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scottjmurray

266 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2008 :  03:18:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
i guess i can finally say i'm recovered from tms. after working 3 days in a row at a mind-numbing warehouse job without a flareup in sight, my neuroticism finally in its closing hours, i'm THERE.

anyway heres the list of stuff i suffered from:
- pelvic pain syndrome whatever
- tinnitus
- migraines
- back pain
- irritable bowel whatever
- stomach pains
- facial pain
- jaw pain (tmj whatever)
- two blown out knees
- foot crampy thing
- shoulder whatever
- a few anxiety disorders (one was hppd, fun.)
- depression and whatnot

but now i'm good to go. like 99% or something like that. i don't know, i don't like percents. whats important is most of the time if i have a symptom pop up it takes me about a minute or so to figure out what emotion my ego is trying to blot out. i don't get caught in those mindless inferiority-induced personality hells anymore (perfectionism and goodism). i can now watch them rise and fall like the tide, knowing better than to get involved.

most of my stress came from my personality, and i think i've finally got a hold on that. i've learned how to let go, which is very nice. i don't frantically try to fix my tms situation anymore, which i spent almost a year doing, and as a result... barely any tms symptoms are present. i still get yanked around sometimes by some bubbling childhood self-esteem trauma blows, but theyre starting to wither too the more i stand back and take it all in.

today i've realized that i've GOT IT. and so the post i've been waiting to make for more than a year, DONE!

PEACE!

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.

scottjmurray

266 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2008 :  03:23:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
so this also means im going to redo my website now that i've got my head clear, for my fans out there.

that is, when i feel like it. ;)

stay tuned

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.
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hairfarm

USA
10 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2008 :  09:39:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
How long did it take you to "recover".

More importantly, what worked for you?

thanks,

Hairfarm
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scottjmurray

266 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2008 :  13:42:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
about a year. some stuff that helped:

1 a solid understanding of inferiority-complex based personality traits and learning to recognize them when they arise (these are the "have to's," the "shoulds" and basically anything that grinds against my natural flow or tao or whatever you want to call it. also stuff like "i should be doing something better with my life" is pretty annoying too. screw that. the divided mind has a good explanation of this stuff in the psychology section.
2 the buddhist principle of "if you watch it for long enough it'll leave you alone," facing stuff directly, being able to sit there and literally bake in anxiety and suffering until i understand what's actually going on.
3 screaming my lungs out
4 subvocalization
5 writing feverishly about everything that stresses me out
6 recognizing that trying to figure out everything that stresses me out is actually stressing me out. lol
7 hardcore techno
8 enjoying my life again

questions?

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.
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moose1

162 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2008 :  18:00:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by scottjmurray

about a year. some stuff that helped:

1 a solid understanding of inferiority-complex based personality traits and learning to recognize them when they arise (these are the "have to's," the "shoulds" and basically anything that grinds against my natural flow or tao or whatever you want to call it. also stuff like "i should be doing something better with my life" is pretty annoying too. screw that. the divided mind has a good explanation of this stuff in the psychology section.
2 the buddhist principle of "if you watch it for long enough it'll leave you alone," facing stuff directly, being able to sit there and literally bake in anxiety and suffering until i understand what's actually going on.
3 screaming my lungs out
4 subvocalization
5 writing feverishly about everything that stresses me out
6 recognizing that trying to figure out everything that stresses me out is actually stressing me out. lol
7 hardcore techno
8 enjoying my life again

questions?

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.



this is really great to read. i'm in week 6 of psychotherapy to get to the bottom of chronic anxiety that i know is unconsciously based, and my doc agrees. i've had bouts of anxiety for the past 18 years, but whatever strategy my mind was using to prop up my mental health and whatever vision i had of myself finally collapsed back in May, leaving me with almost 24/7 fear and anxiety. of course, as soon as we started poking around down in the dark regions, the symptoms got a lot worse. i'm slowly but surely starting to feel some ugly, never-felt stuff before and i'm hoping the TMS will give up its fight soon.

anyway, that's awesome to hear that you beat yours. my equivs have been chronic low back pain, gastro stuff, insomnia, muscle twitching, weird arm and hand pain, etc, etc.

stay well!
Moose
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scottjmurray

266 Posts

Posted - 07/09/2008 :  04:10:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
godspeed moose. the quest to reunite with the self continues.

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.
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skizzik

USA
776 Posts

Posted - 07/20/2008 :  10:53:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
how important do you think anger release was? As in going beyond figuring out the stressors and actually taking action.
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scottjmurray

266 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2008 :  13:17:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
the anger release, the primal scream stuff, was all basically key. all that crazy expression gives you amazing insight into what's really going on inside your brain. it's like a speed mindfulness course. it unlocks the doors so you can finally stand back and say no to your previous patterns of thought, like you've always wanted to.

it gets whats inside... out.

---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne.
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HilaryN

United Kingdom
878 Posts

Posted - 11/15/2008 :  11:19:07  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Scott,

No. 7 is one I use, too! Turn it up and let rip!

I've been tuning in to a local radio station, but it doesn't broadcast all hours. I've just seen your happyhardcore link on your website - thanks for that!

Hilary N
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Hilary

United Kingdom
191 Posts

Posted - 02/15/2009 :  05:35:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is very helpful, Scott. Thanks.
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abbywal

6 Posts

Posted - 08/22/2011 :  15:39:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tell me more about Buddha's principle ... It sounds good
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cobalt82

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - 10/10/2011 :  15:44:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is great! I'm currently looking into some mediation stuff as a means to control anxiety, etc which really exacerbates my tms/rsi - any recommendations?

At the very least I'll feel less stressed whicg is a key exacerbator.

I havent got my mind finely honed just yet - if I focus on my pain and tell it that I'm not accepting it, it will recede. However it will still pop back fairly shortly afterwards. Being on constant watch conciously is very tiring!
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MichaelB

USA
79 Posts

Posted - 05/12/2012 :  00:19:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you scottmurray for what you wrote. I hope this will help me. I will read your post often as I will others. Interesting , had IBS also plus other strange pains. Thanks again.

Michael B.
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