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guinevera
5 Posts |
 Posted - 08/05/2005 : 17:38:18
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Hi everyone!
This is my first post, although I've been reading TMS Help for a couple of weeks now.
From the summer of 2003 until about 2 months ago I was suffering from debilitating pain due to RSI. I had been diagnosed with RSI before and got rid of the pain through rest and PT, but 2 years ago I was a full time student and working 2 part-time jobs, the combination of which led to a re-injury that I never recovered from.
During that time I had to move out of my apartment and ended up renting a room from a friend of mine who also has severe RSI (way more severe than mine ever was), so the two of us commiserated together about how much pain we were in, how much life sucked, etc.
Since then I moved back home to CA for a new job (which, by the way, I was really worried about being able to do because by that time I was the full-on voice-recognition software user, NEVER touched a keyboard, and was generally computer avoidant) and by some stroke of huge luck stumbled upon some people who put me onto Sarno.
And...a week after reading the Mind-Body Prescription the pain was gone and I was typing away. Holy Moley!! I couldn't believe it. I mean, I'm not pain-free (or at least tingling-free), and I still get scared wondering when the rug is going to get pulled out from under me, etc....but wow, I still can't believe it.
So here's the problem: My friend, who has RSI and with whom I lived for 5 months, is coming to visit for a week. Today - the day I pick him up from the airport - I start feeling pain again. Since I've moved back to CA and started the Sarno process I've shared my experiences with him, but I don't think he believes me...at least, he doesn't believe it will work for HIM.
I think his skepticism is rubbing off on me (he has a VERY strong personality) and somehow the fact that he and I have had a strong bond in the past based largely on being injured is affecting me right now. I mean, it's crazy...I have had almost no pain for 2 months now and TODAY my arms are hurting.
How can I still feel better and not be so afraid of seeing my friend?
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 19:17:53
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I also have a friend, that is also a client of mine, that is either in terrible pain, or has bad allergies, or stomach problems. He has read Sarno's books, but did not improve, while I did. I spoke to a tms therapist, Don Dubin, and mentioned that when I see this person, I get pain immedatiely. He asked me about our backgrounds, and suggested that beacause this person was very much wealthier than myself, and a natural athlete, that I may be jealous. I think that in my uncoscious, I was. I now no longer get pain when I see him at work, or for coffee. I think it is important not to feel the other person's pain, and not get into focusing on "physical things again".
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2005 : 06:05:01
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| I know what you mean, it's like an association trigger that brings on the pain again. Because I think you know he doesn't believe in your recovery, and since you had the same RSI commiseration at one time, you have moved out of it and your friend hasn't. That's enough to put worry on you because you know deep down inside the friend is not buying into it, and probably even thinks you've gone off the deep end. If it were me, I'd just carry on, and don't even bring up the RSI stuff unless the friend does. If the friend wants to know more about Sarno/TMS he will ask. I find that most people don't believe it and when I try to explain to them how much better I am, and maybe they could read the book, I get all kinds of push back. We don't want to see our friends suffering needlessly, yet at the same time it's like they are in denial about it and THAT in itself is rageful for us TMS sufferers. It's like "WHY CAN'T YOU FRIGGEN READ THE BOOK AND TRY TO GET WELL, SEE FOR YOURSELF WHY I AM BETTER. YOU TOO CAN BE BETTER IF YOU REALLY WANT TO, JUST TRUST IN SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE" So since your friend probably won't go along with your help, I say carry on and know deep down inside how much better off you are now. The pain will go away if you can tell yourself you know it's TMS and you know why it's there, and tell yourself the reason that it's there, and you're not going to take it. It will pass. |
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guinevera
5 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2005 : 09:52:15
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Thanks for the responses to my post. There is so much truth to them!
It's funny, I did spend the whole weekend with my friend - as well as with a group of other people - and a very telling thing happened: We all cooked dinner together every night, with my friend kind of being in charge as he is the most accomplished cook of all of us. Last night he got busy chatting and forgot about a pot of gravy on the stove, with the result that it burned to a crisp, blackened the whole pot and was consequently inedible.
Nobody cared that this happened, as the most important thing for our group of friends was being together. However, my friend could not let go of the fact that he had "failed" and that something he was in charge of doing went wrong. He actually said the words: Other people can fail, but for me it's not an option".
After I heard those words, I realized what a CLASSIC perfectionist my friend is - almost a caricature of one! He came across to me in that moment as such an archetype of the kind of person that Sarno says typically suffers from TMS. It was really a moment of clarity for me, and instead of having this experience with my friend sabotage my recovery, I think it actually brought Sarno's theory more into focus. It's amazing the insights we can have when we really search inside ourselves and try and see patterns in others. Wow. |
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Fear of Friends
