talk to a few good friends honestly, tell them you are having a hard time and why, ask them to the movies, buy that soda before you go in, and let your mind concentrate on the movie. Most of the time we lose friends because they don't understand and think YOU don't care. You retreat from them and they don't know why. Tell them, let them know you are struggling with something. Chances are they will understand and if they don't then they are not worth having as friends. And hey, I have raised three boys and I sure understand by now how guys handle things. So if they nickname you "dry mouth" or joke with you about it, well take it as a sign they care. The good friends I mean, not the nasty, cruel, unfeeling ones!!!
This past year I have had horrific dental work done. For months I could not really eat. I lost weight and felt pretty sorry for myself. Now I am trying to adjust to partial dentures and none of that has been easy. There are still times of pain and uncomfortableness. But, and this is a huge BUT, I had to make the decision that going out to eat with my family and friends was more important and valuable then retreating. So I found crutches. I scanned the menu for what I could eat and didn't care if others wondered why I was eating it, I had a glass of wine with dinner, and most of all I concentrated on the joy of being out with people I care about. Nope, eating is not ever going to be what it once was, it is always going to require thought, and some of the joy of it is gone. But onward we go John. You have to make the decision to say "screw this I am going to have a life, I deserve a life, and I am going to pull myself up and get out there". Again, not easy, but neither is sitting in your room alone!
So your tongue knots up - so what? You can smile right? Start smiling John, it will do you a world of good.
Thinking of you lots, Dor |
|
|
|
scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2008 : 01:30:05
|
i don't know how to describe how you kill fear. you just do. you say... "F-CK YOU I'M NOT GOING TO BE YOUR LITTLE B-TCH ANYMORE BRAIN SUCK MY..." well, you get the idea.
the fear is the only thing keeping it in place. imagine waking up tomorrow and being incapable of being afraid of your tongue thing. you'd be like... "pshh. i'm going to go eat a bunch of dry cereal. suck it." and it'd probably be gone by mid-day.
that's how you do it. be like "brain, i ain't takin' no crap no mo."
it works. actually.
---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
|
|
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2008 : 08:14:55
|
Dor, thanks for getting back to me here. I really haven't told any friends about this yet, with your advice maybe I will. I'll get throught this, as long as I genuinly know in my mind that it's not permanent, I can use the thought of it's being gone as the ultimate crutch to pull me through this.
scottjmurray, awesome post. I really agree with you...fear is the only thing keeping it around. I'm sure the fear will slowly fade as my life builds for the better around this symptom and then the symptom will only be a memory. |
|
|
|
ralphyde
USA
307 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2008 : 10:44:11
|
What I do for occasional dry mouth, is suck on one of those chewable Vitamin C tablets. The orange flavor stimulates my saliva glands, and pretty soon my mouth is moist and clean tasting. They come in 500mg or so in any grocery store, and they're reasonably cheap. You could carry around a bottle of them.
I know it's not Sarno, but it could relieve the immediate problem that's causing you anxiety.
Best,
Ralph |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
It all seems too permanent
