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 I'm chasing my TMS around and around
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Carolyn

184 Posts

Posted - 10/14/2014 :  22:46:38  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My TMS journey continues and it gets stranger all the time so I am back to tell my tale to the only people on earth who have been there and will not (I hope) think I am crazy! And maybe someone can learn something from my experiences as well. So not really a question here-more of a vent.

My latest bout with TMS came a few months ago with pretty constant acid reflux. After battling it for a while, I came to the board and just posting about it often seems to be enough to convince my TMS that I am onto it and it quickly disappeared. So I am 100% convinced reflux CAN be TMS. I challenged it- I drank before bed, ate all the tomato sauce that I wanted to etc. and it was definitely gone. In it's place I had pretty awful anxiety. That's when I knew 200% that it had been TMS. That began a rapidly changing parade of symptoms that was actually very comical except that each symptom is very unpleasant while it is there. Some lasted for weeks, some days, some disappeared almost as soon as I recognized them.

To recount- Shortly after the anxiety settled in, I noticed a small purple swelling near my groin and I must have subconsciously decided it was the problem with my veins that began this whole TMS thing for me. I started obsessing about it and my pelvic pain was back. Chronic pelvic pain was my original symptom that I suffered with for years before I learned about TMS- it hadn't reared it's head for a very long time and just like that it was back. That one lasted for a few weeks even though I knew what it was. I know the bump was there before I saw it but the pain didn't start until I saw it. Meanwhile the bump disappeared- just a bruise I think- and suddenly my eyes were very dry and uncomfortable (also one I'd seen before)for a week or so. That was followed by neck pain and a severe headache for about a week, then weird tingling sensations in my feet and hands, then hot and cold flashes and bouts of sweating (finally some classic anxiety symptoms.) This was followed by waking in the middle of the night with very strange pulsating sensations in my brain which morphed into straight insomnia. Then I got a rash that lasted for a month. I went to the doctor and got cream for the rash and meds for sleeping and woke up a few mornings later with a back spasm- that I immediately stopped in it's tracks and it instantly became pain in the bottom of my foot (plantar fasciitis- like) that had me limping for two days. Then out of nowhere, and not after having eaten anything that could be considered a trigger, I woke up choking on stomach acid again. The thought passed fleetingly through my mind that I am surprised I've never had irritable bowel- and yup- up that night with stomach cramps. I remember thinking "I guess the mitral valve prolapse will be next" and of COURSE it was- I feel it as a buzzing in my chest that makes it hard to sleep on my left side. That's where I am now- just wondering what will be next and trying to stop those thoughts because it seems that as soon as I wonder- there it is.

It is so obvious that I KNOW what it is and I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't happening to me. I do see this in so many people I know, where it is just always something that is bothering them and it drifts from one thing to another and the first almost always disappears when the new one comes. But that is usually over months or years, I have mine changing so rapidly. My thoughts are literally being turned into physical symptoms overnight. I know it's supposed to be a good thing when you have TMS on the run. I'm not letting it settle in anywhere but I also don't seem to be able actually chase it on out. I really wish I knew what this is trying to distract me from and I suspect that journaling may be the answer to that but for some reason have been unable to get myself to sit down and delve in.

Fascinating and frustrating stuff- this TMS.


Carolyn

tennis tom

USA
4746 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2014 :  09:55:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Carolyn


It is so obvious that I KNOW what it is and I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't happening to me. I do see this in so many people I know, where it is just always something that is bothering them and it drifts from one thing to another and the first almost always disappears when the new one comes. But that is usually over months or years, I have mine changing so rapidly. My thoughts are literally being turned into physical symptoms overnight. I know it's supposed to be a good thing when you have TMS on the run. I'm not letting it settle in anywhere but I also don't seem to be able actually chase it on out. I really wish I knew what this is trying to distract me from and I suspect that journaling may be the answer to that but for some reason have been unable to get myself to sit down and delve in.

Fascinating and frustrating stuff- this TMS.



Thanks for sharing Carolyn, with your TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN in your mindbody, it sounds like you are playing the TMS gremlin rather then it playing you. Your experience could make a good chapter in a TMS book, maybe you should write one or an article.

Maybe what the symptoms are distracting you from is doing what you want to be doing, instead of dealing with symptoms. What would you rather be doing in a positive, fun, rewarding vein? Maybe your sub-c doesn't think you deserve to be happy?--just guessing since I don't know you.

G'luck!
tt

Edited by - tennis tom on 10/15/2014 09:57:41
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Emilsen

Denmark
12 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2014 :  11:19:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Carolyn,

I've actually hoped for some time that you would return to the forum, but obviously not because you had issues. I have been struggling with my pelvic floor the last 1.5 year, and I have been reading all of your early posts. I wanted to contact you, but was not able to send you an e-mail.
I overcame lower back problems with "knowledge penicillin" and journaling five years ago, but I have not been able to address the pelvic floor. Your early success story has helped to give me hope, and I am still fighting.
Due to my own lack of success, I have been reluctant to post on the forum, but I follow it daily and I am grateful to all those who share their experiences and advice with us, whom are still not quite there yet.

However, your post speaks directly to me, as I have experienced exactly what you describe for the last year. My pelvic floor issues have not changed or moved since the beginning, they have only increased. After having unsuccessfully tried my old TMS route to begin with, I started in desperation to try all the other techniques that might help. Then other symptoms began to encounter to an extent I've never tried before. I have since my pelvic floor started to act up, also suffered from anxiety, and this also increased.
One of the techniques I tried was the "Sitting with emotions."
Many TMS'er describes that they initially were not able to feel their emotions. I, on the other hand, have always felt my emotions a lot, and have sometimes thought that my problem might be the opposite: that I simply felt too much, like I did not have a filter.
Anyway, I tried a couple of times a day to just sit and feel with no resistance. It felt in no way neither releasing or beneficial. I was hoping that I could eventually desensitise myself in relation to my feelings, or release them. No matter how long I was sitting, my emotions did not subside, on the contrary, they just became stronger. Every time I had to stop when it became too overwhelming.
At the same time, other symptoms appeared. It started, just like you, with reflux. This, I have had before, but I have always been able to get rid of it by actively challenge it. More precisely, I go against the medical advice, by increasing my intake of coffee, bend deliberately down, eat more spicy food, etc. This time it did not help. After four weeks, I had to surrender and go to the doctor. I was offered Losec, but I refused and instead I got a breath test for Helicobacter. This was negative. The following day the reflux was gone. Hmmm… Yes, it was TMS, but I really had not been in doubt. Still, this time it was not enough.
Hereafter it was like the floodgates had been opened, and all sorts of symptoms rained down on me, sometimes many different in the course of a day: IBS, gas, flank pain, leg pain, arm pain, itching all over the body, dizziness, night sweats, neck pain, lower back pain, dry mucous membranes, daily headaches, sensitive skin etc. I could go on. All symptoms have been jumping, some may disappear in a few minutes, others last a few days, some remains for weeks. The only constant symptom is my pelvic floor, that does not change at all.
What particularly struck me when I read your post, is the feeling that a thought can trigger symptoms shortly after. My focus on my body is, without doubt, much too high, but difficult to avoid with all the symptoms. I have several times, like you, thought about what will be next. Only to discover that whatever I've been thinking, it's like signing up as the next symptom. I'm almost starting to fear my thoughts. It's incredibly frustrating and also disturbing.
I know the TMS theory will say it is TMS on the run, but I'm honestly not sure. I've tried that phenomenon before and this seems different. My main symtom has not been replaced, it has been going on for almost a year, and I don't feel I have done anything right this time, so why should it be on the run? The only way I can get the symptoms to decrease these days, is when I am able not to focus on my emotions/anxiety. Then I can be "lucky" to only have the pelvic floor problem for a few days.

I am sorry that I don't have any advice to pass on to you, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your experiences.

If you feel like it, I would be happy if you would pm me.

Britt

Edited by - Emilsen on 10/15/2014 11:24:47
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alix

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 10/16/2014 :  17:45:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Emilsen and Carolyn,
I had pelvic pain as well for 10 years. I had pudendal decompression surgery and many other horrible procedures. Of course nothing worked.

For me the "sitting with emotions" that Monte describes was the key to healing. The only difference is that I did not do it a couple of times a day like he recommends. I did it all day long instead. Whenever I could on a moment to moment basis.
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Carolyn

184 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2014 :  15:20:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
TT- interesting thought. I've been thinking more along the lines of my inner child being pissed that as the mother of teenagers with ailing parents and a demanding job that I seldom get to do what I want to do. But one thing I have learned is that what the subconscious gets upset about is never what I think it is so whether I think I deserve the fun in the first place is a good angle for me to explore.

Brit-
Perhaps you and I have the same emotional "issues" since we have so many of the same symptoms- it certainly is validating to hear that someone else has such a similar experience! I do truly believe that everyone suffers these mind-body insults, most are just unwilling or unable to see it for what it is. It is worth noting that my reflux increased dramatically as soon as I came on here and posted that I had beat it. But I expected that as it always seems to happen whenever I brag that I am over something. Must be behind the psychology of feeling that you will "jinx" good fortune by talking about it. Anyways, since I expect it, I try to only allow it to reinforce my knowledge that this is just TMS. The chest-buzzing seems to have stopped with the renewed reflux. Taking note of things that do not make sense I what strengths my knowledge of TMS.

My pelvic pain was with me for a long time- I am thinking maybe about 5 years- but most of that is before I knew about TMS. It has been gone for probably almost 10 years now - completely- so you will get there. Several things jumped out at me about your post. The first is that you said you are also trying other things for the pelvic pain when the TMS approach didn't seem to work right away. Hard as it is to avoid seeking relief when you are suffering, getting caught up in physical cures whatever they me be really DOES prolong the pain. If you read my old posts, I think I tried it all and the only thing that eventually worked was stopping it all. You do not necessarily only have one pain at a time and perhaps your gremlin is worried that you are on to the pelvic pain so it is always working on a back-up plan.

You also mention that what works to get rid of the additional symptoms is to avoid your emotions and then you only feel lucky to only have the pelvic pain. What that should tell you is that feeling your emotions is working!! It's starting to dislodge the long-standing pelvic pain and that scares the TMS into bringing on another distraction. Feeling the emotional stuff is not fun- I continue to be unable to get myself to start journaling again which I know is what I need to do- it's such a yucky feeling and something you want to avoid but it is the key. You said sitting with your emotions didn't work because they didn't lessen and you had to stop when they became overwhelming. I think that is exactly wrong, when they get overwhelming that's when you need to lean into them even further. It means you are close. That's where the healing happens in the middle of the most intense, yucky, awful, overwhelming emotions. Ask yourself why you're afraid to go there- do you think the emotions could physically harm you, kill you even? Or are you afraid once you go there, you won't be able to get back? I've had all of those impulses and can easily rationalize that I just don't have the time or energy to face it "right now" but when I have the courage to keep going into them, they really do peak and then recede and then you'll know you are on the right track and start getting relief.

It sounds like that's what Alix is saying too. The physical therapies do not seem to ever help anyone. I'm not sure how to PM you - I don't think I have that set up on my account.

Carolyn
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alix

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 10/18/2014 :  22:05:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Carolyn,
Exactly. One caveat however. I found that it works well when you are out of the fight/flight catastrophic thinking mode. If you are in the fight/flight mode, it is absolutely impossible to connect with your emotions. To get out of that mode you need to use yoga breathing/mindfulness.
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RageSootheRatio

Canada
430 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2014 :  10:30:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Alix, I have been thinking of your posts a LOT lately (!) and was even thinking of starting a new thread re "sitting w/ your emotions" (a la Monte Hueftle). I just don't understand this:

>I found that it works well when you are out of the fight/flight catastrophic thinking mode. If you are in the fight/flight mode, it is absolutely impossible to connect with your emotions.

I can DEFINITELY be IN fight/flight mode while NOT BE in "catastrophic thinking mode." And isn't feeling "fight" /"flight" (ie anger or fear) .... aren't those emotions to SIT WITH? OR are you really saying that fight/flight is NOT an emotion... and that *from YOUR experience* that the 'sitting with emotions' is not productive, useful, helpful when one is in a 'full-blown stress reaction' ? ie flooded w/ fight/flight hormones?

I would say I have often been in fight/flight / full blown response mode and "mindfulness/breathing etc etc etc ETC! has not in my case been too helpful. Of course, that is why my (non-TMS-aware) doctor wanted to prescribe meds, (specifically Lexapro which is an SSRI) because he thought in my case, non-medicinal techniques or therapies would not work/be enough. (I have a lot of trauma in my background, and so I think 'fight/flight' got 'wired in' as a conditioned bodily response.)

At any rate, I would be very interested in hearing more about your experiences using (any of) Monte's ideas, and your success story (not sure if you posted your success story in the other forum or somewhere here, that I've missed?)

THANKS .. I've been following your posts with interest for some time!

~RSR

Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 10/19/2014 10:34:21
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alix

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 10/19/2014 :  11:41:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi RSR,
You are absolutely right to make the distinction. For me and as I felt it, I used to go in my usual pattern of repression (googling the same stuff, reading news sites, obsessing about things, or catastrophic thinking) I could feel then a sharp increase in pain and my heart started racing. My body would get stiff. It was over. Full blown flight/fight (or what I think the flight/fight is in my case). At that stage, there was no more sitting with emotions.

And you are right. Once you are there, you realize what you have done and no matter what you think or do, it won't go away. It is a self perpetuating mode that will remain for the rest of the day.

I would have to get out of that mode first by calming down my mind by doing abdominal breathing, concentrating on my breath etc.

Monte calls it the "think clean" but he does not go into it very much. I suppose he describes more how to prevent entering the fight/flight mode by thinking clean, be present etc. But if you get into the flight/fight mode then mindfulness/relaxation is the key to get out of it.
Abigail Steidley's old ebook was more detailed and described the process very accurately.

ps: Yes, I need to write that success story. Every time I start I have to stop after a paragraph. 12 long years of pain. A bit of PTSD I guess.

Edited by - alix on 10/19/2014 19:59:18
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Emilsen

Denmark
12 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2014 :  03:56:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Carolyn,
Thank you for your kind and caring reply!
You started this thread, and now it's you, who are helping me. I feel quite guilty, but thanks again.
I recognize so many of the things you mention. Like you, I have experienced "the jinx" many times. This has also kept me from posting sometimes. But even in daily life, I find that I try to avoid the thought "isn't it a little better now?". I have often experienced, that just the thought, seems to be able to launch a worsening in my symptoms almost immediately.
I wish it could give me hope, instead of backfiring on me.
You could well be right, that we might share some of the same emotional issues. I, like you, have also felt strong reluctance to start journaling again. I tried, at the beginning of my pelvic floor symptoms, but stopped, as I did not feel it gave me any insight this time. I seems to me, that I have already journaled about everything. I have, like many on this forum, a lot of traumas from a dysfunctional past, many tragic deaths, many unhealthy personality traits, etc. I must be a treat for any psychologist! But I have previously written page after page, on everything I could think of. I don't think I have anything left to journal about.
I don't know what triggered my pelvic floor symptoms, or what issues I need to address. There are so many, and I feel like throwing up at the mere thought of having to dig into all that old crap again.
This was one of the reasons why I tried "sitting with emotions". To try to feel my emotions, without necessarily having to analyze everything.
You wrote: "You said sitting with your emotions didn't work because they didn't lessen and you had to stop when they became overwhelming. I think that is exactly wrong, when they get overwhelming that's when you need to lean into them even further.".
I know you're right! The fact that this cascade of new symptoms, besides my original pelvic floor issues, started after I began "sitting with emotions", is obviously stunning. But since my pelvic floor symptoms haven't decreased or moved just a bit, it makes me doubt whether I am doing the right thing. Or if I am just making it worse. I am still trying, but it feels like I'm doing it blindly, I have no idea what I'm doing!
It seems like, you are not quite so intimidated of your symptoms as I am. Your humorous approach, and that you can actually laugh at your TMS at times, is a major advantage I think. I admire your strength, and your ability to look at it from a distance. I have no doubt, that this will get you through this round of TMS too.

RSR!
I can identify with your thoughts and questions about "sitting with emotions".
You say: "I can DEFINITELY be IN fight / flight mode while NOT BE in" catastrophic thinking fashion."
Me too! In fact, I think I am in fight / flight mode all the time (maybe more freeze mode). As you, these are the emotions I have focused on, while "sitting".

Alix!
I sent you PM a few days ago, I don't know if you got it?. I didn't want to hijack Carolyn's thread, but I wrote you, to ask you a bit more about Montes "sitting with emotions".
My own experience is, that I feel my emotions physically; as chest tightness, a stone in the stomach a burning turmoil throughout the body, etc. I am thinking that it feels like anxiety, perhaps grief but can not identify them more than that. I don't get a clarification on why I have these feelings, or what I'm afraid of. So I just focus on the physical sense, and try to feel without resistance. During this, the discomfort increases, my heart is pounding, but I continue trying to be relaxed and just accept. It never fades out, and I don't seem to release anything. It goes on and on until I finally stop.
I have tried to sit for more than an hour, to see what happened, but it just gets more and more unbearable.
Am I doing it all wrong? Is my fight / flight mode just more reinforced? I am confused!
Like RSR, I too would be grateful, if you could explain a little more about your experience with this.

All the best from Denmark,
Britt
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alix

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2014 :  10:08:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Emilsen,
Sorry, I'll check my email. When I sat with my emotions and I experienced them, I felt a physical sensation. I felt muscles in my pelvic floor and my shoulders release. It is incredibly noticeable. Then the pain would vanish for a while.
I suspect that you are in the fight/flight mode. I just could not experience my emotions when I was in that mode. I would not even try.
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Carolyn

184 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2014 :  21:02:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Britt,
Trust me that laughing at my TMS has not come easily! I started out my journey with little but despair and doubt but it has been a long time and I try to always be alert to things that happen with my physical symptoms that just do not make 'sense' and when you do that you realize how obvious it is that it is psychological. So maybe use that as your writing prompt- all the illogical things you have observed with your symptoms to at least reinforce your belief in TMS. That is a less scary proposition and I always find that once I start journaling, I usually find something of use to delve into.
One other thought on all this is that what I actually found to be a big key for me was not so much my time that I sat down at night to journal but instead starting to notice the feelings when they first come up and learning to just allow them to come. Sort of catching myself before I repress them. It's not always convenient and sometimes you feel like if you let them come, it has to be one of those big, sitting with emotions moments that can be overwhelming - and who has time for that in the middle of their day? Not to mention the fear that you can't control them. But I didn't find it to be like that, just noticing the emotion and acknowledging it as soon as it comes up seemed to be enough. I also often find that I can access my emotions while I'm still lying in bed in the morning. Like Alix, I often can actually feel tension releasing or even just moving in the process and sort of allow myself to move with it and stretch into it and just observe what is happening. It usually leaves me feeling quite relaxed afterwards.
Keep at the journaling too. I journaled for years and went to therapy and it was a very long time before I think I hit on what some of my main issues actually were. I also have a fair amount of trauma in my background and probably just importantly, was raised by a very anxious, passive-aggressive and emotionally distant mother and have come to realize how much of her patterns I have internalized. I actually think that for me, this troubled relationship with my mother could have been the major trigger for my pelvic pain which originally came on during my pregnancy.

Carolyn
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alix

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 10/20/2014 :  22:39:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Carolyn,
Well said. What you wrote is 100% my experience with working on emotions. By the end and when I finally experienced a turnaround, simply asking myself "what emotion am I feeling now?" was enough to make my pelvic floor release. Just the thought of attending to my emotions even that I was actually not delving into them was enough.

I had a difficult time with journaling. Drawing was more successful. Drawing my body, my emotions was more intuitive and effective. I think it is Dr.Alexander that suggested it. Pretty scary looking drawings.

ps: Your story was a source of inspiration for me. That was the first time I read about somebody recovering from that horror that is pelvic pain.

Edited by - alix on 10/21/2014 23:11:33
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Emilsen

Denmark
12 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2014 :  02:54:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Carolyn,

I am still riding the TMS roller coaster - symptoms on and off.
But you and Alix have given me a lot to think about. It seems you both have done the emotional work, moment by moment, rather than force your self into a schedule, an hour here and and hour there.
I will try to implement this, it seems much more gently.
I am also trying to observe all the "illogical things" as you suggested. And there are certainly many!!!
I can easily identify with your feelings toward your mother.
I also have an emotional unstable and alcoholic mother, who has never been able to take any responsibility. My father was my rock, but he died ten years ago. I am an only child, and my mother is all I have left. I take care of her, emotionally and financially but she is my lifelong concern.
I will keep you updated - thanks again for all your advice!

Take care
Britt
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Carolyn

184 Posts

Posted - 10/22/2014 :  15:33:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Two nights ago I had trouble sleeping and woke up with anxiety in the morning. I know exactly why- my "filter" from mind to mouth does not always work as well as it used to now that I am getting older and I said something that offended someone. It was something that I do think was true and I didn't intend to say it in a hurtful way but in hind-sight I never should have said it and the person got angry at me. One thing I have learned is that the people-pleaser in me just cannot stand to have someone not 'like' me whether or not I like them and thus the anxiety. With our conversations fresh on my mind, I tried "leaning into" the anxiety but it so did not work and it just got more intense and then I realized that that may have been what Alix meant about it not working when you are in fight-or-flight mode. That also got me thinking about the anxiety that came after my reflux resolved. I remember that I tried to treat it by feeling the anxiety and it really wasn't effective.

Is anxiety a distraction like other symptoms and should be ignored or is it a positive thing where the emotions are finally coming to the surface and should be leaned-into and felt? It seems we are undecided about that. I was thinking the latter and was trying to treat it by focusing on the anxiety (and I know I have read somewhere that that is a good cure for anxiety) but now I wonder. I guess it would be appropriate to feel it if fear was the actual emotion you were dealing with but if the emotion is something else as I think it must be for me recent experience (I am not afraid of the person whose feelings I hurt- more upset that they won't like me)then maybe the fear of anxiety is a distraction from the real feelings of lack of self worth? Perhaps a new way of thinking about things for me.

p.s. Alix, I'm so glad my story could help you. I feel like this board literally saved my life (or at least my quality of life) when I found it years ago. At the time, there were not a lot or people on it suffering from pelvic pain but I think that has changed. But the support and finding a place to vent that was not about wallowing in pity over the pain was an amazing thing.

Carolyn
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MatthewNJ

USA
691 Posts

Posted - 10/23/2014 :  13:57:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Carolyn,

More affirmation from me. I have had similar and rapidly changing symptoms. And you clearly demonstrated your thoughts create your life (which has been scientifically proven)!

Matthew
Less activated, more regulated and more resilient.
Ferretsx3@comcast.net

Organizer of TMSwiki.org/chat
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miehnesor

USA
430 Posts

Posted - 10/23/2014 :  22:47:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Emilson,
What you describe about the feelings like anxiety and heart pounding sounds a lot like what I went through some 6-8 years ago as I was pushing into the repressed rage that had driven me nuts for so long. Remember that the unconscious is terrified of the rage and is desperate to keep it out of consciousness.

I used inner child meditation in therapy to let this anxiety, heart pounding, just happen. Then I waited till the pounding ramped up to maximum level and then just let the emotion-rage-come out. Then under the rage comes the emotional pain and would let myself cry and feel it for as long as I could while I was giving the inner child the affirmations that he never heard at the time but could receive now.

This was quite a process that took about 2 years to work through. Over time the emotion slowly diminished and with it the symptoms. Now I am not symptom free but much much better than before I had worked through those feelings.

I really like the inner child approach as it can help you just push aside your conscious control and bond with the injured child inside. Once you connect with the child and really be there for her then it will be easier to just have the feelings and not care if they may be a little on the crazy side.

If you are interested I recommend John Bradshaw's work. His books and workshops really should point you in the right direction. Another book that I really like is called Healing your aloneness. You can get them from amazon.

Hope this helps.

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alfaman147

United Kingdom
48 Posts

Posted - 10/25/2014 :  12:28:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi all. I am a 31 year old male with terrible rectal ache and pressure all day long. I have suffered for 6 years. Had loads of tests and scans and all is ok. I have major anxiety and this problem has caused depression. It does however come and go but when it comes I cannot think of anything else. I know it is caused or made worse with stress and anxiety. Just thinking about this problem makes the pain worse. I have recently started seeing a tms therapist here in the uk so I am still quite new to all of this. I seem to seek for someone with this same issue and I came across this forum. I always have suffered from nervous tension. Just wish I could give myself a bang on the head so I could forget about this problem. If I have a few drinks the problem goes away. Also if I am on holiday I have no problems either
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miehnesor

USA
430 Posts

Posted - 10/25/2014 :  21:25:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by alfaman147

If I have a few drinks the problem goes away. Also if I am on holiday I have no problems either


That's a big clue. Perhaps it is someone at work that you are angry at but that you haven't
realized.

What else is different about the non holiday situation that might be bothering you? Make a
list of all the possibilities and write them down. Maybe you will have a breakthrough.

The particular type of symptom is not so important. It's just trying to distract you and yes
I am familiar with that annoying symptom.
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alfaman147

United Kingdom
48 Posts

Posted - 10/26/2014 :  12:13:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Alot of my pain is to do with my job, while I'm at work I have pain. I get very stressed and my therapist says that there is a strong link between my pain and my job. I have started to look for another job. Just a bit scared.
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alfaman147

United Kingdom
48 Posts

Posted - 10/26/2014 :  12:51:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am keen to hear off Carolyn. Having searched Google for years and years for an answer, carolyns name came up many times. I just feel like i have a golf ball stuck up my ass all the time. Passing gas helps briefly as does having a bowel movement but the feeling starts to creep back.
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Carolyn

184 Posts

Posted - 10/26/2014 :  21:27:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Alfaman- Interesting to find out that when you search the internet for "pain in the ass", my name comes up :)

What would you like to know?

Carolyn
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