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 So... How do you find your rage?
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tompny

USA
4 Posts

Posted - 07/01/2015 :  18:05:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Do you just sit with it?
Meditation?
Yell at people as they drive by you on the thruway?

I know I have TMS - even though I just googled the symptoms for MS.

I injured my back in 2012 - resolved it with Sarno. Ended up moving it, however, into my joints, my feet, etc. These days its an eye twitch and calf twitching. thats my latest manifestation. Last year it was carpal tunnel.

So I've got. Its moving around. I've had victory over symptoms before - big ones... but it comes back.

I know there is some unchecked rage. The best night of sleep I ever get is when I get into a fight with my wife, that escalates into something that doesn't have anything to do with her, and I dump out a few things I'm pissed at and the tension in my shoulders leaves... and I go to sleep and seep great.

The other 89 days between these unleashings... I'm all tied up and tension.

I see a counselor who has been helping me figure things out. he's really down with the fact that when I was a kid my parents were old and not around much .. and I get that. But this TMS got superbad just the past couple years.

I'm trying to locate this repressed rage. I have plenty to be angry about. My nephew killed himself, my parents both just got put in nursing homes, I got divorced a few years ago, I had a crappy boss for awhile.. I have the rage.

But how do I ... release it? let it go?

What is the technique to take that rage and process it somewhere other than into my neck and shoulder muscles?

Thanks! You all rock.

filipe

Portugal
280 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2015 :  01:36:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I think that just being aware that the rage exists, and its there, and to just accept it as a natural and human thing, not fight it, it is suficient for rage to not manifest trough your body, in a form of pain...
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tennis tom

USA
4746 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2015 :  08:56:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by filipe

I think that just being aware that the rage exists, and its there, and to just accept it as a natural and human thing, not fight it, it is suficient for rage to not manifest trough your body, in a form of pain...



What he said, you just need to believe in the Good Doctor's theory.

==================================================

TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale

Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605

==================================================

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti

"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation” – Plato

"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto

"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter

"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox

"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise" - Thomas Gray

"All my friends in Los Angeles are the sensitive type. They all have like all the diseases like Chronic Fatigue, Epstien Barr, Fibromyalgia. Like all the diseases where the only symptoms seem to be you had a really crappy childhood and at the prospect of full time work ya feel kinda achy and tired."

Posted by Skizzik @ TMSHelp from comedian Maria Bamford

======================================================

"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod

=================================================


TMS PRACTITIONERS:

John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035

Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.

"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno



Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm

Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist


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tompny

USA
4 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2015 :  20:19:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Well... that hasn't worked so far.

I'm aware.
Its still here.
Its pretty un-ignorable.
Calves twitching.
Eyelid twitching.
Hands falling asleep at night. Its pretty persistent.
Just having a tough time figuring out what part of the process I'm missing as I read through it over and over.
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RageSootheRatio

Canada
430 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2015 :  15:36:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
>What is the technique to take that rage and process it somewhere other than into my neck and shoulder muscles?

It sounds like you actually already found your own answer, in a way:

>The best night of sleep I ever get is when I get into a fight with my wife, that escalates into something that doesn't have anything to do with her, and I dump out a few things I'm pissed at and the tension in my shoulders leaves... and I go to sleep and seep great.

How is it that you actually EXPRESS that anger when you "dump out a few things... and the tension leaves" ? Is it by yelling? or ?

If it is by yelling for example, can you do it with your counsellor by role-playing?

~RSR
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tompny

USA
4 Posts

Posted - 07/05/2015 :  07:02:36  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thats a good point.
Yelling gets a lot out for sure.
I'll bring this up with him Thanks.
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Scottydog

United Kingdom
330 Posts

Posted - 07/11/2015 :  01:18:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I thought the rage could be rage at the unfairness that you are a nerd/ failure/ unlikeable/ unpopular/ not as good at your job as your buddy/ not as good a father/ husband/ partner as you should be - so the solution is to come to terms with who you really are.

Just an ordinary bloke with failings.

Until after a while and some work on self understanding, you realize you're just an ordinary Joe, with good points and bad........ but so is everyone else.

So I think the rage is how you are hiding the shame and embarrassment you feel, and can't bring yourself to admit, about the failure that you are frightened that you truly are.
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marytabby

USA
545 Posts

Posted - 07/16/2015 :  09:45:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tompny,
I, too get the twitching eyelid on occasion and it is so annoying. Funny, I also have the same questions you have... just HOW do we get to the rage? If the venting/screaming helps then that's great info to recognize. I don't think I've found a way yet. Funny, now that my right knee has swollen up and has pain for two months, the eye twitch has completely stopped. It's like the knee took over for the eye. I am doing some journaling, listing all my life stressors, doing the self-talk and jogging through the pain, the way I did when I got rid of my back TMS in 2005. I am sick of the knee and will admit it's got my attention and I'm supposed to ignore it which I mostly can do. If you come up with a good way to access that rage please let us know.
Mary in Boston

Edited by - marytabby on 07/16/2015 09:46:54
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Ms. Me

5 Posts

Posted - 07/24/2015 :  14:57:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi...Yes, the rage. I have it too. Passed down from the well intentioned parents (mom was a rager, dad a repressed rager) and here we all are. For what it's worth, I'll share the following story.

I live in a place with a lot of hiking trails. I moved here 11 years ago from a large city and when I first started hiking, and doing a lot of inner exploring, I was able to access some thoughts and revelations that would lead me to feeling angry, but I couldn't quite reach the deep, violent feeling rage I knew was there. The kind that would come out at inopportune times, like while driving or when I stubbed my toe. One day, on a remote trail, I decided to pick up a rock and throw it at another rock. Then I did it again with another larger rock, throwing it harder and more accurately, so that it exploded upon impact. It felt good. Really good. I did it again. And again. And as I threw the rocks, more insights came as to what I was really angry about. I ended up in tears, exhausted, but also feeling a tremendous sense of calm.

Over the years I have used this technique, and just recently, after not having done it for a long while, I was reminded of it's usefulness. I was hiking a new trail and not paying enough attention to my surroundings. I walked straight into a tree branch that nearly took out my eye. The pain and surprise simultaneously brought me to my knees and stirred up that intense, "I could kill with my bare hands" rage. Wow. I started in with the rocks. I threw them until I was weak and I could feel a little forgiveness for the person I had been thinking about and for myself as well. Then, for the first time in all my rock throwing experiences, I looked down and saw a large flat rock in the shape of an almost perfect heart. That was pretty awesome.

So...your question, how to release the rage? We are physical beings, and while I am a huge advocate of talk therapy, journaling and meditation, I think we are best healed when we combine some "physical" therapy with that too. Rock throwing, kickboxing, pillow punching, running, drumming, dancing, as long as no one, including you, gets hurt, it helps to physically let the rage out. At least that has been my experience.

As it pertains to this site, I have healed myself twice using Dr. Sarno's work. The first was a low back issue (3 months of intense pain and the usual diagnosis of herniated L4-L5 disc). The second was a chronic (for two years) pelvic disorder.

quote:
Originally posted by tompny

Do you just sit with it?
Meditation?
Yell at people as they drive by you on the thruway?

I know I have TMS - even though I just googled the symptoms for MS.

I injured my back in 2012 - resolved it with Sarno. Ended up moving it, however, into my joints, my feet, etc. These days its an eye twitch and calf twitching. thats my latest manifestation. Last year it was carpal tunnel.

So I've got. Its moving around. I've had victory over symptoms before - big ones... but it comes back.

I know there is some unchecked rage. The best night of sleep I ever get is when I get into a fight with my wife, that escalates into something that doesn't have anything to do with her, and I dump out a few things I'm pissed at and the tension in my shoulders leaves... and I go to sleep and seep great.

The other 89 days between these unleashings... I'm all tied up and tension.

I see a counselor who has been helping me figure things out. he's really down with the fact that when I was a kid my parents were old and not around much .. and I get that. But this TMS got superbad just the past couple years.

I'm trying to locate this repressed rage. I have plenty to be angry about. My nephew killed himself, my parents both just got put in nursing homes, I got divorced a few years ago, I had a crappy boss for awhile.. I have the rage.

But how do I ... release it? let it go?

What is the technique to take that rage and process it somewhere other than into my neck and shoulder muscles?

Thanks! You all rock.

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summabody

Canada
27 Posts

Posted - 07/24/2015 :  17:42:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is something I tinkered with last night after a frantic "mission" to find out how to release blocked emotion through some fruitless Google searching.

Based on Ace1's keys, the idea of reconditioning the fight or flight response to emotion.

Instead of releasing or ridding myself of the emotion, I recalled a current and past stressor and applied mindful acceptance/distancing technique to the way it made me feel.

Lying down (this is a form of active mediation)

1. Recognize the emotion, and observe it as such (distance yourself from it, observe, the emotion is neither bad or good, it just is, you're a normal human being for feeling it, the key is to not get into fight/flight about it). Allow yourself to feel it without trying to change it or assigning judgment to it. We repress emotions that we have told ourselves we're not allowed to have. Emotions we accept/tolerate can be dealt with in the moment and there's no need to repress, so job one is breaking the repression habit.

A good place to start is with emotions that we recognize we immediately "stuff" or we were brought up to believe were bad/unacceptable. For example I grew up religious so anger, envy, lust, sadness - these were not "living in the Spirit" and thus must be immediately deflected or negated.

2. Reframe the situation that arouses this emotion in any way that makes it less threatening, by either reminding yourself how in the past it is, how it isn't an immediate threat, and if possible any good thing that came out of it (if possible). Work on sitting with the memory/feeling, and not running from it or being scared (fight/flight). This is deconditioning the conditioned response that triggers bracing in the nervous system resulting in symptoms.

3. Watch each thought as if it's moving on a train - think the thought and let it go. If you feel a body sensation, notice it and watch it roll on with that train, along with any other sensory input you're getting. Make it a game and keep reminding yourself you're not your thoughts or your emotions.

This worked for me this morning, and I'm going to do my best to do this every morning and night to really practice. Of course you can think this way whenever you're triggered and feel yourself bracing.

Subconscious rage in my opinion is not as important as the things we can easily recall as stressors and it sounds like you (OP) are aware of a few things and are also working on things with a therapist that is plenty to go on for now without worrying about what's not obvious and buried (not to say Sarno's theory wasn't bang on, but he did say it wasn't necessarily required to figure out these things, just to be aware that the pain comes from emotion vs. structural).

If you're conscious of the rage/triggers, it's not subconscious, but you may be repressing it as a functional habit. This exercise is to change the reaction/reframe the belief and attitudes to the emotion (recognizing you don't have to alter the situation/memory, just the response).
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summabody

Canada
27 Posts

Posted - 07/24/2015 :  18:31:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The other thing we know from Sarno about unconscious rage is goodist/perfectionist traits are a cause. So if we recognize those traits in ourselves, we don't need to experience the rage, just assume it's there, and work on the goodist/perfectionist stuff (without doing so in a goodist/perfectionist way).

That might be as simple as practicing self-compassion, taking a day off, letting someone help you, say no to that thing you feel obligated to do, etc.
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