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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
 Posted - 12/29/2009 : 09:18:59
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This is the kind of rage that gets suppressed and causes TMS:
15 months ago, best friend buys a piece of streamlined armoire I really admire. I say, "wow, would you mind if I got one just like it? I really love this color, the size, etc. and it's exactly what I need to store my stuff!" She says "no, I'd rather you didn't, I'd like to keep it as a one of a kind thing since it was a gift from my boyfriend." So I respect her wishes and don't buy the same item. Instead, I take the high road and buy a much bulkier version of the same piece of furniture. Takes up way more room in my apartment, yadda yadda. This week, she sees me with a great blouse on at Christmas. She asks me "would you mind if I bought the exact blouse you have on, because I absolutely love it so much." I say "no, I don't mind, why should I mind, imitation is the highest form of flattery. Of course, go buy it." Meanwhile, I'm thinking back to when I was not allowed to to copy her with her armoire. Just passing this along because it's a typical case of having to take the high road and swallowing your pride at the expense of not getting into a heated immature argument with a friend and having hurt feelings. Classic Sarno stuff that he talks about in his books, whereby if we always walked around venting everything that someone did to insult us, we'd be in a straightjacket and would be taken away. Would I like to say something? Sure, but it's not worth it and sometimes you have to pick your battles and take the high road and be mature and let it go. I guess I'll just write about it in my journal. Just passing it along as a way to say, I am learning as I go along what kinds of incidents may start a flare up, so I try to be aware of them as they occur. Maybe I'll just write about it in my journal and be done with it. Happy new year. |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2009 : 01:37:23
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Maryalma8
Yes it is the kind of stuff that may get you there and repeat it often enough and you may end up wishing you never did. Fortunately there are other ways to get out of this traps. One of them is to be aware of your expectations and how you handle a negative outcome like the one you mentioned before it even takes place so when it does the solution is already available. Or in the example you wrote, when asked for your consent just remain silent it works very well and you don't have to loose your friend or repress anything. And if finally the outcome is not the one you had in mind then maybe it was not meant to be .
Also it seems like the more unknown the repressed emotions the worst it gets so maybe you'll be fine as long as you can keep track of the one you can identify.
When I had serious back problems I tried a chiropractor specialized in a technique called B.E.S.T ( at the time I didn't know anything about TMS and desperately needed help. in the middle of the treatment he told me an interesting story:
Imagine you had a bicycle accident and your back got hurt badly.
Not far from the scene you noticed at the time that a bird was singing in a tree. Nothing extraordinary there.
You recover from your injuries and for years your back seems fine. One day you're sitting outside enjoying a nice spring day. Suddenly you want to get up to grab a piece of paper flying away and bang ! your backs locks up and a long cycle of back pain begins. You probably never noticed the same kind of bird that was singing above your head but your body and your subconscious did...all it needed was the right kind of reminder.
Never underestimate the role of your biological memory.
Good luck and Happy New Year. |
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guej
115 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2009 : 07:40:08
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Catspine,
The analogy you gave at the end of your post about the bird singing triggering a pain memory in the brain really hit me. I had been getting significantly better up until around the end of September. I definitely had plateaued, and I was a bit frustrated, but I was at a stage where the pain was tolerable and I was fully living my life again and had high hopes that over time, the rest of the pain would fade away.
I then went out and did something a bit too physical, and incurred a slight injury to a different part of my body. That wasn't the problem...that injury has subsided for the most part. However, literally the day after the injury, my normal pain on the other side of my body started to come back. Over the next few days and weeks, it just got worse and worse. Here I am 3 months later and my usual pain has gone through the roof again. I feel as though I lost all the gains I made. The most frustrating part of all this is that I could see it happening at the time and I was absolutely powerless to stop it. I knew I had done nothing to cause the old pain to come back. That it was simply my brain "remembering" pain. It's as if my brain was saying "hey, there's that pain thing again. I know how to do this! Here...let me show you how well I can do this..".
Even my pain management doctor wasn't surprised and said it happens all the time with people who have severe and chronic pain. Our brains remember pain and its triggers, and reverts back to its old habits. So the question is, what to do when this happens? Like I said, I saw it coming, I knew it was being caused my brain, and I still couldn't nip it in the bud. Thanks. |
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winnieboo
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2009 : 08:43:54
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Good stuff on the chiropracter's story about our subconscious memory, catsp. And Mary...I know exactly what you mean about always taking the high road. I was in some kind of bind at some point, not unlike yours, and a friend shared this funny little aphorism:
"It's better to ask forgiveness than permission."
Love this! |
Edited by - winnieboo on 12/30/2009 08:51:57 |
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2009 : 12:52:08
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Guej,
Glad you found something in there for you.
I sound like you know what i mean. Make sure though that you make the distinction between the brains memory and the biological memory. The second one has a tendency to store information and retrieve it in a way that the conscious brain does not compute as fast. An example of that is the memory of your skin: Touch a hot surface by accident and your fingers are off already before your brain fires up.
The next issue is doubt: There is no doubt TMS will try a push again once it found its way in once because something in us who are subject to it makes it possible. Maybe in the architecture of the brain itself (maybe not :-) )But we know now that we can influence it in different ways and make it go away. Doubt is a big obstacle to success and for various reasons but primarily doubt is lack of faith you do it. When you feel the thing creeping in check the doubt meter you 'll know what I mean.
Technically biological memory is likely to override the mind on the short term and the pain shows up, then supposing it is at its best again the mind will talk the biological memory into stepping down and you'll feel better for a while or even permanently. Doubt conditions this process i believe, in order to beat TMS you must believe that it is possible to find how and to do so .If you thing it is possible then it probably is, isn't it? You're never given a thought without the possibility to make it come true.
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Example of how rage can take over if you let it
